To not allow my 11 yo DD to stay at Mixed sleepover

[GreenJanine]

Year 6, best friend, but boys and girls invited they are only 11 and all sleeping in a tent overnight.

Others are allowed but AIBU?

Oh yes and I’m pretty sure a girl at my, (naice, all girls), school was 12 when she had her first baby. It happens.

But I’m guessing not necessarily at a sleepover tbf.

Nope. Too risky. If that makes me a stuffy old mare, so be it.

DD's year 6 class is full of little "going out with" situations. One or two of them pretty intense. There's been bullying when of the sought after boys paid attention to a girl who wasn't his "girlfriend". I think some of you who think that age group won't get up to anything are being rather unrealistic. Big groups of unsupervised kids get up to all sorts. I was at boarding school and there was quite a bit of "experimentation" going on at that age and younger. So no i wouldn't permit this.

11 year old i would be inclined to say yes, most are way too timid/self concious/shy/don't like the opposite sex at all. 13 on the other hand.. i would say no then! I think its a good opportunity for a last mixed sex thing for a while!

Interesting thread as my year 6 ds is about to have a birthday sleepover. He is inviting 4 boys and 1 girl. I sent the girl’s mum a message saying that I would put them all in a room together unless her or her dd were not comfortable with that. She said it was fine to sleep her in the same room as the boys.

I had a mixed sleepover at that age. The worst that happened was that one of the boys showed his bum so we locked him in a wardrobe. All totally innocent!

They're babies though! Surely no hint like that at 10/11?!

We didn’t really do sleepovers at that age. It’s unnecessary. All girls in a bedroom or all boys fine. My issue would be why do they want a mixed sleepover? Those that do probably shouldn’t be participating.

We allowed single sex ones and later parties for them at 16/17. Then it’s clearly alcohol and probabky sex but they are older.

You must know that some 11 year olds are well into puberty
Especially the girls.IME it is often the girls who are instigating things in this younger age group

They are babies though

Some are some are not. Most will have phones and none will have maturity.

my year 6 ds is about to have a birthday sleepover. He is inviting 4 boys and 1 girl. I sent the girl’s mum a message saying that I would put them all in a room together unless her or her dd were not comfortable with that. She said it was fine to sleep her in the same room as the boys

Really? I would rethink I wouldn't want that whilst I was i9n loco parentis

Both my dds started periods at 11.

carycatch 100 No girls are no better or worse than lads in my experience in these matters.

I have ten year old boy girl twins and I wouldn’t allow it.

Mostly because there are several
girls in my DS’s class who are far too interested in him.

It’s not a concern about anyone having sex, or a concern about evil boys.

My concern would be a lack of appropriate privacy for everyone and the potential for a lot of embarrassing silliness on the part of both boys and girls.

I had a mixed sleepover at my house age 11/12. We had a great time! Yes, I’d let them go, my only concern would be if I didn’t know the children invited. IMO, it would be whack kids were going rather than mixed sexes that would be the deciding factor xx

Yes all boys are the bloody devil aren't they . What is the fucking issue with girl mums hating boys all the bloody time. Makes me seethe. I bet you'll raise little darling as a feminist (read alternate word for male hater!!).

They are certainly not babies at this age. Many are well into starting pubity, quit a few girls in DD year 6 class have periods already. And I know for a fact my DH admits to have being way to interested in girl's at an early age.

DD goes on scout camp but I wouldn't allow a mixed sleepover. On camp the leaders know what they are doing plus no one is allowed any electronic devices either.

It really depends on the kids. The vast majority of 11 year olds will be absolutely fine in this situation. They're unlikely to get up to anything they wouldn't find a way of getting up to anyway to be honest.

I don’t think boys are the devil I knowthey can be and so can girls aged 11..

What is the fucking issue with girl mums hating boys all the bloody time

There are boys mum’s (including me) on this thread saying they wouldn’t allow it either.

It’s not about boys being evil (my boy is delightful as is my girl) it’s about parents being sensible and not being naive.

I’m really surprised at the number of people on this thread saying that 11 yo children aren’t interested in the opposite sex.

They certainly were in my day more than 30 years ago and they still are now in my personal experience.

Clearly I am way too innocent. I am surprised to hear about bjs at that sort of age

YANBU, I would not permit this.

I’d say no too!!

wouldn’t allow it if there wasn’t boys in one tent and girls in the other, and adult supervision from someone trained in child protection, like a guide leader.

No offence at all to Guide leaders (I am one) but keeping boys and girls out of each others tents is not actually something you get a lot of experience in through Guide camp, you know with Guides being girls only.

Guides aren't girls only. They've confirmed that boys who identify as girls, are allowed to join.

Happyand shiney

Agree and fondly remember snogging a fellow 11 year old and thank god no one had phones.

It is worrying some people don’t think all 11 year olds are candidates for ‘Marlory Towers’ or ‘The chalet school’

AskAuntLynda

I think a boomis needed at your post. Well said

I wouldn't allow it OP

Surveys show that most 11 year old boys have seen porn.