I’m putting this out there. High heels.

[Undercoverbanana]

I think they are ugly and make women/girls look ridiculous. AIBU?

Hello I don't post very often but just wanted to put my two pence worth in.

In my life I have worn heels a handful of times, I always found them uncomfortable, impractical and generally a bit shite so tended towards comfortable trainers or practical boots depending on the occasion. Weirdly really dislike pumps and feel like I'm duck walking everywhere in them but think it's the thin soles that does that for me.

Anyway I am a recently married feminist woman in my mid 30's so I can safely say that what I wear is not based on attracting men - tbh my clothing style is usually "looks like a sack of tatties" as I tend towards the baggy warm variety of clothing 😂 and I very rarely wear a dress or skirt.

Recently I have bought two pairs of heels and two summer dresses!

Admittedly one pair of shoes turned out to be uncomfortable and one of the dresses a little short but hey, I bought cheap or second hand so it's not a big loss.

The other dress fits great and I think is very nice sort of smart casual dress and I really like the colours in it. The pair of shoes are very cute quirky but understated, comfortable and I can walk well and not have sore feet in them! They were a good brand, wider heel and have a slightly padded inner sole but bought cheap in a sale.

I bought these things because I liked them the dress I think looks lovely and the shoes make ME happy to look at and wear

I couldn't give two shits what men think I look like, I don't wear anything for anyone else's benefit. I just saw things that made me happy to look at, the ones that make me happy to wear I keep. I wear what's practical for the occasion.

I would refuse to take a job that requires me to wear a skirt and heels on the principal that a) no one tells me what to wear, b) I'm not going to wear anything I don't feel comfortable in or feel is impractical for the situation, and c) I'm not there for other people to enjoy looking at! I would refuse to attend an event that required the same sort of silly dress code for the same reasons but as people said not being a celebrity makes the event scenario less likely.

Oh I also rarely wear makeup but funnily enough I have some on today (wierd!), and am wearing my new dress with some leggings underneath - I am alone this evening as OH away for work, don't plan to leave the house and expect no visitors. I am comfortable, feel happy and think I look quite nice today. I am not doing anything for anyone but myself.

So what's the problem? Why so judgy? I'm a little sad to see so much negativity for women who shock horror might be wearing something because it makes them happy 🤔

Not read all the thread.

YANBU. I think they often look unattractive. Wedges look a lot better but not if they are too high. Stilettos look odd on most people. Lots of people can't walk in them so even if they looked teller and slimmer when they were admiring themselves in the mirror they end up just looking ungainly and awkward when they are walking. I've worn low heels to work years ago but have never worn stilettos. I really dislike them and find them a bit dated these days.

My DDs are in their 20s and seem to only wear flats despite loving fashion and loving dressing up. One DD recently attended a ball with a stunning dress paired with evening style Vans. She looked amazing.

I like flats or low wedges myself.

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Bertrandrussell

Really? you honestly can't see the point I'm making there?

I am a remedial massage therapist. The damage I see from women wearing high heels is dramatic.

I don’t see the same issues from wearing bras, in fact I recommend certain bras for sport activities to prevent back pain.

I don’t get shaving, I have no urge to look prepubescent so I am happily hairy

This isn't just about heels though is it? we could make this argument about form fitting clothes, skinny jeans, wearing bras, nice hair, dresses, wearing make up...aren't all these things exactly the same? Do none of you wear/do any of these things?

I wear a heel high enough to overcome my plantar fascitis, that's it. I wear nothing tighter than a pair of leggings. I wear a bra cos I'd knock myself out otherwise if I had to jump a bit. My hair has stayed pinned back for a few years now, every day. I haven't worn makeup since 2013. I shave nothing.

So can I call high heels patriarchal nonsense now? Do I get a badge? I want a badge.

So what's the problem? Why so judgy? I'm a little sad to see so much negativity for women who shock horror might be wearing something because it makes them happy

Because they can't be doing it for themselves. Don't you get that?

I have asked before if someone could provide a handy guide on a scale of 1 to 10 where 1 is "strong, independent woman making her own choices" and 10 is " a brain washed by the patriarchy man pleaser"

I know that all these MNetters who only buy clothes from the men's wear section and only wear Crocs, trainers and Docs are at 1.

I'm probably at around 7 or 8. I only wear dresses, but not short or tight and no heels above 3 inches although my liking for ballet flats is a bit dodgy.

Well said Lostin

I am a remedial massage therapist. The damage I see from women wearing high heels is dramatic

I’m sure you see plenty of people with damage from the very flat ballet pump style shoes. They’re dreadful for you. My physio told me not to even consider wearing them.

I don’t get shaving, I have no urge to look prepubescent so I am happily hairy

See this trope is trotted out regularly and makes no sense. I sometimes shave. I don’t shave away my tits, hips and stretch marks so it’s hardly likely I look “pre-pubescent”

Well I don't think they are ugly but they are more uncofortable that nearly flats. Nearly flat is best I think as a slight raise to the heel is actually good fir you

I have wedges on today to go yo a party but I wear flats alot.

"Today 16:29 KittenBeast

Bertrandrussell

Really? you honestly can't see the point I'm making there?"

I assume you're saying that it is not allowed to challenge one aspect of misogyny unless you challenge all of them at once?

So what's the problem? Why so judgy? I'm a little sad to see so much negativity for women who shock horror might be wearing something because it makes them happy.

Because the patriarchy isn't alone in its enjoyment of infantilising and judging women on how they look. Plenty of women who identify as feminist love doing it too.

Define ‘nice’ hair?

I get this with people talking about eyebrows and things. Surely if your eyebrows keep water out of your eyes haute sufficient?

Anyway, I don’t really get it but I DO get that high heels cause major back issues. None of the other things mentioned cause physical impairment as far as I know. Although I do find make up to be a tool of patriarchy as it is sort of a mini prison. You can’t leap and sing and weightlift wearing make up and you can’t touch your face.

You can’t leap and sing and weightlift wearing make up and you can’t touch your face

Um. Say what now?

"You can't make wearing heels about misogyny and the ideas that society has spun whilst you probably shave your legs and wear a bra.

Of course we can. I conform to several societal conventions about female dress and grooming (no high heels, though), while at the same time being able to assess their implications from a historical and feminist perspective.

Because the patriarchy isn't alone in its enjoyment of infantilising and judging women on how they look. Plenty of women who identify as feminist love doing it too

Indeed they do Dione (posted whilst looking at my actually quite pretty and bunion and callous free bare feet)

Jacques

No, not really. That’s probably because the style of shoes fashionable are high heels though.

The reason society dictates women shave is entirely to make us look prepubescent. Adult humans have body hair, for good reason too, it keeps us cleaner, works with the lymph system to wick toxins away from the skin and is vital to our wellbeing.

Hairy should be sexy. Hairless is childlike naturally

Jacques

Ummm you heard me.

Hairy should be sexy. Hairless is childlike naturally

I lost all my body hair through illness. I still looked exactly as I was. An adult woman. I decided I like it and remove the odd bits that grow back now.

Hairless is not childlike in itself, only on a child.

Jacques

We are talking about societal norms not personal anecdotes. Please come back when you’ve learned the difference

@CantankerousCamel

Yes. I was just actually checking you think you can sing or do sport wearing makeup?

French women have hairy armpits. HTH in this extremely judgey thread.

Are you’re THAT type.
😂😂

Hairless is not childlike in itself, only on a child

I never removed pubic hair but at age 59 most of it has now vanished of its own accord.