Giving the neighbour the 'nice' side of the fence

[CauliflowerBalti]

I was unaware of this particular piece of crackers British social etiquette - I have just spent £2500 on fence panels for my boundary with my neighbour. The concrete posts are being installed today, and my neighbour just shouted across that she's done some research and I do know that I'm supposed to give them the 'nice' side, right?

No. No I did not know this. And it sounded like cheeky fuckery of the highest order, but it's a fucking THING. Our ridiculously courteous country really does expect people to not only fork out, but give the neighbours the best fecking view! It's replacing an old decrepit falling down wire fence. It's a SIGNIFICANT upgrade. And a heinously expensive one.

AIBU to think that some of our customs are truly baffling? And also that, while it may be a thing, it is not the kind of thing that would ask for in advance? Like, it's polite to let other people go through a door before you, but only a wanker would make a point of asking?

And no, I won't get the benefit of my neighbour on the other side extending the same bonkers courtesy to me. He can't afford a fence, nice side or otherwise. I have a falling down wall that side, unless I can find another £2500 to do his too.

HONESTLY.

It's because the nice side is the outside of the fence so points outwards away from your garden. You should have the nice side of your neighbour on the other side's fence

You sound pretty awful tbh. Neighbours get nice side for security, to avoid stealing any of their garden and so you can maintain it. You get the good side from your other neighbours. It's not rocket science.

Looking down a garden from the house. The left hand fence is your responsibility.
It's about ownership of boundaries.
Doesn't apply so much these days.
Won't apply to slot in fence panels.

Our neighbours replaced the fencing between ourselves and them 3 weeks ago. They gave us the 'ugly' side. I hadn't heard of this issue then but even I had I would not expect them to give us the nice side!

We were just grateful to have the old fence, which was falling down, replaced by a new one!

Plus, we have given him some money towards the fencing, which he didn't ask for.

To be honest I would just slot them in nice side facing you. I agree with you, it's ridiculous.

Can you alternate the panels? That's pretty typical of what's done here.

Sorry to hijack thread but my ndn replaces their fence recently. I didn’t know about the struts at the time. They’ve put the ugly side facing my garden.

So I now have 2 ugly side fences! The one I own and the new one that ndn put in.

Is this a problem for me? I’m not overly concerned about aesthetics! I’m just glad the old falling down shit fence has gone!

Seriously? You can't paint your neighbour's fence?!

I've painted both the fences erected in our garden since they were both untreated orange wood. If we hadn't painted / protected them, they would have split by now. I assumed that was the etiquette- though in retrospect the brown Cuprinol we used did drop through to what I later found out was their white painted side... 😳

paid £3000 for my fence. It was a necessity because the neighbour's dogs continually jumped over into ours to do their business and attack our old dogs. Their kids and various partygoers trashed our garden regularly. And the fence which we had had without issue was fine until their offspring gradually ruined it. Old fences don't take kindly to young adults /20 odd year olds standing on them

Yeah, but you put the side that's climable in their garden

Honestly I don't get all this nonsense. It's a fence. It looks like a fence on either side. Is there a pretty side If anything it looks backwards like that.

*drip

Looking down the back garden from our house, the right side is ours. Our neighbour on the other side just replaced his fence and gave us the "bad" side, with horizontal bars, and had given us permission to paint it. We are going to replace the back and side with the same type of panel, with the bars facing in, so we have a consistent look all around the garden. This means our neighbours on the other side get our "good" side and I'm ok with that. By the sound of things our achievement of garden-related peace and harmony makes us quite unusual.

Shhhhhh. We gave our neighbours the ugly side.

All of everything is on my boundary. Not one bit of my fence is on their land, or hovers over their land. Whichever way the panels go, they are entirely solely and all mine.

I am now FREAKING OUT at the possibility that the increased shade provided by my fence will cause them angst. It's a wire fence right now. No shade.

When I moved in my garden was mostly bare earth, and it stayed like that for ages. When it rained, it soaked all the rain up - plus run off, as live on a hill. My garden was like Paschendale.

When I could afford it, I put a couple of patio areas in then had turf put in. It doesn't absorb the run off as well any more, so the water running down the hill now makes it to my neighbour's garden too.

She went FUCKING BALLISTIC. Her lawn is all boggy now I have had a lawn put in. They can't enjoy it as frequently. Could I please reconsider my lawn - they assumed I would have gravel?

Like I'm supposed to maintain my garden as some kind of gravel trap to protect hers.

I suggested she put gravel along her border, to absorb some of the run off. She said she shouldn't have to give up any of her lawn - I should put the gravel on my side.

I said I do. I have a gravel border along the boundary with the neighbour uphill, for this very reason. She said there's no reason not to have another then.

LADY I CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT THE RAIN AND THE WATER TABLE. I can see that it must be annoying, for the conditions in your garden to change. But to be actively making it my problem to solve... Sheesh.

If I put the fence panels the 'wrong' way, etiquette-wise, I will know about it.

I really am going to paint each panel a different colour.

You don’t sound awful. You sound great. I think we would get on really well IRL.

The way your posts are it’s only cosmetic and security...both your decision. I would normally have put them ‘wrong side’ facing us for a little added security, but given her comment, I’d be putting them ‘nice side’ facing us. Cheeky bitch.

wow how long have you been neighbors?

It's meant to be wrong side in for security and maintainance but otherwise I wouldn't care. My concern in this is that you might end up unable to sell the house without declaring a dispute if you antagonise her further.

We put a new fence up as the existing one was falling down and we have the good side. Our neighbours outright refused to admit it was their responsibility, they had planted a hedge and said that was their boundary so we bought and paid for it and built it to suit us. Now they’ve chopped down their hedge as the fence looks so much better. I’d put it in however suits you as it sounds like whatever you do, she’ll find something to complain about.

Wow! I never knew this was a thing!!

I'm disappointed to see that I also have the ugly side of the fence 🙄 It was up when I moved in and our new next door neighbour moved in at the weekend so neither of us paid for it. I may switch them so I get the pretty side and see if he notices!

Your neighbour sounds a twat, and quite frankly she has no say whatsoever in what you put in your garden. Next she'll be telling you what colour to paint your front door and where you should place your living room furniture!

ceirrno you only have to declare disputes if they're legal ones, ie with solicitors or councils involved. There won't be any legal dispute because op hasn't done anything wrong, merely put a fence up on her own property.

We did put the wrong side on our side, just because the neighbors kids were climbing over our fence for their balls and I didn't want to give them a leg up to do that. It did make it easier to put up trellis though.

We have the same fence as you and have put it with the nice side facing us. I did say to dh I think we are meant to give the neighbour the nice side, but we weren't sure. We get on with our neighbour, but he did want us to put in like for like panels with regards to height but the previous panels were 6ft + tall and blocked all the light and our new ones are 5ft and are just right.

I was going to say just let her have the nice side, but then I read your post about the lawn and I now think you have a potential cf neighbour in the making. Just give her the not so nice side and if she complains say that particular law was to do with the old style of fence installation.

It is a custom, I was appalled to hear it too. We just put up a new fence and the nice side is looking out. A few years ago different property same thing, the guys putting up the fences just gave me a look to say "you ARE going to do the right thing here, aren't you?" and i felt I had no choice! But it isn't so bad. I am used to it now.

Can someone post photos to show the difference please?

I've recently had new fencing, I kept the good side and neighbours can have the side with the batons. If I'm paying £2k then I get what I want!!