Smacking children, when we were young

[Flatpackjackie]

Wasn't it normal to smack children until recent years?

As a child I was smacked every day. On the bottom, legs and head (on occasion the face).

I think it's absolutely right that it's no longer acceptable, but weren't we all smacked back then, by both parents?

Maybe twenty five years ago, but a smack on the bum or back of legs. In recent times it has never been ok to hit a child in the face/head. It achieves nothing other than teaching violence as a way of asserting dominance/ getting what you want.

Yes, I agree that it's very wrong. It was the norm to be smacked all of the time though, wasn't it? I remember being smacked by a teacher, as well as my parents.

I am in my mid-20s and was not smacked.

I don't think any of my friends were.

Yes it used to be normal.

I’m a huge hypocrite, I technically don’t believe in smacking. I don’t think it’s ideal or works.

But I confess I have been guilty of losing control with my daughter once. Scenario where all day she just constantly played me up, was disobedient, horrible all day and nothing I did worked (all the modern techniques, sitting out, refusal to give her treats etc) I finally saw red and smacked her bum through clothes. The shock factor worked (I think because it had never happened before) but I think if you smack all the time it loses its effect and it’s just not on to hit someone.

I’m mid 30s and I only remember one of my friends being hit by her parents and the rest of us in infant school were pretty horrified when she told us so I don’t think it’s been the norm for a long time.

It was definitely more acceptable. Still wrong obviously and not every parent slapped. Or teacher. But so many did it became the norm.

I’m 54 so I’m talking late 60s/70s and into the 80s.

I'm in my mid (well, technically late i suppose) 30s and i was never smacked. Neither were my brothers and sisters i don't think. A teacher at our school hit a pupil once, i think they were fired.
Being hit daily was never "normal", even when physical punishments were more common.
Are you ok OP?

My mum would smack us and shout at us a lot. I remember thinking, even as a young child, that she had no control. It didn't make me respect her. She's not a bad person, I wouldn't call her abusive, she struggled on her own and it was hard.

I suppose it was the norm, my mum's behaviour diminished in severity when the girl next door told me about her dad's belt. Every Friday night (now I realise it was probably after the pub).

It's amazing we've all turned out so normal (or maybe it's why- we don't want to be like them).

I think the normal for teachers to smack must make you a little older than me. I strayed primary in the mid 90's and it wasn't permissible then.

Also was rarely smacked as a child, certainly not daily

Smacking has been banned in state schools since 1986 and independent since 1999 (according to google).

I'm 38. I thought it was normal in every household in the 1980s and 90s.

I'm 37 and was smacked. I recall an especially bad time when my dad kicked me from behind when I was peeling potatoes with my mum because he thought I was ignoring him - we both thought he was addressing her. Mum once chased me round the house to batter me. Not good.

If one of my DD's friends disclosed such a thing I would be reporting it at once. I'm glad times have changed, but I sadly think they haven't changed for everyone.

Yes, it used to be done more frequently. Like Cider I am 53 and regularly got smacked by my mother. However, if I had been really naughty it wasn't a smack but "Your dad will talk to you when he gets home". That was the awful punishment - not the smack.

I'm in my mid 40s and i was smacked regularly as a child-both by my parents and by teachers. looking back i really don't think i was too horrible!
My memories of being smacked by my parents are my over riding memories of being a child tbh and i swore that i would never be like that with my kids. I had a brief time when i smacked my first child when i had pnd with the 2nd but it was awful-i felt so guilty and it was out of control and the very thought of it makes me feel sick to this day. I have never smacked since.
I work in a school with kids and the thought of smacking any of them for anything is abhorrent.

Even in the comics we read it was all about being caned at school or getting the slipper from dad at home

Im 47 and i was never smacked.
My dad's view was if you have to resort to smacking your children had and would never have any respect for you.

I'm in my 50s and was smacked in the legs. It stopped being acceptable about 30 years ago. I remember my parents being horrified when my bil smacked my nephew about then - I was a late baby so there is a big gap between me and my siblings.

I grew up in the 80s and I was smacked, although not often. It was common in my primary school for kids to be smacked or hit across the knuckles with a ruler by the (very victorian) head teacher. Not as bad as my dps though, who grew up with caning, slippers and belts.

I'm 38. I thought it was normal in every household in the 1980s and 90s.

No OP, it wasn’t normal in ever household.

I’m 30 and I was never smacked, my parents made it clear they thought the idea was abhorrent. I’m so glad. I can’t imagine being hit and physically hurt by the two people whose primary job was to protect me, care for me, and teach me right from wrong.

I’m so sorry it happened to you. It’s not normal and it isn’t okay.

DD is 30. I smacked her once but it was common for children to be smacked. DS 27 never smacked and it had completely changed by then. I'm 57 and we were regularly smacked

I'm the same age, my parents were a bit "hippyish" so never getting smacked at all might have been unusual but i think daily would be more unusual. And the comics might have been about getting the slipper from Dad but they were also about cow pie with actual antlers sticking out of the top and Judge Dread and they weren't normal either. Daily smacking - especially round the head/face sounds like violent loss of control rather than normal discipline in the 90s.

I'm 42 and smacking daily was certainly not normal in my family, my Dad hit me once when I did something naughty, but he cried afterwards. That had a profound effect on me, I don't remember the smack but I do remember his tears. I think adults hit children mainly in anger and frustration. Daily smacking in a time when physical punishment was legal is at best bad parenting and at worst abuse hiding in plain sight.

@Flatpackjackie I'm mid thirties, got a smack on the bum/legs a couple of times from mum when fairly young, not past infants. Never by dad and certainly not by teachers!! It wasn't common, there were a couple of kids you'd see or would talk about being smacked but they were the same ones coming to school in dirty uniforms, with no lunch and having special lessons/meetings with what i think now were social workers although didn't realise this at the time. There was a scandal at my primary school when a supply teacher laid hands on one of the boys, he got fired immediately and there was absolute outrage.

I’m late 30’s and I was smacked as a child. I think all my friends were. I remember children misbehaving openly getting smacked in public! In the 80’s smacking was very acceptable. I’m glad it’s not now.