OK so this will be a long and ranting post.
I have been with my OH for 11 years we have 2 sons 6 and 8. I am currently off work recovering from an operation. I am writing this because I am extremely pissed off and I really want to shout but I don't know if I am being irrational and easily annoyed because I am in pain or not.
My OH has stated since we first started dating that he does not wish to work. We were on jsa after ds1 this went badly with him getting us sanctions twice during the first few months after having ds1. Finding this very frustrating and completely sole destroying I decided when my youngest was about 2 months old I would be the one to go out and work however I also wanted to get my qualifications so I went back to college and university and worked part time. As well as being the person who dropped off picked up kids, did house work as he prefers to sleep all day and apparently need 12 hours sleep. When I first brought up these issues with him he claimed that I would not be able to cope/ do any of this without him. My parents DO NOT AGREE with my decision to be the only one who is working and have made this extremely clear to me ALOT. This has caused a huge issue between myself and my mum as she sees this as me being taken advantage of just now I am at the point of agreeing with her
As I said at the start of the message I am currently off sick from work. I recently had an op to remove an ovarian cyst op got complicated. After a few days recovery he has taken it to mean I can do everything this is not the first time this has happened before after previous ops he then complains when it reoccurs like I have willed it to happen. This is the fourth operation I have had for the same thing this op did not go very well and I have already been told there will be another as I had anaphylaxis during my surgery.
He literally hates my mother he always has he wants me to stop going to her house with the children to see her. At first it was because I was visiting a lot while my gran was ill then it got worse when she passed as it effected my mum really badly and she wasn't coping well so I did check on her a lot.this caused huge arguments between us until I finally gave up and stopped visiting at all leading to my mum not seeing her grandsons often as she has mobility issues and can't get up the stairs in my close. However this led to him claiming that if his mother could visit then so could mine she doesn't have the mobility issues mine does.
He has started smoking weed again he does this alot. This is fine if you are paying for it with money that you have earned and aren't staying up till all hours then sleeping till after 1 pm everyday when you have responsibilitys.
He is constantly lying to me not always big lies sometimes just little ones then tells me I am wrong I didn't listen to him or I just didn't hear what he said. For example In November last year I was phoning a taxi from his phone as I had missed my bus and needed to get to the train station to go to work when a message pooped up on his phone from his ex girlfriend who he has been messaging with for a while. The message was very inappropriate for two people who are "just friends". He claims I read too much into the message but he talks in his sleep. Apparently she is just his best friend who he sends sex messages to.
I am really really not happy. I just want an out or a reasonable solution before I go nuts put him out and change the locks.