To wonder how many children you’d have, in an ideal world?

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I’ve just had one and I can’t decide whether I’m done, or I want 20! 😁

If you didn’t have to worry about health, money, job, the pesky practicalities... How many children would you have (/had)? Why?

None.

Four in an absolutely ideal world (that doesn't exist) but one (what I have) for the world and circumstances I live in.

DH's parents did the whole divide and conquer thing with the kids so he now sees having a sibling as a very negative thing. They're also not very supportive grandparents - their idea of grandparenting is to turn up to the events we plan/cook/pay for and sit in quiet judgement of us and others (and never reciprocate or offer to help despite being fit and healthy). My parents are dead. So, no family support and a fear that we would make a poor job of parenting 2+ given the role models we have.

We also wanted a secure financial future for us and a 'good start' for any DC (so no uni fees, substantial house deposit, private school if needed etc) - which ruled out having more!

I wanted 4, so there was no middle child. I already had 3, we got twins so now have 5. I'm over the moon of course, but how bloody typical

I always wanted lots growing up then had one which is ample. I couldn't have lots,, I don't like children sharing bedrooms and I'm poor so wouldn't have a choice.

I would’ve liked three (or maybe even four?) but as it is I’ve got none. Would be thrilled with one at this point. Makes me a bit sad to think about how differently my life turned out.

Two.

One boy, one girl. 3-4 year age gap.

That’s what we’ve got. DS 11 and DD 8. It’s perfect - I wouldn’t change anything.

If I was fabulously and independently rich, did not need to work and could have full-time, live-in housework and childcare services? Three, possibly even four.

1. We have decided to stop at our 2, the childcare is just crippling.

I always wanted 2 - a boy and a girl - and that's what we've got, so I'm happy.

But I suppose in an ideal world - one where pregnancy lasts 4-5 months max, babies sleep through the night immediately, breastfeeding is easy, babies and toddlers aren't so darned dependent and needy, toddlers don't tantrum and need watching 24/7, children don't cost a load of money to educate, take on holidays, etc... I'd've liked 4.

And that's less about wanting 4 babies or 4 children. And more about life when they're grown up - a house full of adult children and their families coming and going seems idyllic.

4

I think 4

I only just had my first last year

Half Jokingly brought up having another in the future and DP instantly
Shut me down

Great

4 or 6

Always even numbers, I'd likes small holding with chickens, goats and children everywhere, I'd also like to foster children in the future as I believe DH & I could give them a good and happy childhood

I'm not sure. If the stork could have brought them and I could afford staff to do their laundry, help me take them places and clear up after them I would have had loads.

I have 5 which sometimes feels perfect and sometimes feels like too many, mostly when they all wet the bed on the same night and the washing machine breaks down. I often wish I could outsource the boring bits like laundry.

4 - and I have 4. All boys which would not have been my choice, but now wouldn't change for the world. We have organised chaos and I love it!

I like the idea of a big family but I would've had to start earlier for that. I'm one of 4 and it doesn't feel that big of a family, I would've loved a younger sibling. But as it is, I have 0 children at present and can't see myself having more than 2.

I always said i wanted 5 but we went on to have 6. I could have kept going and had 8 if we could have afforded it. We decided we couldn't and husband had a vasectomy, the non reversible kind and that's ok.
Some times I think about what would be if we'd not agreed on the vasectomy but it's a fleeting moment.

1 and I have her.

I would love three, because I was one of three and so was my partner so it just feels normal to us. I imagine did financial reasons (and sleep deprivation reasons), we may stop at two if we are lucky enough to have another one.

Two.

I have always wanted two and I am aware that I'm very lucky to have them. That doesn't mean that I find parenting and the associated sacrifices easy. I feel I can set aside my selfishness and really devote a lot of time, attention and energy to my children with little resentment however, I definitely think I would become resentful and struggle if I had to stay in the young child phase for years and years. I guess I'm just aware of my own limitations and that there is a high likelihood I would burn out if I had more children.

1. But ended up with 2.

Not to sure if I could have coped with 5 pregnancies. I had my head down a toilet for 5 months and terrible heartburn for the remaining 4 months with my first and whilst I lost 2 stone because of morning sickness I ended up putting on 7 stone from my lowest point.

Then with second I just put on 7 stone and have struggled lose it.

I would have had 3 but I feel very lucky to have 1, I'm 50 this year so no more for me.
When my dad was a toddler I did egg donation for a few couples and between them it was successful 3 times so I was able to share the joy.

I had 2 long term violent relationships so for many reason I never had more, some days I feel very sad that I didn't meet my OH years ago and we had been able to have children together as he is a wonderful dad to my 2 SD's and to my daughter who loves him to bits......with 3 adult daughters we are awaiting Grandchildren with anticipation, but due to my experiences of meeting infertile couples and his and his ex wife's loss of 2 late term babies we wouldn't ever mention it to our daughters. Happy to live them for the intelligent strong and kind young women they have all become

*dad....should have said daughter

If I could have chosen totally from the start I would had two close in age when I was early 20s then another two 18 years later. I have two at primary school close in age and two stepchildren in their 30s so not far out! 😀

1

In an absolutely ideal world? Unlimited money and time, mahoosive house and whatever help you need/want - i.e. nanny/cleaner/cook.

I'd probably have 6.

In a slightly more ideal world (able to easily afford a 5 bed house) I'd have 4.

As it is I have 3