To ask if you think it’s selfish to have a baby using donor sperm?

[thenightwontchange]

Considering this for me but can’t work out if it’s selfish or not. Welcome honest views!

No it's not selfish. Are you thinking about having a baby on your own? Plenty of single parents around.

Why would it be selfish?

I don't see how it could be selfish? If the alternative is sleeping with someone unprotected for the sole purpose of getting pregnant, it seems a much better option.

Do you mean intentionally becoming a single parent could be selfish? If so, then I don't agree. Me and my boy are on our own most of the time. He's just fine.

Why selfish? A much wanted child who will be loved. A child who wont have to deal with breakdown in family dynamics that some families sadly face.

I don't. I'd be surprised if anybody thought that.

I don't understand why it could be seen as selfish either.

Why would it be selfish?

Not selfish at all. A wanted child who is loved. Seems a positive goal to me. If I had reached a certain age and not had children I would have looked at that option.

No more selfish than any of us that choose to have a child.

In my opinion it would be wrong to not tell the child in an appropriate way as early as possible about how they came to be but that is a secondary matter.

Not selfish at all.

Definitely not selfish, if you want a baby and love it with all your heart there is no need for a father to be around. I grew up without a dad and I am glad of it as I have a strong connection with my mother

I imagine people will come along to say it is selfish to deliberately bring up a child knowing they won't have a father (heard that said before, not my views)

No, not selfish. It's something I would have considered too.

Do you mean selfish in as much as you'd be going into motherhood as effectively a lone parent?
If so, then it's not selfish in the slightest.

I do worry it’s selfish for that reason and that the child wouldn’t have any male role models.

Do you know a man who'll donate sperm to you (rather than anon sperm)? At least that way the child could get to know its father in the future. Some kids will want to know, others won't care.

They would have male role models in schools and friends.

I think its great. Imagine having a child where you get to make every single decision by yourself without having to tun it by someone else. Things like baby names and also how you decorate the bedroom.

Definitely not selfish. Hard work going alone but many manage it.

Yes, I think it's selfish. Firstly because the child will be missing half it's identity, secondly because you don't have the support of its father in your life (what if something happens to you - do you have family who would be willing to raise it?) and thirdly because there are thousands upon thousands of children waiting for adoptive homes who are currently stagnating in the care system.

No different to those of us with kids whose 'dads' are no longer around i'd say. Your child will know they were wanted. Role models come in all shapes & sizes too

Adoption isn’t that straightforward actually but yes I do worry about the “what if something happens to me”.

Why do people constantly throw the adopt line out? It shouldn't just fall to single folk or those unable to naturally conceive to adopt children

By that reasoning no one should be having children until they've tried to adopt first, @littlemisscomper.

"Missing half it's identity" is such a loaded way of describing that they won't have a father. This is a situation that many women find themselves in, women who have children with men who have a history of fathering children and abandoning them, for example.

I don't think it's selfish, as long as you are able to provide for the baby.
My friend did it.. and she is so happy and content with her decision. That said, she is a high earner and is able to pay for childcare to fit around her working life. The child is loved and adored and wants for nothing

And who said kids need a male role model??!!

Not at all. I personally find the "O look I just got accidentally pregnant to a near stranger in the early stages of a relationship', actually selfish. Women want babies, so doing it in this honest way is admirable.