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AIBU?

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Original poster

Giving the neighbour the 'nice' side of the fence

150 replies

CauliflowerBalti · 07/06/2018 12:06

I was unaware of this particular piece of crackers British social etiquette - I have just spent £2500 on fence panels for my boundary with my neighbour. The concrete posts are being installed today, and my neighbour just shouted across that she's done some research and I do know that I'm supposed to give them the 'nice' side, right?

No. No I did not know this. And it sounded like cheeky fuckery of the highest order, but it's a fucking THING. Our ridiculously courteous country really does expect people to not only fork out, but give the neighbours the best fecking view! It's replacing an old decrepit falling down wire fence. It's a SIGNIFICANT upgrade. And a heinously expensive one.

AIBU to think that some of our customs are truly baffling? And also that, while it may be a thing, it is not the kind of thing that would ask for in advance? Like, it's polite to let other people go through a door before you, but only a wanker would make a point of asking?

And no, I won't get the benefit of my neighbour on the other side extending the same bonkers courtesy to me. He can't afford a fence, nice side or otherwise. I have a falling down wall that side, unless I can find another £2500 to do his too.

HONESTLY.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 07/06/2018 12:46

My neighbour has given me the 'ugly' side of his fence - wood panels and wood posts. Perfect for me to bang in some nails and hang a string of solar lights.. Grin

Original poster
CauliflowerBalti · 07/06/2018 12:48

@BadTasteFlump - my garden is quite long, but not ridiculously so. Think typical terrace with a long garden, long.

£600 of it is labour - removing the old concrete posts (they don't have a slot for a fence panel - they have wire pinned to them) and the old gravel board boundary divide, which is cemented in for some unfathomable reason - then putting up the new fence.

The rest is panels, concrete gravel board and posts. The cheapest panels, but decent gravel boards and posts. FENCES ARE EXPENSIVE.

OP posts:
janaus · 07/06/2018 12:49

Neighbours are supposed to pay half if new fence is needed ?

HerFemaleness · 07/06/2018 12:50

When we get our new fence in it'll be nice side to the neighbours. Currently it's nice side to us. Not because I like them, rather the opposite. It's to make it as difficult as possible for their children to climb in to our garden. They do this rather a lot and they've broken some of the fence boards.

ALickyBoomBoomDown · 07/06/2018 12:50

Have the nice side and paint the 'naff' side with the most hideous looking paint you can find. Then staple a load of your plant cuttings to it. Sorted. Wink

Bee91 · 07/06/2018 12:50

Our neighbours replaced the fence, they have the "nice" side
we have this side
Can't say i'm bothered - a new fence is a new fence :) but then I didn't pay for it

Giving the neighbour the 'nice' side of the fence
Tomboytown · 07/06/2018 12:56

Do you have photos?
Isn't there different types of fences?

There's one where the fence panels slot in and the sides are identical
And then one where there is a horizontal supporting post, which could be deemed as the bad side?

There's no law that says where the good side goes.
There would be a law to say whose fence it is, so whose responsibility it is. If it's technically their fence and you're replacing it I think it would be fair to take the good side.
But honestly when it's all up you won't care

bawbles · 07/06/2018 12:58

With panels the advice is to face nice side out as then the horizontal bars are on inside rather than providing a foothold for would be intruders.

Really depends on fence height/location. Ours backs onto ndn high/thick scrubs so no benefit to facing the good side out as they can’t be seen or accessed from next door

Beautifulsunshine · 07/06/2018 12:58

We have just put new fences in, the ones that slot in. We have nice side to us as otherwise the kids / dog would climb them and escape (they are like the ones above)

BadTasteFlump · 07/06/2018 12:58

Cauli aha, sorry I was being dim.

Sooooo anyway - dare I ask what decision you've made on which side you're having? Grin

Original poster
CauliflowerBalti · 07/06/2018 12:59

@Tomboytown - see the image post above yours. It's exactly that.

OP posts:
Hissy · 07/06/2018 13:00

Because the panels slide in down a central groove in the concrete post, they can go either way

Get creative... Alternate Nice/Bad sides Grin

Mummyoflittledragon · 07/06/2018 13:03

There have been threads like this in the past. Apparently, according to posters, the good side only needs to be visible if the fence is facing a road or other publicly owned land. Therefore you can have the good side on the boundary between your property and the neighbours.

StealthNinjaMum · 07/06/2018 13:05

This is rubbish. I have the nice sides of fences in my garden. It's what the fencing company recommended and told me is standard.

The threads appear every so often and there seems to be a 50:50 split / possible regional variation in who gets the nice side.

Original poster
CauliflowerBalti · 07/06/2018 13:07

@BadTasteFlump - I'm torn between the struts being good for me to grow stuff up/hang stuff on, and feeling outraged that she even mentioned it so fuck her I'll have the other side!

I'll update...

OP posts:
Roussette · 07/06/2018 13:08

OP I honestly think you have it the wrong way round.

Our Solicitor told us, the developers told us, everyone around here knows that the good side means it's your boundary. The other side with the posts exposed means the boundary belongs to your neighbour.

I have just replaced a huge lot of fencing, it honestly cost ££££ and I have the 'good' side all the way down.

Our NDN's fence fell down in parts, we have the posts showing, it is his boundary, he had it repaired.

Original poster
CauliflowerBalti · 07/06/2018 13:10

@Roussette - I don't think I do, according to Ye Olden Days of no premade fence panels and only wooden posts. It is that custom my neighbour is drawing on.

But I like your evidence so may choose it.

OP posts:
DontThinkTwice1 · 07/06/2018 13:10

When I moved in my place the neighbours were so pleasant that I was putting a new fence up to replace the old, broken one they really didn't care who got the "good" side, so I have it 😬

PattiStanger · 07/06/2018 13:10

I had to check the date on this as there was an exactly similar thread not so long ago, I don't remember if there was an actual rule but it seems it's a common problem

sheldonesque · 07/06/2018 13:12

I paid £3000 for my fence. It was a necessity because the neighbour's dogs continually jumped over into ours to do their business and attack our old dogs.

Their kids and various partygoers trashed our garden regularly. And the fence which we had had without issue was fine until their offspring gradually ruined it. Old fences don't take kindly to young adults /20 odd year olds standing on them.

Nice high fence, all the way round and nice side to ours. All the way round. The posts are on our land. Other neighbours were thrilled to just have a new smart fence. You can guess who was unhappy.

I gave no fooks.

FizzyGreenWater · 07/06/2018 13:13

If it helps look at it this way - the posts side is the 'inside' of the fence. The interior. You're inside your fence so you see the interior. You put your own fence up facing outwards.

You don't HAVE to do it of course!

You could make sad face at her and say oh fine but you DO know I plan to paint this side of the panels HOT HOT PINK? So if you are ok with that we will go ahead? (And then start dancing on the spot singing 'hot hot pink, hot hot pink, I really think, you're gonna LOVE THIS PINK')

Don't do the last bit.

ShotsFired · 07/06/2018 13:14

As I sit here I can see the fence at the end of my garden, which runs along the side of a house in a totally different road. As far as I know it is mine to repair, yet a few years ago my neighbour decided to replace at her own cost! Confused I don't know her, have never spoken to her, I just saw some people replacing it one day.

I now have a lovely new fence with two vertical rails going up it (like pic) - I assume this is the "bad side"? I think I actually prefer it to just a wide expanse of shiplap boards.

Also when I paint it I know some leaks over the overlaps onto her side, which presumably looks shit for her?

Giving the neighbour the 'nice' side of the fence
brizzledrizzle · 07/06/2018 13:17

Who really cares about this stuff? It's a fence! Just grow stuff up it.
We have the 'ugly' side of the fence but I can hardly see it - we've got all kinds of stuff growing along that is half way up the fence and barely give it a thought anyway.

UrgentScurryfunge · 07/06/2018 13:18

Our deeds state 50:50 ownership Confused Fortunately all 4 neighbours that we have had to deal with over time have been pleasant over replacement works around our whole plot over time.

We have the "good side" at the back of our garden (neighbour's side) and the two bads, but by the time you get some trellis on them it makes minimal difference, and it gives more space for the clematis etc to grow on it.

MyAuntyBadger · 07/06/2018 13:18

I haven't read the whole thread, so sorry if I'm repeating someone else. If it's your boundary, the panels and posts go on your side as a form of defence. If panels and posts were on the outside of your boundary (particularly if it is public/council ground like a path or park) it would be easy to climb, so much less secure. When I am viewing a property I know who owns which boundary by the position of the posts.