Ban iPads & Tablets For Children

[londonmummyof1]

Is it just me, or does the iPad generation bother anyone else?

We went on a family holiday to Spain with my husband and almost 3 year old daughter, and at breakfast, lunch and dinner it’s the same sight - parents bringing out iPads for their preschool children to sit and watch - while eating!?! This is something I have never seen before and I absolutely do not agree with. I think seeing the scale of the problem during this one holiday shows what a problem this is. The thing is, the children aren’t even given the choice of asking for the iPad or to watch a show, it’s just slapped down in front of them and then they are glued. No interaction, just plugged into this simulated world, at the prime time in their life they are developing their language, speech, behaviour and personality - under the age of 5.

We did not bring an iPad for our child on holiday because we wanted to play in the swimming/splash pool, go to the beach etc and we spent such quality time with our child with memories we will keep forever.

This did not happen 20 or even 10 years ago - what did parents do with their children then? God forbid did they COMMUNICATE with their children at the dinner table?

What is happening to this world? Why not have a conversation with your child or bring a sticker book or story book for them to look at if feeding time is difficult. Every parent has been there with challenging mealtimes, but lugging the iPad around during 3 mealtimes, that’s a minimum of 3 hours your child is in a zombie state of mind, you’re starving them of developing their speech and ability to play by themselves and entertain themselves through play.

Do parents understand that too much screen time is extremely damaging to young children and can pave the way to obesity and development issues later in life?

I feel so passionate about this topic, as I’ve even seen some parents putting their children in pushchairs by the swimming pools glued to an iPad, when they could be swimming and having fun with their parents or siblings.

Parenting can be really tough, but somehow I think government intervention is required as this is such a vicious cycle, what future are we preparing our children for???

Simple alternatives to iPad/Tablet entertainment:

Play doh
Stickers
Books
Playing cards
Colouring books
Drawing

Absolutely BAN iPads & Tablets for children.

I'm about to go on a 17 hour flight with a 1 and 3 year old. Interested to hear what your non-iPad/screen time suggestions are for keeping my kids quiet on that journey and not annoying other passengers?

Maybe I'm a bad mum then as my DS's don't have an IPad or tablet!

They've been a life saver on long car rides or when dd starts to get bored during meals out or drs waiting rooms. They are a brilliant way for children to access information, interactive in a way that other media isn't it.
Banning them would be silly.

I'd avoid screen time during meals but really your post is quite judgy - the kids you saw had probably been playing in the sun all day. 30 mins or even an hour of cartoons isn't going to damage them! It's a break for the parents as well and possibly 'holiday rules', allowing the parents a chill and drink in the restaurant. I always think kids TV these days is v educational too...

love this idea that previous generations communicated with their children during meals out.

OP is possibly not of the same generation as me, the generation that was abandoned with other kids (happily!) in a pub beer garden with lemonade and a packet of crisps, because we weren’t allowed inside.

Why is OK to entertain my child with a colouring book (she hates colouring) and not with an iPad - where she watches stories that spark her imagination which she incorporates in her games with others?

One big plus for our iPad so far (among many) my daughter has become a super presenter - confident and engaging with class projects - and I think that’s largely due to watching YouTuber! They’ve made it “normal” for her to present - and shown her that it’s fun not scary, and how important it is to engage your audience. I think that’s really going to help her in the workplace.

Three cheers for iPad / internet from me!

And as for a buggy by the pool - maybe the parents just wanted a quick read/swim with the child safely contained, possibly after hours in the pool and the child getting cold/tired? Don't judge.

While cooking, she has a little children’s stool from Ikea and watches me cook and I let her wash vegetables etc or help with some tasks like mashing if we have mashed potatoes for examples

One of my twins would have loved that and would have happily followed all my instructions. The other would have hated not being able to do exactly what she wanted and would soon have wandered off to go and do something dangerous in another room. Everyone's family setup is different and we all have different experiences but if you have one biddable 3yo child you're in a particularly bad place to be able to imagine what other parents manage on a daily basis never mind tell them how to do it better.

Oh and though you’d judge me for my 9yo using an iPad during a meal sometimes (she’s bored, I’ve already chatted to her loads, I want some adult conversation) - you won’t know that in 9 years, she’s only ever watched occasional films, never regular TV. We didn’t even have a TV until she was 6. Can’t remember the last time we turned it on.

OP, have you had zero TV screen time for your 3yo like I had?

Stick that in your judgmental pipe

I'm about to go on a 17 hour flight with a 1 and 3 year old. Interested to hear what your non-iPad/screen time suggestions are for keeping my kids quiet on that journey and not annoying other passengers?

A sticker book and some play doh. You're welcome

Oh op, so easy to be the best parent in the world when you have one compliant 2 year old. Good luck if you have another one and you have 2 children standing on stools 'helping' you cook or another child isn't quite so happy to engage with you at the dinner table.

Technology is the way of the world now, not allowing tablets in their world is doing them a bit of a disservice imo. There's a balance to be had, and maybe screen times at meal times so children aren't running around disturbing everyone is part of that balance.

god bless you OP - you have one child and two parents to give her 1-1 attention at all times - do come back if that ever changes and lecture everyone again!

You need to walk a mile in other peoples shoes op before you judge them.

2 adults parenting one nt toddler is easy as pie, we all of us, obviously, did all the things you list.

Just wait till you have older children talking absolute drivel.

Unclench and let other parents parent their own children. The vast majority are doing a wonderful job. (Yes, some overuse iPads, but these are the same parents who decades ago would have been ignoring their children).

Accept the world is changing, technology will be crucial for your child.

Haven’t RTFT but I can see both sides. What I hate about using iPads is how few people use headphones with them, by all means let your kids use them if you want but please don’t disturb my meal with the tinny noise of Peppa Pig etc.

I’m partly with you OP. We use iPad occasionally for v long 6hour plus journeys but I would never bring it out at a meal. Dc have a limited time per day with it and not every day.

The meal time iPad or phone thing really annoys me and yes I judge, kids need to learn how to behave at meal times and colouring or books etc are ok.
I love tech and dp is involved in the gaming industry however it is easy to get addicted as we’ve seen with some friends. Kids are at a stage of socialisation and need to see all the alternatives. Not be shoved in front of a screen at mealtimes.

All things in moderation in my opinion.

I know plenty of parent who rely on iPads to keep their kids "quiet" whilst they do whatever. My ex said he "needed" his kids to have screen time so he could work from home. His 5 year old daughter used to come in at 6am demanding his phone do she could watch YouTube. Drove me nuts. Constant arguments over time on their devices, broken phones because they didn't look after them. No way my kids are allowed my phone. It makes me wonder how some parents would have coped before these were around. My 11 and 9 year old are allowed an hour a day on their tablets. Luckily they prefer to be outside, reading or engaged in imaginative play or games. But then I've not raised them to be stuck to a screen.

YANBU OP. We don’t own an iPad and don’t want one having seen how addictive they are. DH and I have phones but DTs are not allowed near them. We manage to entertain them perfectly well with other things.

Quite a few posters on here are saying they wouldn't use ipads for a meal out. Ironically, that is the one time I would use them. Because:

1. A meal out often follows a day out, I've been interacting all day, time for a break
2. No disturbing of anyone else in the restaurant (assuming headphones), especially with performance parenting which is deeply irritating and one assumes the op excels at.

Next time you go to a restaurant, assume the kid on the iPad on the next table only has that iPad once a week in a restaurant. It'll make you happier.

"But then I've not raised them to be stuck to a screen."

You also luckily have children with the ability to read and play imaginatively.

I do generally agree with what you are saying OP. my son had a girlfriend and when they were together they didn't really talk much yet when they were apart she'd text him like mad! It seems odd to me that their only method of communication seems to be via a gadget! They ended up splitting up because of all the misinterpretations and mind games that seemed to play out via text, which I'm sure could have been avoided if they just spoke to each other. As for iPads or any device, they're an amazing invention but have to be used appropriately. I remember my parents having the same conversations about the television!

I think its about balance. My ds 6 has a tablet and at times its been a great help eg waiting on his dad at a 3hr hospital appointment, long flights etc

He plays in it first thing in the morning while getting ready for school it keeps him entertained while I'm getting bits and pieces organised. After school he goes out with his friends. He doesn't use it every morning and sometimes he might use it for a while after school. Sometimes the battery dies on it and its days later before he even asks for it.

Its all about blanace and i don't judge any parent for the amount of time their child uses one. You're only seeing a snap shot of that families life

I'm a little bit with the op here. Maybe because my kids are teenagers and they hadn't invented iPad and smartphones when they were toddlers.
I've never allowed tablets, books etc at the table when eating. Even now, with teenagers that spend a lot of time on different devices, dinner time is the one time of day when we sit round the table as a family and chat.
When they were little, if we went out to a pub/ restaurant, I did bring things to do while waiting for the food, but put it away when the food arrived. Usually drawing or colouring or nought and crosses/hangman/ Chinese boxes. Also played a lot of games of 'who am I' /20 questions.

You do realise you don’t have to be a purist don’t you and that you can do more than one thing with your children?

The attacks on OP make me think that she's certainly touched a nerve for lots of people here.

Maybe you're being so combative because, whilst you say it's 'all in moderation', you know deep-down that you've been using screens to keep your children quiet more than you ought to.

Some parents saying they can read and colour at dinner table. You can do that on the iPad .

Or we're expressing our opinion because the OP has basically told us we're shit parents and she is soooooo amazing because she spends time with her kids and we obviously don't

She is getting "attacks" because she is ignorant and no my son doesn't use an ipad at all.