To think vegetarian dd is being unreasonable?

[Abergavenny]

A few weeks ago, Dd aged 14 declared that she is now a vegetarian. It’s a bit of a hassle, given that the rest of us (2 parents + 2 siblings) all eat meat, but I’m getting the hang of it i.e. doing quorn chicken for her while doing normal chicken for the rest of us.

Yesterday, however, she refused to eat what I’d made her - I’d done a tomato pasta bake with meatballs, and put veggie meatballs in at one end for her. But she refused to eat it because it had been cooked in the same dish as the meat.

AIBU to think she’s being unreasonably precious given that she ate meat for 13 and a bit years before this?

And is it unreasonable to refuse to cook her anything else, and tell her she either eats veggie options cooked in the same pan as meat or makes her own meal?

We don’t tolerate fussy eaters in this house.

I really hope that wouldn't be your response if one of your children decided to go veggie. Fussiness doesn't come into it.

YABU! Cook it separately or ask her to cook her own.

We don't tolerate people with ignorant and bigoted ideas in our house

Just make vegeatarian meals for everyone. You can eat what you like out of the house. Why cook 2 separate meals with chicken and quorn chicken. Just make it all with quorn.

I'd rather eat grass from the garden than the shite called quorn. It's disgusting.
How about take the opportunity to teach the 14y old to cook? Get an interesting vegetarian cookbook (i.e. one, that doesn't use shitty substitutes but instead has its own vegetarian recipes) and try cooking stuff that's stimulating, enhancing and easy to make. We have shitloads of coriander, parsley and watercress at the moment so we're experimenting with pasta dishes and pesto. We aren't vegetarians but could do without meat for a while if we feel like eating other stuff. Also pulses, curries, etc.
Vegetarian cooking doesn't have to be bland and just a desperate attempt to substitute everything meaty with plasticky tasting crap.

And while I'm not a big friend of vegetarianism, I certainly would never cook a vegetarian or vegan meal in the same dish as meat. It's all about respect.

Exactly, Clandestino. You don't have to buy into it, you just have to respect other people's choices.

We don’t tolerate fussy eaters in this house.

Vegetarianism is not "fussiness".

For goodness sake your DD doesn’t have to eat meat everyday to prevent being anaemic. Are you sure it’s not because you can’t go a meal without eating meat? Get her some liquid iron supplements, like spatone which won’t make you constipated.

Viva it's isn't at all like excluding dairy. It's easy these days because you have a) ready make produces such as quorn burgers, nuggets if you are having a chip and something meal, or quiches or lasagne b) you can get pulses and beans in any supermarket now so if you make a normal chilli, making a bean chilli is identical except you put beans in- we all eat bean chilli anyway now as cheap supermarket meat is not nice. Chilli with beans is cheaper as well as someone mentioned finance (unless you live on discount sausage rolls or something).

Even slow cooker meals, you just cook the rice/potatoes separately (which is a lot healthier than leaving it in meat with fat on it) and bung in a separate thing. Pasta- my daughter makes the most delicious veggie pasta sauces with peppers/olives and I don't miss mince in any form. Vegetarian pizza or pasta of some type is a standard in Italian cooking.

I can't think how it can be a whole new way of cooking, unless you are exceptionally rigid. If you don't want to, or don't have the energy to think it through, then asking the child who decided to be veggie to help out, write a shopping list, go shopping, prepare some bits themselves and cook occasionally is fine too.

I've done it (had a child suddenly announce they don't eat meat) and there's a short adjustment period then you just crack on. In our case, it's been great as the school taught them some veggie recipes, we use them at home and all of us eat less meat and more salads/pulses/lentils which is what I pushed for when they were little but didn't get anywhere with...(the deal was that if she went veggie, she would try more vegetables!)

pinkgirl
You are welcome. I hope it works for her.

Applesandpears
Non heme iron. Not everyone can properly digest beans, pulses, nuts etc. It is therefore more difficult for some people to obtain iron on a vegetarian diet and a vegetarian diet wouldn’t (didn’t) work for me.

We don’t tolerate fussy eaters in this house

Ignorance is clearly aplenty though

I am a veggie and I would not eat it if it had been prepared in the same dish as the meat.

I became a vegetarian at the same time as your daughter, my mum thought the same thing to, that it was a phase 🙄 18 years later! Still a vegetarian!

I do think you should get your daughter involved in more of the cooking though. It helped me because although there is still a lot of options for vegetarians you are restricted and learning how to cook healthy meals is important! Good luck x

Why should the rest of the household be subjected to quorn to suit the whim of a 14 year old?

In any other circumstance posters here get slaughtered for admitting that they cook two different meals to cater for a fussy child. Let her know in advance what you’re cooking that night, if she doesn’t like it she can cook herself something else.

@Bettyfood Yes it does

Yabu

I could be forgiving of parental ignorance of vegetarian dishes 30 years ago but people eating no/less meat is so common now! The OP clearly can cook from the examples she has given. There is no excuse.

@DragonMummy A cup of spinach has .81 mg of iron. For years people over estimated the iron content by a factor of ten. Half a cup of haricot beans has 3.5mg of iron. Beans and pulses have loads more iron than leafy veg.

Some iron rich meals, might be a good idea to get your vegetarian DD into making some for herself so she also doesn't end up anaemic. Most of these could also be made and last her a few days.
www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/collection/iron-rich-vegetarian

The consensus in this thread is clear - vegetarians should not eat food which has been mixed in the same pot as meat, but contains no meat itself.

But why not?

No animals have been harmed to cook your dish. So you've achieved what you wanted. Tick.

From a practical animal rights POV, what difference does it make if your food is cooked in a separate pot?

Because there's no difference in the amount of animals killed.

No animals have been harmed to cook your dish. So you've achieved what you wanted. Tick.

If I was eating meat or meat juices, I’d be eating an animal that had been harmed

My take on this:

1. Vegetarianism is fussiness, however it's fussiness with a moral reason, so should be tolerated, but it is still a choice not to eat certain foods, not because you can't eat them.

1. If you want your family to all eat together and make sure your 14 year old has a balanced diet, then just saying make them cook for themselves isn't going to work. Apart from anything else, it's usually easier to have 1 person cooking 2 meals in the kitchen at the same time than 2 people trying to cook 1 meal each to be on the table at similar times. That way madness and family arguments lies!

1. Quorn is horrible and only someone who has only ever eaten shit meat would ever think it tastes the same.

1. No, it's not favouritism to prioritise a child's medical need for a specific diet over another child's food preference - just because one is a moral choice, doesn't make it more important than a medical choice. Needing to take vitamin supplements is a sign of a poor diet. Why should one DD be forced to eat a diet that doesn't nourish her adequately in order for her sister to have a diet she prefers?

1. Cook meat substitutes separately, or not at all, she could have had the sauce and pasta.

@PurpleDaisies
But take a family of four eating a chicken thigh each in a casserole. 4 thighs, 4 lots of meat juices. One turns vegetarian. 3 thighs, 3 lots of meat juices. Whether those 3 lots of meat juices are shared between 4 portions, or 3 portions, it's the same amount. So, the vegetarian hasn't contributed to harming the animals.
From an unemotional pov, can you articulate what actual difference this makes to animals?

Quorn is horrible and only someone who has only ever eaten shit meat would ever think it tastes the same.

Quite. It's processed shite, scrapings off the factory floor with good PR as a "health food". Why any vegetarian or health conscious person would entertain it beats me - why do you want fake meat? Loads of stuff you can eat without resorting to "texturised vegetable protein".

Some of the posts on this thread are really aggressive towards the poor child. I've read only the first few pages, perhaps I missed a post from the OP where the 14-year-old has refused to cook for herself?

I think it's really good for teenagers to think about where their food comes from, and to start cooking for themselves. It certainly made my two very conscious of nutrition.

Quorn isn't vegetable protein and they don't make it from scrapings from a factory floor. It doesn't have to taste like meat, because it isn't meat. Don't eat it if you don't like it! But it's still a useful product for vegetarians, if they want to eat it.

If vegetarianism is "fussiness" can I just check that the religious based diets of Muslims, Jewish people, Hindus, Buddhists etc are all equally "fussy"? And that you as a meat eater aren't fussy about what you choose to eat, so insects and dog would be fine, say if you were in a country where those items were commonplace?

So much misinformation on this thread. Eating less meat will not harm the older DD.

List of the TEN foods with highest iron content. Only one of them is meat:

www.myfooddata.com/articles/food-sources-of-iron.php