Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Original poster

Did you have a fancy proposal?

134 replies

listenup7 · 01/06/2018 20:24

I didn't. We decided to get engaged together and I even chose the ring. When I tell people they're very surprised, and say they hope their other half takes them on a fancy holiday before popping the question.

Am I alone in getting engaged like this? I don't know if I've missed out on the excitement of a surprised proposal. But surely in a long term relationship you know it's coming? And will have spoken about it at least? The proposer will need to know the other wants to get married surely?

OP posts:

FriendlyOcelot · 01/06/2018 20:27

No. It was drunken and I didn’t even get an engagement ring. We have however been happily married for over fifteen years and counting, and while dh is spectacularly crap at surprises and gifts etc he’s a wonderful husband and a brilliant father. So it’s not all hearts and flowers but that’s ok.

Hermie12 · 01/06/2018 20:28

100 % the same as you ! Got engaged in December after 6 years, a dd and house purchase. Just discussed it, I chose the ring and he went and collected it.

GnomeDePlume · 01/06/2018 20:29

No, I asked him. We were washing up at the time.

Now married close on 27 years.

Batmanthedude · 01/06/2018 20:31

Nothing fancy at all, sat watching telly holding a 3 month old ds and he handed me the ring and just stared at me, lol. Ring was far to small so took couple of weeks for new size but didn't bother me. It was honest and he was nervous enough doing that.

AmazingPostVoices · 01/06/2018 20:32

I had a lovely proposal but it wasn’t staged or fancy or a huge production and we chose the ring together a few weeks later.

I’m always vaguely suspicious of proposals that require huge preparation and hullabaloo.

EnglishRose13 · 01/06/2018 20:32

No. Decided we would get married after watching The Hangover (yes, we got married in Vegas). We went ring shopping together. He "proposed" by saying "here, wear this" and passing me the ring we'd just picked out.

ZigZagIntoTheBlue · 01/06/2018 20:34

I've always been very clear on not wanting a public proposal, I hate being centre of attention. Dh cooked a roast dinner, dressed up in a suit (wore jeans and t shirt to work in those days) made an iTunes playlist of songs I liked and proposed on one knee. I was bowled over by the amount of thought and prep he'd done, though he did use up all his romanticism in one go and I've never seen a hint of it again 😂😂

sourpatchkid · 01/06/2018 20:34

He took me away to our favourite hotel and already had the ring (which was perfect, he chose better than I would have)

mummmy2017 · 01/06/2018 20:35

Really funny.. but very outing...
FIL told him to.propose. so he did...
We were out with friends at a big party for in laws...

Mycatsarebetterthanyours · 01/06/2018 20:35

Nope. Decided to get engaged & chose the ring together. It would have been nice to have been asked in the traditional way but I'm married now & that was the whole point.

CuppaSarah · 01/06/2018 20:36

Nope. We had the discussion about we wanted in he future. I made it clear marriage was a priority, I showed him some rings I liked and told him my ring size. A month or so later my favorite of he rings I showed him appeared, simple proposal at home while dd napped.

A big proposal wouldn't be mine or dhs thing at all.

Bluelady · 01/06/2018 20:37

No proposal at all. We agreed it was a good idea, I chose the ring, he paid for it and I collected it after it had been resized.

ChocolateChipMuffin2016 · 01/06/2018 20:37

I did, but lots of people I know didn’t are are equally happy. It isn’t a measure of your relationship in my opinion

ThePinkOcelot · 01/06/2018 20:38

No! Just decided to get married.

Creasey31 · 01/06/2018 20:38

Same as you...each to there own but we are not really fussed about loads of attention which is probably why we have been engaged 5 years and haven’t sorted a wedding out x

Ginmakesitallok · 01/06/2018 20:38

We decided to get married when we were in the pub. Then in the chip shop later (both v drunk) he got down on one knee.
.

John4703 · 01/06/2018 20:39

We were watching TV and talking, she said "I suppose that I've nothing against getting married". I got down on my knees straight away and asked her to marry me (I have since discovered that I should have got down onto one knee). She said yes, we went to bed and texted all our friends and family.
That was 15 years ago and we are still in love and very happy.

DramaAlpaca · 01/06/2018 20:40

No fancy proposal here. We knew we were going to get married. He did manage to catch me by surprise & ask me when he knew I wouldn't be expecting it, but it wasn't a hugely romantic moment or anything. We went to choose the ring together because he knew I'd be very particular about it - I'm really fussy about jewellery. Married nearly 30 years now.

AnneLovesGilbert · 01/06/2018 20:40

Same as you OP! We’d talked about wanting to get married and doing house, wedding, baby but couldn’t decide which order to do them. We started house hunting and one night we were picking up a takeaway and he said “can we get married now?” I don’t consider it a proposal because we’d talked about it and he was saying we should get on with it!

Picked a date and got hitched a couple of months later, moved into the house couple of months after that and still trying to get the baby bit sorted.

When we told people we’d booked a date (instead of “we’re engaged”) loads said “ooh how did he do it” and I replied “we decided to get married x days/weeks ago” and they either looked a bit nonplussed or asked what the wedding plan was. You’re right, there’s still a huge expectation that a couple don’t plan to wed without a big fussy Facebook worth do and someone officially asking someone else.

In a past life I had one of those and it was nice (didn’t put it on FB!) but we’d already agreed to get married in principle and the big moment had no bearing on the marriage that followed.

Mammalamb · 01/06/2018 20:41

Nope. We didn’t either

MissConductUS · 01/06/2018 20:41

No big proposal. We discussed it, agreed and went ring shopping together.

I feel awful for the women who get very public proposals. What if she wants to think about it a bit? I saw one such proposal at a wedding reception. They basically hijacked the party. The bride was livid.

beaverbill · 01/06/2018 20:41

I had a wonderful proposal. He took me to gorgeous part of the Yorkshire dales where he’d been many times as a child. He got down on one knee in the river and produced a beautiful ring.
When we arrived home all of our families and friends were waiting for us in a surprise party! Cocky sod!
He’s still as romantic 15 years and 2 children later.

NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom · 01/06/2018 20:41

No proposal , he got my original engagement ring in exchange for a pint
I lovingly wore said ring for many years until he decided it wouldn't do to wear it with the lovely wedding ring I'd chosen, we picked the new one together.
The original sits in my jewellery box & makes me smile whenever I look at it.

Thebluedog · 01/06/2018 20:43

No, we just agreed on it when talking about life insurance and wills whilst in holiday. He did get down on one knee in a lovely location as he said it felt more like a business transaction the previous day - no ring tho, we aren’t doing the engagement ring thing

Namethecat · 01/06/2018 20:44

' We've got to get you married by the end of the year ' My reply........ ' Oh I'll start looking around for likely potentials shall I !'

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.