WIBU to lose my shit with her?

[FairfaxAikman]

I take part in a team sport (not going to say what as it's rather niche and therefore outing).
Every year my club runs a competition and I am one of a core of six members who always helps set up and does the donkey work across the whole weekend (emptying bins, picking up litter, ensuring toilets are clean, fetching and carrying etc)

This year I asked to do specific tasks that I know are less strenuous as I will have 12-week-old DS with me and because I had an emergency section which hasn't healed brilliantly (really hoping I would be encouraged to take a back seat this year).

The woman who runs the club has pointed out all that I am expected to do in addition to competing myself (which would be fine in a normal year) and is pushing me to leave DS with DH for the entire weekend. I pointed out I am BF and the response was "can't you express some" - erm, not enough for two days, no.
She now wants me to bring DH to look after DS. He doesn't normally come to any competition with me.

She was difficult in my pregnancy too - resisting a minor alteration to my technique which allowed me to compete safely until I put my foot down - and has a history of "humorous" digs at me, which I generally ignore but have led to DH trying to persuade me to move teams in the past.

WIBU to tell her to fuck off, I'm not leaving DS nor am I running ragged this year?

having a planned section for breech IS elective because it's not an emergency procedure.

Elective doesn't mean for shits and giggles. It just means planned surgery

Don't do the "donkey work" with a 12 week old. Take maternity leave from it. There must be someone else who could volunteer. Otherwise your charming manager can pick up the slack.

Polo? If so, utterly mad to play after a C Section!

Wth are you on about? You're the one who made the snarky comment about elective sections being a shame.

This is utterly bizarre. Where did I say elective sections are 'a shame'?
I said People associate CS with birth, so ignore what a serious operation it is. I've never understood why people have elective CSs

I don't read tabloids, but still haven't been able to avoid the knowledge that many celebrities choose to have CSs (which is what I meant by 'elective') rather than natural births because it's more convenient and they can choose the date. I've never heard the term 'elective' used for CSs which are medically advised, such as for breech presentation.

Bugger. Small area of section scar (only about 1-2cm) that has been repeatedly splitting has split again.

I'm going to wait till I'm face to face with witnesses before I put my foot down though.

Shit, that's horrible. Is it a vertical or horizontal scar? (Just being nosy now. Mine is a horrible vertical one, anyone else I know who's had CS has had a lovely neat horizontal one.)

Horizontal

An elective section is any c section which is planned in advance and not an emergency.

There are many reasons why some women have planned c sections: previous birth trauma/tearing, placenta Pravia, birth phobia, emotional/mental health reasons, uterine issues, previous multiple sections that makes a vbac unsafe etc etc etc. Very few sections are planned for women who just “don’t fancy a vaginal birth/too posh push”

I don’t understand the reason for reactions either.... ??

OP I don’t know what your sport is but as someone who used to work in Hv and carry out 6-12 week post partum checks doing anything physical when you have a wound that isn’t healing and had split open plus BF a 12 week old baby’s sounds really quite stupid and irresponsible.

@Absofrigginlootly again without outing myself, each team member has a partner who does most of the physical work - believe me, I wouldn't do it if I felt there was a risk. As long as I take precautions I'll be fine.

You need to tell her you cannot meet her expectations this year therefore you will not be available. End of!

Hey OP, pls tell me the sport involved is Quidditch!! 😍

@Fairfax ok, just don’t be surprised if the Dr bollocks you when you get readmitted for wound infection and resuturing...

most of the physical work is not all of the physical work.... you should be resting and healing

Is it curling doubles? I did wonder if it was archery or some kind of shooting but you wouldn't have a partner.

Or equestrian and the horse is your partner?

Your body is telling you that you need to rest and let it heal. This is madness.

im guessing curling

Sorry, she sounds like a bitch. Tell her to fuck off. In the kindest way.

Jealous maybe?

Who gave her permission to be Queen Bee?!

I breastfed for a year. You and your family are the most important thing here.

Not going to out your sport but i think I've got it!
I was lucky with my club, who understood my limitations, can any other club members help you out with childcare? As far as jobs are concerned can you offer to do paperwork? Its a fairly simple job once you get the hang of it and means you get to sit in the tent with baby (and get to eat all the cake and sweets too )

I’ve had similar situations.

The more you do the more they expect you to do. And you don’t get any thanks.

Just way no.

Also should you be competing (unless it’s something like chess) if you’ve had a csection a few weeks ago.

Ps if our captain had acted like yours, id have walked, i know its a way of life more than a sport and totally addictive but my DC are more important than any hobby!

If you are right @muttmad, then way of life sounds reasonably accurate.

Just say no. You don't need to explain or justify yourself.

OP, given what you’ve posted about the wound splitting, I think it’d be better for you to be doing the bare minimum at this event.

So, just the competing, if you’re really set on it and think you can do it safely.

But in your shoes I’d be refusing to do any of the helping out. No setting up, no donkey work. Even without the breastfeeding, if your wound is taking so long to heal properly, you need to be avoiding the physical helping out in order to stop making the wound worse. Tell her you’re not physically fit enough to help out because you’re recovering from major surgery.

Juells elective c-section is the term doctors, NHS, etc usually use to mean any planned c-section, regardless of how medically necessary that planned c-section might be.

It’s a misleading term IMO, as many elective c-sections don’t involve any real choice if a woman wants a safe outcome for herself and her baby, but it’s the term used.

It’s not the same thing as someone freely choosing to have a c-section because they think a c-section is more convenient or whatever.