DD wants to move university for the second time?!?!

[Bonnici]

DD went to Kings in London and disliked it, she dropped out after freshers and reapplied to universities and took a gap year.

Then she got into Cambridge, which we were all delighted as it was what she always wanted. She's just finished her first year there but now has dropped a bombshell.

She's applied for a transfer to UCL and has been accepted. She wants to go into second year there.

What the fuck do we say? I want her to feel supported but she just needs to get on with it. Plus UCL will take a hit for her employability?

DS2 is at Cambridge and says if he had his time again he would ot go there. He likes it academically but hates living in a tourist attraction, the other igstupid rules and a lot of the other students.

Are you funding her accommodation next year? If so, I might be a bit irritated, as it can be costly to get out of contracts otherwise I think it’s completely up to your daughter. She obviously isn’t daft so I think she can decide for herself.

(However, I’d be secretly a bit bummed out because Cambridge is the bees knees and I am in awe of the place. 😂)

@bonnici Stealth brag of the day. Well done!

She'll be very employable if she gets a good grade. Sometimes people mistakenly think that if students do things like Philosophy or Classics they won't be employable, but a lot of employers like very clever people who do unusual subjects, ideally getting a first. I would let her move to UCL, if she really doesn't like Cambridge. UCL is a very good uni.

Is she genuinely bad with pressure or has she just got itchy feet?

I totally understand her view of Cambridge... Is a very unique environment, and if she already has people to stay with at UCL I'd go for it

However, I’d be secretly a bit bummed out because Cambridge is the bees knees and I am in awe of the place

It’s basically full of pissed Sloanes. And it is very small.

I’d be concerned too, and worried that she will quit again if UCL isn’t ‘perfect’ for her. And I think you do have a say if you are paying for much of her fees / costs.

UCL is very prestigious, but socially can be a bit marmite - lots of students who aren’t around at weekends, lots of international students who hang out with their own compatriots.

She should be aware that UCL has recently massively expanded and that has had an impact on course quality. I did an MA there recently and there were real problems with basics like class sizes eg not enough chairs in the rooms as they'd just taken as many students as they could to make the uni extra cash. Course quality - the amount of interaction with academic staff etc all fell.

UCL students have been busy protesting the cost and quality of student accommodation.

Having been to both Oxford as an undergraduate (not the same as Cambridge but similar) and UCL, I'd definitely not pick UCL to do an undergraduate degree. Oxbridge is incomparably better.

IMO this could raise questions for employers about her resilience and willingness to push through difficult times. It's not about Cambridge vs. UCL but it shows a lack of sticking with things to change twice. Some employers might be about leaving Cambridge, especially since she started in London, changed and is now coming back to London. Why does she think UCL will be better than Kings for sociability?

Not an insurmountable problem with employers but likely to be a question.

Or rather, I might pick UCL, but if I had Cambridge as an option, there is no contest.

She should raise her concerns about the work being too hard with academic tutors at her college.

"It’s basically full of pissed Sloanes."

S’true.

Cambridge isn't full of pissed Sloane's. Most people are state educated. It is very pressurised and academic and if your DD doesn't feel it's her place then it's probably best she moves. The pressure will increase in the next two years at Cambridge. UCL is excellent but there will be pressure there as well.

It has the second lowest state school intake other than private and specialist unis. Oxford being the lowest.

And it has a higher state school intake now than when I was there.

Has she considered other strategies which could broaden her horizons without switching again? Is she on the three or four year Classics course? If she changed tripos to MML, or joint honours Classics with MML, she’d get a year abroad (although of course this adds a year if she isn’t already on a four year course).

I would share your concerns; the grass isn’t always greener. I was at Oxford, so although not quite as small and insular as Cambridge, I understand what she probably dislikes about the place. Nevertheless I knew a lot of people who found ways to cope. Some people disappeared to London on the Megabus every weekend to see and stay with friends, for example. Cambridge terms are super short, less than half of the year in total, so she could conceivably find internships, volunteering, or vacation work to scratch the London itch before she graduates.

I don't think she would need to put her week at King's on any future application forms/cv - she could just say (truthfully) that she took a gap year and swapped courses after her first year at Cambridge as it wasn't right for her. No particular drama there. The important thing is that she sticks with UCL and finishes her degree. If she is going to flit from one thing to another for ever then that's her choice and it will have consequences, but as an adult, it's her decision.

Besides the point of the thread, but even though the private school intake in Cambridge is (much too) high, most private school kids are not remotely 'pissed Sloanes'!!! In my year/college I'd say there were maybe 5-10 people out of 140 who you could conceivably categorise that way. But people see what they want to see I guess.

It has the second lowest state school intake other than private and specialist unis. Oxford being the lowest.

Yep it does. But 62.6% of students at Cambridge are state educated. So that's the majority. .(And actually the university works hard to combat popular perception and to encourage applications from the state sector. )

www.tcs.cam.ac.uk/news/0038688-cambridge-university-found-to-have-second-lowest-proportion-of-state-educated-students-in-uk.html

I would be worried that something isn't working for your dd that's preventing her settling in.

However, I know lots of people who changed uni's once and all have gone on to earn shitloads more than me plenty.

I don't know anyone who did it twice though. It does rather suggest that either she doesn't know what she wants or that she has a tendency to think the grass perennially greener.

These don't sound like major issues (unless she's not telling you the full story??), so I think she should try and stick out Cambridge, it's only 2 more years. I have a feeling (as it sounds u may too) that if she moved, she'd still not be happy and want to move again. Sticking at something tough and getting through it is worth a lot (to your own self confidence and self esteem, as well as showing resilience to employers etc..)

I dis classics at Cambridge and loved it, but then Mary Beard was my director of studies. you have a two team college system, so our other supervisory one was Kings, it depends which college she is in. My friend was at Trinity for the same subject and hated it. But I still think she should stick it out, it opens doors, rightly or wrongly.

I found the first year hard, was glad I had friends from school in other colleges, but found my friendship group (not my subject people, although got on fine with them) in year 2. Still friends with them 20 years later.

I'd say student welfare is MUCH better at Cambridge than UCL. Although it is college dependent. If you are in London maybe its better for her to stay at home and go to Uni.....

Uni was awful for me, hated everyday......... it is not the best time of your life necessarily, for me it has been by far the worst time................. I'd say stay at Cambridge it's such a small place. UCL is vast and in london, and if she ain't a londoner it might be too much...

Weighing it up OP, I think she may be disappointed with the course if she moves. I’d imagine she might find socialising hard work in London due to its sheer size and cost, and I say that as a lifelong Londoner. I’m not sure I’d want to be at uni here. So she may end up regretting it.

But if you suggest she stays at Cambridge and she ends up buckling and dropping out it’s lose lose.