DD wants to move university for the second time?!?!

[Bonnici]

DD went to Kings in London and disliked it, she dropped out after freshers and reapplied to universities and took a gap year.

Then she got into Cambridge, which we were all delighted as it was what she always wanted. She's just finished her first year there but now has dropped a bombshell.

She's applied for a transfer to UCL and has been accepted. She wants to go into second year there.

What the fuck do we say? I want her to feel supported but she just needs to get on with it. Plus UCL will take a hit for her employability?

You sound like a huge snob.

Let her go for it. Moving from one excellent uni to another.

What subject is she studying?

Depends why she wants to go. Is it a better course? Why doesn’t she like Cambridge?

Perhaps university isn’t for her?

There isn't much you can say - it's her decision and she sounds perfectly capable of deciding what she wants.

Having said that...I would be frustrated too.

DH changed and went to 3. Coventry, then Portsmouth, then Cardiff. Did him no harm.

UCL is an excellent university. You can’t really say anything, just support her.

If you can afford it and your dd's mental state is in any way fragile just go with the flow.

It doesn't matter for now about her employability. That will make for an interesting talk point if it came up.

It's tough enough between leaving home/becoming independent so all you can do is be supportive until she finds her feet.

And if she goes from one job to another later on, what harm is there in that? Very few employers are cradle to the grave types these days.

You sound like a huge snob.

^Er no the OP doesn’t.

Blimey! To get into Cambridge after dropping out of another uni is amazing! And then to get into Ucl after having dropped out of 2 Uni's is fatastic!!! She must have something v desirable! Is she super talented in her area? I am slightly jealous of your clearly amazing DD!!! That aside, why was Kings not right for her? And why is Cambridge not working out?

What course is she on? UCL is more employable than Cambridge on some.
She sounds like she's not settling? Is she struggling to make friends? Maybe it's the subject or is she changing that too?

UCL is ranked 16th in the world and fourth in the UK (it was ahead of Cambridge). And its a much better college than Kings 🤣

She’s not repeating a year, does it really make much difference to you whether she moves?

I had a friend at uni who repeated third year and then dropped out just before finals so after 4 years of uni she only had a diploma (equivalent of 2 year study). There were extenuating circumstances but not the sort of thing she would want to discuss in job interviews.

Your DD took a gap year and is now changing unis but will still only be there for three years (or however long is normal for her course), so it shouldn’t put her at a disadvantage.

It's not your decision. It won't even push back her graduation. Just support her.

Is she changing her degree subject, or is she sticking with the same subject but just switching which university provides the tuition?

I'd be wary about starting three different degree topics but if this move means that her year at Cambridge still counts just like a first year at UCL on her new course would have done, then it might be best just to let her get on with it. If you are worried about losing the Oxbridge name, she could always still put it on her CV to explain how she moved about. :-)

Will she have somewhere to live and can you afford it?
Has she actually researched where she wants to be and what she wants to study?

What didn't she like about Kings? I would have thought UCL would be fairly similar. UCL is a top uni but not quite on par with Cambridge (I say this as a UCL grad!) but end of the day it's her choice.

OP are you still there? Any more info you can give on the subject and reasons for moving?

Really? How wonderful. She got into KCL, then after dropping out got into Cambridge and now has been accepted for a 2nd year transfer to UCL. Incredibly remarkable!

Yes, what was wrong with kings ?

Lady out of interest, which ranking places UCL ahead of Cambridge?

OP, Cambridge can be very intense. It’s a small place and many people find it suffocating. No shame in any of that and as PP have said, UCL is world-class and ahead of Cambridge for some subjects.

Nevertheless, a third university in as many years is very unusual. Do you have any concerns about her emotional or mental health? Does she have close friends? Are you supporting her financially?

what was wrong with kings? and what was wrong with cambridge? and how will that be different at ucl?

The title sounds worse than it is, she’s not dropping out again just continuing her education somewhere else. She just needs to get on with it (which she sounds like she’s doing).
If anything, it could be a talking point in interviews if asked about decision making - she had the courage to say Cambridge wasn’t for her because of xxx and she carried on studying at UCL.

UCL will take a hit for her employability

Are you joking?

What are her reasons OP?

I am not a snob thank you, I went to an ex-poly.

She studies Classics but tried Philosophy at Kings and wants to do Classics at UCL. She's a bright girl yes, but it's more upheaval.

It is true that she wouldn't graduate any later. It's just that London rent would be so expensive but she has friends to share with. Part of her reasoning that she left Kings was the cost. Originally she found it very anti-social.

Now she finds Cambridge too pressured and small. I'm trying to convince her that once she graduates she'll hopefully be able to move to London and get a job.