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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Giving the neighbour the 'nice' side of the fence

150 replies

CauliflowerBalti · 07/06/2018 12:06

I was unaware of this particular piece of crackers British social etiquette - I have just spent £2500 on fence panels for my boundary with my neighbour. The concrete posts are being installed today, and my neighbour just shouted across that she's done some research and I do know that I'm supposed to give them the 'nice' side, right?

No. No I did not know this. And it sounded like cheeky fuckery of the highest order, but it's a fucking THING. Our ridiculously courteous country really does expect people to not only fork out, but give the neighbours the best fecking view! It's replacing an old decrepit falling down wire fence. It's a SIGNIFICANT upgrade. And a heinously expensive one.

AIBU to think that some of our customs are truly baffling? And also that, while it may be a thing, it is not the kind of thing that would ask for in advance? Like, it's polite to let other people go through a door before you, but only a wanker would make a point of asking?

And no, I won't get the benefit of my neighbour on the other side extending the same bonkers courtesy to me. He can't afford a fence, nice side or otherwise. I have a falling down wall that side, unless I can find another £2500 to do his too.

HONESTLY.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
PinkHeart5914 · 07/06/2018 12:08

Surely a fence looks the same both sides? Confused

sweetboykit · 07/06/2018 12:08

You need the ugly side facing your garden so you can maintain the structure of the fence.

Butterflykissess · 07/06/2018 12:08

I don't get this either. I don't mind what side of the fence I have aslong as I don't have to see my neighbours!

corcaithecat · 07/06/2018 12:09

Rubbish You can put the fence up any way you like.

Original poster
CauliflowerBalti · 07/06/2018 12:10

I just read this on a forum:

"The law presumes that the posts and rails will be on the owners side of the fence, therefore, the 'good' side goes towards the neighbour.

When you're erecting a fence, the intention is to secure your boundary - if the deeds, or whatever paperwork you are relying on, state it is your fence, and you erect the fence, abutting the boundary, with the good side towards the neighbour - then congratulations, you've done everything possible to secure your boundary. If you've erected the fence with the good side towards you, your boundary is not as secure as it could have been.

The convention of giving the good side to the neighbour, may be old, but that in no way affects its usefulness, in fact it enhances it. With so many questions on here and elsewhere as to who owns a fence, and with a lack of information from the LR, give the good side to the neighbour, and clearly denote ownership of your fence, and, more importantly, land."

How the fecking FECK is my boundary any less secure or defined if I have the fence panels the other way around?

To be clear, I don't actually give a flying fig about what my view is and I don't much care which around they go. It's the ridiculousness of the custom. That, and the fact she had the never to ask - for yes, there is history of cheeky fuckery.

It's also my job to maintain the fence though. I'm going to have a rainbow pride fence. Every panel a different colour.

OP posts:
Hideandgo · 07/06/2018 12:10

Pinkheart😂 Where do you think the posts go?

BarbaraofSevillle · 07/06/2018 12:11

Are you paying for all of the fence yourself? Is there a significant difference in the nice and nasty sides?

Tell them they can have the nice side, if they pay 60% of the cost - splitting 50/50 but they pay a bit extra for the nice side, obviously.

YANBU to think some British customs are truely baffling. I'm still waiting for someone to explain why it's wrong to sit in the front garden, that doesn't include 'I think it doesn't look very nice' or varients thereof.

Original poster
CauliflowerBalti · 07/06/2018 12:11

@sweetboykit - I'm going to have to slide the panels out to maintain them anyway, though? Can't paint the other side from my side...?

OP posts:
Thehop · 07/06/2018 12:12

I put nice side in

Original poster
CauliflowerBalti · 07/06/2018 12:13

The concrete posts are fully on my side of the boundary, and the panels slot into them. The 'nice' side doesn't have vertical struts.

I'm paying for the whole lot. While I'm not much arsed about having the 'bad' side, I would have instinctively put the panels the other way.

Oof.

OP posts:
BlueJava · 07/06/2018 12:14

So the fencing posts go in your ground and the fence on the side away from them (therefore showing a "nice" fence to the neighbour) marks the boundary. Otherwise your fence posts will be in your NDN's garden.

However, you'll always have one not so nice side at least as generally each garden has one maintained by the homeowner, the other maintained by NDN.

ExecutiveDiamondBossBabeHun · 07/06/2018 12:14

I wish our fencer had given my neighbour the "nice" side. I actually prefer the other side. But he didn't and now we have a massive really dull fence 😕

Original poster
CauliflowerBalti · 07/06/2018 12:15

So if I have the fence panels the other way around, technically I've given away a bit of my garden to my neighbours?

WHAT MADNESS IS THIS?

OP posts:
MyOtherUsernameisaPun · 07/06/2018 12:15

This seems eminently sensible to me. Your fence is presumably inoffensive on both sides and so a moot point but I don't see why anyone's neighbours should have to put up with an ugly fence (if it was such a thing).

For what it's worth in my garden we have the 'nice' side of the fence on one side and the 'ugly' side on the other and one is noticeably more attractive! I just grew plants up the uglier one to hide it Grin

Cantspell2 · 07/06/2018 12:16

I had a new fence put in earlier this year. Cost me a lot of money so I have the nice side facing me.
There is no law that you have to give your neighbors the better side and if they want a nicer fence they can put their own in their garden.

FrogFairy · 07/06/2018 12:16

If I am paying for it then I want the pretty view.

I don’t see a problem with this as long as it is 100% on my land and not encroaching on neighbour’s garden.

Original poster
CauliflowerBalti · 07/06/2018 12:16

Who drew up these ridiculous rules to define and defend property? I'm going to build a motherfucking moat. Or get lions to piss around my border.

No no. You don't need to do that. Just put your fence panels the wrong way around...

FFS.

OP posts:
greendale17 · 07/06/2018 12:17

**I had a new fence put in earlier this year. Cost me a lot of money so I have the nice side facing me.

There is no law that you have to give your neighbors the better side and if they want a nicer fence they can put their own in their garden.**

^That is exactly what I did too

Original poster
CauliflowerBalti · 07/06/2018 12:18

A fence is a fence is a fence. Unless I do decide to rainbow pride it, neither side is offensive.

It's a petty rage. I'm full of rage at the moment, and I'm directing it at this. British fencing customs. CHRIST.

OP posts:
PalePinkSwan · 07/06/2018 12:19

You just need to ensure that the posts are on your land.

For most fence designs that would mean the nicer side faces out from your land.

But if that’s not necessary for your fence design, then put the nice side facing you.

You definitely have no obligation to give them the nice side.

metalmum15 · 07/06/2018 12:21

It's your fence, do what you like with it. All 3 sides of our fence belong to us and all 3 'nice' sides face into our garden.

Panda81 · 07/06/2018 12:22

I actually prefer the 'not-nice' side as the vertical struts are great for attaching things to

Original poster
CauliflowerBalti · 07/06/2018 12:22

Because the panels slide in down a central groove in the concrete post, they can go either way - the posts and the entire panel will be fully on my side, and technically I suppose I'm giving away a third of a concrete post's width of my garden to them (which I will charge a peppercorn rent for).

I can't believe I'm devoting this much energy on even talking about it.

And yet here I am. RARGH.

OP posts:
Alienspaceship · 07/06/2018 12:22

We see aware of this - and chose not to do it.

MayCatt · 07/06/2018 12:23

I didn't realise this was the custom either. As a first time home owner, when I paid a small fortune for a new fence I naturally put the best looking side facing my garden.

If my neighbours want a nicer view they are very welcome to put up their own posts and fence.