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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Giving the neighbour the 'nice' side of the fence

150 replies

CauliflowerBalti · 07/06/2018 12:06

I was unaware of this particular piece of crackers British social etiquette - I have just spent £2500 on fence panels for my boundary with my neighbour. The concrete posts are being installed today, and my neighbour just shouted across that she's done some research and I do know that I'm supposed to give them the 'nice' side, right?

No. No I did not know this. And it sounded like cheeky fuckery of the highest order, but it's a fucking THING. Our ridiculously courteous country really does expect people to not only fork out, but give the neighbours the best fecking view! It's replacing an old decrepit falling down wire fence. It's a SIGNIFICANT upgrade. And a heinously expensive one.

AIBU to think that some of our customs are truly baffling? And also that, while it may be a thing, it is not the kind of thing that would ask for in advance? Like, it's polite to let other people go through a door before you, but only a wanker would make a point of asking?

And no, I won't get the benefit of my neighbour on the other side extending the same bonkers courtesy to me. He can't afford a fence, nice side or otherwise. I have a falling down wall that side, unless I can find another £2500 to do his too.

HONESTLY.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Whattheactualfuckmate · 07/06/2018 12:24

What a load of bull!! Shock

Didn’t even know that was a ‘thing’ 😂

CloudCaptain · 07/06/2018 12:24

Just buy a fence panel that looks nice on both sides.

Cantspell2 · 07/06/2018 12:25

modern fencing means it is easier to have the posts on your land and the nice side facing you as most posts now are just slot in.

My entire fence is on my land. Posts, gravel boards and panels. It is mine. I paid for it and I maintain it therefore it is up to me how I have it and please don’t attach anything to it on your side as it is my fence not a support for your clematis.

Original poster
CauliflowerBalti · 07/06/2018 12:25

Honestly. She's been out there taking cuttings of all MY plants that will have to be cut back ruthlessly to accommodate the new fence. I caught her mid snip this morning. Am I bothered? No. "Take what you fancy." She gathers fruit from my blackberry bushes and apple tree every year. Did it in secret until I caught her scrumping. But all good - I can't eat it all. "Take what you fancy."

SHE WANTS THE NICE FENCE TOO. RARGH.

OP posts:
HoppingPavlova · 07/06/2018 12:25

Uhhm, I don’t live in Britain and can tell you it’s a thing everywhere. It’s the way it’s always been and if you both go halves you flip a coin. Everyone knows this. Not sure if the confusion?

Bodicea · 07/06/2018 12:26

Pretty certain that there is a set side you get the good side on - the one maybe as you suggested related to where the posts are - which the neighbour replaces.
Our neighbour just replaced all the fences and gave us the good side. But we did extend him the courtesy of giving half of the cost. And will paint our own side.
So technically you should get the good side on the other side and it’s your neighbours responsibility to replace.
The rule does rely on having good neighbours either side- hence your problem. Really you should have asked her to contribute before you got into this situation. But suppose on your relationship with her. She is a cf to ask for the good side and not offer to contribute.

NotAnotherUserName5 · 07/06/2018 12:28

I was going to say you are BU, as you need the posts on your side.

As you have the posts on your side, yanbu!

JengaCupboard · 07/06/2018 12:30

It's definitely a thing... but i'm not sure how enforceable it actually is. I mean I can't see the planning authority getting involved over such minor issues. Would they?

Oddly when we bought our house we have the rubbish sides of both fences... similarly when we get around replace our boundary side, we'll be having the decent side.

Singlebutmarried · 07/06/2018 12:32

We’ve got concrete posts somthe panels slot in, the panels are nice side in otherwosenthe dog can use the rungs to escape.

Ariela · 07/06/2018 12:33

Devon panels are the same both sides.

BarbaraofSevillle · 07/06/2018 12:33

I think if you google enough, you will find evidence that supports either view.

This site says that there there are no set rules about who owns each section of fence, but it will be detailed in the property deeds.

On the matter of who gets the 'good' side (or the smooth side in this example) it says that whoever buys it chooses which way it faces, which is fair enough.

'If your neighbour pays for a fence that he erects on his own land (even if he builds the fence so that the outer face of it, as seen from his land, runs along the boundary) then he is entitled to choose the style and colour of the fence, as well as whether he places the smooth side of the fence to face in towards his own house or out to face your house'.

I assume that there is a disclaimer somewhere on the site along the lines of 'for clarity 'he' is used to represent either a male or female person' rather than they think only men buy fences.

Cantspell2 · 07/06/2018 12:34

I wouldn’t contribute to paying for a fence on my neibours land.
Why would I want to help pay for something I have no control over?

Better if each house pays for their own fencing.

Original poster
CauliflowerBalti · 07/06/2018 12:35

I am beginning to understand where the idea came from. Wooden posts on my land, with fence hammered to them so the posts are in my garden. Yes - the 'nice' side would be outward facing then.

That is not how my posts work though. Oof.

OP posts:
chocatoo · 07/06/2018 12:35

It's easier to put up nails, wires, etc. for climbing plants on the 'bad' side so that makes it the good side for me!

Tinty · 07/06/2018 12:35

Put the fence up fairly; 50/50, nice panel your side, next panel not so nice side, nice panel your side, next panel not so nice side and so on Grin.

Seriously though it used to be in 'Ye olde olden days' that the not so nice side went on your side because the fence posts could be climbed over for access to your garden. Which is why; if you have a back garden which faces a pavement and you have a fence, you put the nice side towards the road to stop 'wrong-uns' nipping in to nick your blackberries and apples. Hmmm maybe you do need the nice side towards your neighbour. Smile

Bramble71 · 07/06/2018 12:35

Ignore him. You don't have to do any such thing. No such piece of etiquette, British or not.

Shadow666 · 07/06/2018 12:37

I agree with the others. There’s an etiquette but no law on this so why get so upset. Just have the nice side facing you. If your neighbor complains tell her to do one. There’s nothing she can do about it.

Confusedbeetle · 07/06/2018 12:37

I was talking to a fencer on this subject yesterday. He puts the side whichever way the customer wants it. It is an old courtesy and not a law. Slot in panels have no relation to the maintenance and I believe look pretty similar both sides, its the wooden post fixings that differ, Do what you like without falling out with your neighbour. It was rather rude of them to presume

elephantscanring · 07/06/2018 12:37

You are supposed to. Having said that, our neighbours installed a new fence between us this year and needed access to our garden to do it - I've just realised they've given us the bad side with all the posts. Cheeky!!
They could have installed it from their side and gfiven themselves the posts....

combatbarbie · 07/06/2018 12:40

It's now law it's what has historically been etiquette. If you want the good side you have the good side but like you said you'll be giving away a couple of inches

Emmasmum2013 · 07/06/2018 12:41

Is there a massive difference between the two sides? If not, I'd just put the 'nicer' side facing the neighbour. Not worth the hassle with your neighbour for the sake of a view of what essentially is just some wood.

I do think the neighbour is a CF though for making sure that you do put the panels in the right way when they're not paying for any of it.

melonscoffer · 07/06/2018 12:42

You can have fence panels facing either way.
This traditional restriction doesnt apply to panels, which slot into the middle.

Panels are a relatively new method of fencing.
This restriction apllies to overlapping wooden fencing that is attached plank by plank, piece by piece to posts that are usually wooden. Look up feather board fencing.
The posts go on your boundary.
The wooden "planks " are overlapped , nailed together and then nailed to wooden posts.
Therefore the posts had to show on your side otherwise you'd lose some of your land.

Stompythedinosaur · 07/06/2018 12:43

As long as the fence posts are on your land you can put up the fence either way round you like.

If you prefer one side then have that.

melonscoffer · 07/06/2018 12:44

It's not.about "good side ". See my post above.
There were no fence panels year ago. They didn't exist.

BadTasteFlump · 07/06/2018 12:45

I am beginning to understand where the idea came from. Wooden posts on my land, with fence hammered to them so the posts are in my garden. Yes - the 'nice' side would be outward facing then

Exactly. So for most people (with concrete fence posts) it's an out of date notion. Have the nice side your side and tell her why. BTW however enormous is your garden for the panels to cost £2500?!