Ban iPads & Tablets For Children

[londonmummyof1]

Is it just me, or does the iPad generation bother anyone else?

We went on a family holiday to Spain with my husband and almost 3 year old daughter, and at breakfast, lunch and dinner it’s the same sight - parents bringing out iPads for their preschool children to sit and watch - while eating!?! This is something I have never seen before and I absolutely do not agree with. I think seeing the scale of the problem during this one holiday shows what a problem this is. The thing is, the children aren’t even given the choice of asking for the iPad or to watch a show, it’s just slapped down in front of them and then they are glued. No interaction, just plugged into this simulated world, at the prime time in their life they are developing their language, speech, behaviour and personality - under the age of 5.

We did not bring an iPad for our child on holiday because we wanted to play in the swimming/splash pool, go to the beach etc and we spent such quality time with our child with memories we will keep forever.

This did not happen 20 or even 10 years ago - what did parents do with their children then? God forbid did they COMMUNICATE with their children at the dinner table?

What is happening to this world? Why not have a conversation with your child or bring a sticker book or story book for them to look at if feeding time is difficult. Every parent has been there with challenging mealtimes, but lugging the iPad around during 3 mealtimes, that’s a minimum of 3 hours your child is in a zombie state of mind, you’re starving them of developing their speech and ability to play by themselves and entertain themselves through play.

Do parents understand that too much screen time is extremely damaging to young children and can pave the way to obesity and development issues later in life?

I feel so passionate about this topic, as I’ve even seen some parents putting their children in pushchairs by the swimming pools glued to an iPad, when they could be swimming and having fun with their parents or siblings.

Parenting can be really tough, but somehow I think government intervention is required as this is such a vicious cycle, what future are we preparing our children for???

Simple alternatives to iPad/Tablet entertainment:

Play doh
Stickers
Books
Playing cards
Colouring books
Drawing

Absolutely BAN iPads & Tablets for children.

I can't stand judgemental people who think they know it all because they have one NT toddler. I bet you are equally judgemental about older children in buggies, who can't feed themselves, or in nappies or in any way different from your perfect child. You sound the type.
Some children use ipads to communicate or cope with a world they find distressing but you want to remove that from them.

Ds was giving his iPad by a wonderful charity. With it we can actually get out the house some days.

It is easy to judge what your not having to live every day.

If we're out for meals we leave it until my DD starts getting too fidgety then we will give her a phone. It means the rare occasion we actually go out, we can eat our meal without chasing a toddler around a restaurant or dealing with a meltdown because she's bored.

What I would have given for some portable entertainment when I was a kid having to deal with sitting still with adults!

If you choose not to, that's fine but don't look down your nose at others.

You’d have your child playing with Play doh at the dinner table instead? That’s f*cking gross.

I do agree in a lot of circumstances. We don’t allow electronics at the table in a restaurant - I have an almost 2 and almost 4 year old. They play with toys or colour or whatever. They do often have a bit of time with the iPad in the day at some point just to help them sit still for a few minutes!

I know parents that leave them out for their dc’s in the morning so they can sit and watch it while the parents lie-in. I find that a bit sad. Their children sleep well and are a bit older but still primary age and yet they still get themselves up, the older one makes breakfast and they both sit on their iPads for over an hour.

I agree OP. My SIL is a teacher and had a CPD session where they were told that children as young as actual babies are missing developmental markers because they are getting less face to face interaction and more screen time.

It's never going to do a child harm to be given an iPad now and then to keep them occupied but anyone suggesting it's fine at every mealtime is clearly deluding themselves. How is a child who is glued to an iPad for three meals a day learning how to interact and behave at the table? How are they developing their manners and their speech and their interactions with others?

iPads are like anything - fine when moderated and managed. But for a lot of kids their usage clearly isn't moderated and it's really sad.

All I know is my son aged 2 knew the entire alphabet thanks to YouTube Kids. Not just by rote, he knew all the different letters individually and their sounds. I am taking no credit for that!

I do agree about the antisocial side, and obviously I talk and play with my kids way more than not. But phones have saved the day a fair few times and if you use them in the right way they’re an amazing learning tool! And in this day and age no I certainly do not think they should be banned.

(This obviously only applies to neurotypical children who don't use an iPad for communication - I get that for some kids it's a necessity for reasons of speech etc. But that's clearly not true of the majority)

I genuinely don't see the difference between a tablet and a sticker book/crayons/whatever. My 4yo is just as likely to talk to me about the item he built in a Lego game as a picture he has drawn. He does get absorbed by watching videos but I grew up eating tv in front of the tv.

Personally, I wouldn't give him a tablet at meal times, unless unusual circumstances (holiday, maybe). I wouldn't judge it though.

londonmummyof1
I really wanted an unbiased opinion as to whether I am being unreasonable,

By not letting your OWN child use one you're completely reasonable.

By trying to police other peoples usage, and lives and being a sanctomummy of one small child, totally unreasonable.

Seriously, get over yourself. Come back when you understand how dynamics change with older kids, disabled kids, multiple kids.

And coincidentally MOST restaurants would be distinctly unimpressed at playdough.

And MOST parents do the activities you list when portraying yourself as super mum.

You may struggle when your dc go to school - all reading books, maths work? Times tables practice and spelling lists are on apps.
Need a tablet to do homework.

Ban that rock n roll too. Ruining their minds. And Dungeons and Dragons is the work of Satan. We should ban Super Mario as it’s giving kids arthritis.

Ban books too. Girls shouldn’t be reading, they’ll never find a man.

Honestly, do you not realise how cliched and predictable this reactionary “ban the new thing that wasn’t around when I was a child” nonsense is?

Meh. You would have judged the living daylights out of me back when my DS was a toddler and we gave him his iPad in restaurants or on long journeys to save our sanity. He was wildly active and mentally curious. He was tantrum-prone and very, very loud, especially in restaurants. Most of the time we avoided eating out at all because of it but when we had to, the iPad was mandatory if we wanted to eat and not disturb everyone.

Fast forward to now and he is very bright 6-year old, reading and maths skills ahead of his age, will happily just sit and read a book or do word search and crossword puzzles in restaurants and we can take him anywhere. He's very well-behaved. With my DD, she was calmer and has had the iPad much less than DS did at her age (3) but I see no difference in her behavior as a result. She just has a naturally calmer temperament and has her brother to entertain her.

So I think iPads have their purpose and can be educational and fun for kids and give parents a much-needed break. If they're used to excess at every single meal and social occasion then, yes, that is sad to see but look around you, adults are all glued to their own screens so it's not just children or parents that are the problem. I would say screen addiction is a bigger problem for adults than it is for kids.

We were on holiday recently and we used the ipad twice at lunchtime with DD (almost 2 years old). I felt really guilty about it but didn't know what else to do. Both were at restaurants where there was no high chair, so we had her on our laps. We didn't choose the restaurants, on holiday with ILs. If on out own would generally just avoid situations like this. But after trying various things like stickers/ crayons, she just wants to grab at knives, forks, glasses on the table. Normally one of us would have taken her outside after she'd eaten (and we would eat in turns) but there was torrential rain outside (happy holidays to us!). So, we used the ipad...

I do think you're being a bit unfair as children have can have very different personalities. My DD will maybe sit nicely for 5-10 minutes. My nephew, who is only a couple of months younger than DD will happily sit for smiling for 45 minutes! Maybe I'm doing something terribly wrong..

Oh I remember the sticker book days! I think that just producing a tablet as soon as you sit down is probably not optimal parenting and they should go away when food comes but we have all been in places where the service is a bit slow and an ipad/ tablet/ sticker book/ colouring book/ playdoh is a way of making the wait more bearable for everyone around.

I have changed my mind somewhat over the years. Dd1 had barely been on a computer ten years ago too worried she might break it and then she was rated at pre school as below her targets for computer use. It is a part of their lives and whilst we monitor the time and content of their use it is not realistic to restrict access completely.

Mine would eat or rip up the first 5 things on your list and since he struggles to hold a pencil drawing isn't a relaxing activity either. He can't use an ipad so 'entertains' himself by being loud and banging things combined with the odd bit of shrieking but I bet you are disapproving of that too.

I remember going out with a friend (former!) and her toddler. She was anti technology but her son spent the time sticking stickers to the table, screaming and running around. The other children in the party may have used varying levels of technology (while waiting for food) but they also managed to enjoy the meal without being disruptive!

Not using technology certainly isn’t an indicator of superior parenting! (Neither is using it, parents generally do what is needed to meet the needs of their children in that setting)

Very judgemental op, something I'm used to. Ds constantly has his ipad as he is non verbal and uses it to communicate with us. He has no games on it, communication program only. IPad's have more than one use!

We don't own an i anything but am very aware technology is the future for DD4 and i will need to invest eventually (she is 4). I would be cat's bottoming at a baby dumped in a pushchair with a device (or device free) but DD can happily lose herself in LOL Doll youtube stories for an hour while i do some exercise and physio so am all for a bit of screen time!

Wow OP! I had never thought of colouring or stickers, never mind involving DC with kitchen tasks - mashing indeed!

iPads = wonderful inventions, very much used in the educational world (I work in it) and a great resource for parents who may want to enjoy a few minutes peace over dinner while on holiday.

Completely agree that over use is not on. Just like overusing anything isn’t a good idea. I’d like to think most parents will set those limits and hey, if some have overused them on holiday at dinner time when DC are tired at the end of the day then is it really the end of the world?? I’m quite sure those same parents are doing all the stuff you’re doing too. Being a parent to one small toddler is really VERY different to having multiple children. Try it and report back on your play-doh, mashing, talking techniques then!

I agree mostly op.

We've never used I pads or phones in restaurants, screens at a table are generally very poor manners imo (and this rule applies to dh and me too, mobiles are not answered/looked at during meals, at home or elsewhere).

We take I pads on holiday, to break up travel time occasionally...but even then I make the dc play eye spy or similar first, then an hour iPad.

Can't fathom giving a kid an I pad in front of a paddling pool tbh.

Play doh at a restaurant! Vvv messy and not right. Playing cards requires space. Stickers...can see the table etc becoming a sticker board. Colouring books are best in your list. I agree with you to some extent but better a quiet entertained child than one running around the restaurant. Live and let live. Parents make their own choices on what works best for them.

I don’t want to sound rude, but I was a much ‘better’ parent when I only had one toddler. We’d make pizza from scratch and everything, and before I went back to work our days involved lots of play dough etc and not so much screen time. Now I have two dc, a bit of screen time is bloody necessary otherwise I’d live in a shit tip with no meals prepared rocking in a corner. So many things I do now that I would have been really judgy about in my first two years of parenting. I’m not saying constant iPads are great but not everyone is being a lazy, feckless parent. I also think our children do need a little of these things as part of ict skills etc, which are more necessary now schools will use technology to assist learning from a young age too.

Like pps I do think you have some valid points but there are a lot of parents trying their best to raise their own kids and it’s hard. Sometimes we need a break too.

I dont think theybshpuld be banned, but what I don't like is children on ipads when your put for dinner, yes it keeps them quite and distracted but I think it's important to teach them how to behave while out in public, not stick them on a screen. Also my kids aren't allowed them when out at dinner and I always get, "Well why has that little girl/boy got one".

Adults out for meals in restaurants glued to their own screens and not talking to each other annoys me more. I think part of it is that it’s newish to our generation as we didn’t grow up with it. I’d much rather my dc read a book than looked at an iPad but I think some of that is me being old fashioned (and not having a clue about a lot of new technology).