To think vegetarian dd is being unreasonable?

[Abergavenny]

A few weeks ago, Dd aged 14 declared that she is now a vegetarian. It’s a bit of a hassle, given that the rest of us (2 parents + 2 siblings) all eat meat, but I’m getting the hang of it i.e. doing quorn chicken for her while doing normal chicken for the rest of us.

Yesterday, however, she refused to eat what I’d made her - I’d done a tomato pasta bake with meatballs, and put veggie meatballs in at one end for her. But she refused to eat it because it had been cooked in the same dish as the meat.

AIBU to think she’s being unreasonably precious given that she ate meat for 13 and a bit years before this?

And is it unreasonable to refuse to cook her anything else, and tell her she either eats veggie options cooked in the same pan as meat or makes her own meal?

I hadn't read the full thread when I replied earlier but I can't believe how many people see it as a massive hassle. I honestly don't find it a problem catering for veggie dc - tonight's curry for example - similar sauces made in 2 pans both had the same veg but 1 had chicken (which I hate chopping) and one had red lentils. No extra shopping either. All the stuff she eats we have in and I buy anyway. You just have to be a bit more careful checking labels sometimes. Lots of easy veggie recipes.
Cooking and shopping are good life skills to learn for all dcs not just the veggie ones.

You need to respect her choice

I was your daughter turned veggie at 14 difference was my parents cooked everything separately. 31 now still don't eat meat, everything separate. Yabu to not respect her enough

i love the way that mothers are magically expected to produce no matter what the changing demands.

have any of the veggie posters whose parents (? mothers, surely) magically produced food for them considered the cost it might have taken, for someone who learned to cook in an era when small amounts of meat products were considered fundamental for flavour or substance to essentially vegetable-based dishes?

Pyongyang
iwishicouldbelikedavidwatts
*Metoodear
*
I'm with you guys. (Squarely in the minority) Ok the OP probably could have cooked the meatballs in two separate dishes on that occasion but the daughter needs to learn that taking an ethical stand has consequences requiring personal responsibility, effort, time, drudge and faff.

Moreover, that faff shouldn't simply be delegated to her mother who has not made that choice. In this instance, the daughter would need to learn to cook and plan vegetarian meals, and create a shopping list so that the ingredients can be available for her. As has been pointed out, nobody would object cooking a special meat-free meal for a guest, but to commence doing so every single day is another thing entirely.

The mum might offer to learn a few veggie recipes, as a kind gesture, but it would be up to her how much she felt willing or able to deliver, over and above the considerable amount of effort that goes into just getting hot food on the table for one's family.

I find the general consensus on this thread that any decent mum should start cooking their kids separate meals for non-medical reasons absolutely staggering.

TattyFrench Don’t ask the question if you won’t like the answer.

Mmmm yummy veggie balls cooked in meat juice. You know you abvu right?

And having family veggie days is a no go I’m afraid as my older dd is frequently anaemic

Nobody needs to eat meat every meal, anaemia or not.

I find the general consensus on this thread that any decent mum should start cooking their kids separate meals for non-medical reasons absolutely staggering.

It doesn’t have to be a completely separate meal. Most veggie dishes can start out as the same base as a meat dish and then be split.

@PurpleDaisies i really appreciate your offer to supply my family of 4 with healthy vegetarian meals daily. what would i do without the internet?

YABVU. If it's cooked in the same dish as meat then of course it isn't vegetarian! As for the poster who said they have told their vegetarian DD that she'll have to 'pick out the meat' and eat vegetables cooked in the same dish as a chicken... totally speechless/shocked (and I'm not a vegetarian). If someone chooses to become vegetarian you should respect it not force them to eat contaminated food.

@PurpleDaisies i really appreciate your offer to supply my family of 4 with healthy vegetarian meals daily. what would i do without the internet?

If you look on the internet, there are hundreds of easy, healthy vegetarian dishes suitable for a family of four.

contaminated food wtaf? "food that was good enough for all of your ancestors that grew up in a similar geographical area, but i guess they weren't woke enough"

As for the poster who said they have told their vegetarian DD that she'll have to 'pick out the meat'

I missed that one
This thread and some of the responses are reminding me of that episode of Royle Family with Nana, I think it was?
" You can eat a bit of ham, or pick it out!" (can't remember exact quote)
used to laugh but it's clearly funny as it's somewhat true to life it seems

"easy, healthy vegetarian dishes suitable for a family of four, understanding that you have difficulties with finance, space, executive function and children with very specific requirements"

great thanks - link me up :)

IwishIcouldbe - that'll mean contaminated with meat.If you're vegetarian, you're clearly not going to be wanting a dish that's been cooked with meat. As in,it's not veggie as it's got meat at one end of it. Ergo, contaminated with meat and its juices.

@iwishicouldbelikedavidwatts sorry, I meant I couldn't understand your post in the sense of it making sense as a sentence. I can't decipher it.

You are being very unreasonable

"if a 14 year old cannot cook themselves a meal then its time they damn well learned!"

This will no doubt apply to any other children in the household, regardless of their dietary choices? So the vegetarian child isn't being singled out to damn well learn to cook, the same is expected of their siblings.

AssassinatedBeauty

When I read my post back I realised I had missed that important point!

In my house, yes. Cannot speak for others.

@iwishicouldbelikedavidwatts sorry, I meant I couldn't understand your post in the sense of it making sense as a sentence. I can't decipher it.

sorry my executive functioning is shot. if you can quote the problematic sentence i can happily try to explain.

@pinkgirl1234
I’m the same with supplements. Your mum could try more bioavailable iron supplements. You can get this liquid iron supplement from Amazon. It suits me. Could be worth a try.

I don't understand the fuss about cooking for a vegetarian, and do people really eat meat or fish with every meal?

The bit about heavy periods and meat consumption is nonsense as well.

And having family veggie days is a no go I’m afraid as my older dd is frequently anaemic from heavy periods so there’s no way I’m going to reduce her meat consumption to suit dd2

oh dear
That's just ridiculous.

Why could you not do a little saucepan of sauce separate to yours!! Do you use a jar or cook from scratch? Think your being awkward.