To think trying to infiltrate the PTA is a waste of energy?

[channingtatumspecs]

@whyismykid recently asked in AIBU why people didn't volunteer.
I wanted to share my recent experience.
General call for volunteers for the committee to organize a school birthday fete. I contacted the organizers as occasionally get the urge to be a bit more involved in school life, despite working really long hours running a business. Mentioned that i run events and tho I wasn't sure I could give a lot of time and attend multiple meetings I would be happy to use my vendor connections etc.

Anyway after their initial committee meeting the main woman sent me their minutes and said yes pls we'd like to use your connections can you help in XYZ way ?

I read the minutes and sent a lengthy reply about some of the items they wanted to do, and suggested things like "I see the committee decided against this due to budget however I have a vendor who can do this for X amount but have U considered that a local business could sponsor this for X (small) amount and have their logo and contact info on all the take away that each person would get from using this thing. Therefore having this wouldn't cost anything and is a really fun thing to have there that loads of people would want to do. In addition you could charge people a small amount for doing this thing and any revenue could go back to the event.
I also had various other ideas that would not cost them anything if they were a bit creative about it and would make it a really fun event.
Anyway hard to explain without saying exactly what but hope you get the idea.

The response was thanks for that but we don't have budget so we're doing it this way like we always have. I replied to ask if she had properly read my proposal and did she understand that it wouldn't cost anything and haven't heard back again.?!!

I'm inclined to think well who cares I was just trying to make the event less crap but it's nothing to do with me but I'm frustrated that they are so set in their ways they won't consider anything different. This comes back to the fact it is the usual PTA committee doing just their way and I feel a bit slighted !! I am actually glad I didn't volunteer for the committee and give up all my time to attend meetings when any ideas are not welcome anyway!
So AIBU to think that the PTA, despite asking for help, really doesn't welcome it anyway ?

It sounds like a bit of a rubbish response however from their point of view you are suggesting that they do all sorts of different things that they have no experience of but aren’t actually able to support any of it.

You weren’t wrong to make the suggestions but if it it’s of extra work with no extra hands to help I can see why they might think it’s safer to fall back on what they usually do.

Face to face might have been a better approach than on paper.

People, particularly volunteers, aren’t always good with change, you sometimes have to talk them into it.

If you want to get involved I’d have another go. If at first you don’t succeed...

All the pta individuals are probably time restricted, so possibly they don’t have the time to follow your suggestions.

My experience is that some pta leaders do have set ideas though. Not all

Your ideas sound great, but they take time to organise, especially if you haven’t done it that way before. Maybe having someone email them and tell them that they’re doing it all wrong and should spend more of their time doing it your way wasn’t helpful.

There are loads of things our PTA could do if we had more volunteer hours, the people telling us to do it are never able to spend the time sorting it out themselves funnily enough

I found PTA parents resented input from working parents. It was a long time ago thankfully.

Sounds like your email was a lot of you could do this and you could do that - so more work for them to do unfamiliar things or reorganise things they are used to doing certain ways. So from their point of view just more work for them.

Maybe if you'd offered to organise an activity yourself you might have got a better response?

In my PTA experience there are plenty of people telling you how you should do things, but far fewer actually offering to do them.

@Copperbonnet you are suggesting that they do all sorts of different things that they have no experience of but aren’t actually able to support any of it. not at all obviously I have the vendor (and husband and wife team I use for my corporate events) but had also already talked to two friends who have local businesses who expressed interest and I said I would be willing to pitch this

@BouleBaker Maybe having someone email them and tell them that they’re doing it all wrong and should spend more of their time doing it your way wasn’t helpful. not at all. She sent me the minutes and said what can you help with from a supplier / vendor point of view?

My friend’s on a PTA. Those suggestions sound like a lot of effort on top of what they already do. I think they’d have appreciated it if you’d have actually done it rather than just made the suggestions. Some PTA groups are cliquey but many would love to have more members. It’s often because people are doing this in their spare time that they don’t want extra and unfamiliar tasks as well.

@HagueBlue2018 I totally get your point however the approach to me was to send me the minutes and say " we want to do XYZ but with no budget do you have any connections"
I acknowledge perhaps I overstepped my mark but I saw a few things they wanted and dismissed due to budget and stepped in to suggest how they could have these things, I had vendors and could we get them this way? I also talked to several local business owners myself that I know just to see the interest
Would have been more than happy if they said "ok if you can do it by this date go wild" but was more "we don't need a professional vendor we have X Mum saying she can do it from her car boot" sort of thing!
I certainly am not looking down on them or trying to tell them what they're doing wrong without assisting them but I wrote a lengthy email with many ideas,vendors and approaches I was willing to take with their permission and just seemed they didn't want to even consider any of it

They don't know you well enough to trust you to deliver, because you have a job.

Your suggestions sound good but you weren't there in person to persuade and describe to them that it wasn't much effort to get those things done versus how they've always done things. I've done committees before and it's a pain in the arse, same people actually do stuff, difficult to change things because you can't be sure you'll get the help required. Plus people are busy, your suggestions sound like work (even if they're easy to sort). So next time you need to turn up to the meeting and then take on tasks. If you can't attend meetings, then don't be surprised if your suggestions aren't acted upon. Just support the fundraising by turning up on the day and spending money.

There is a difference between critiquing the way people are already doing things and taking over, and actually helping them with their tasks. They have no idea if they can actually trust you to do these things, deliver these ideas, represent the school well, get on with all the people involved, be punctual, reliable and show up on the day.
Try helping for a while to earn their trust and prove your reliability before you stage your reformation.

Yours may be different of course, but negotiating advertising in exchange for free or cheap services would be vetoed by our school.

@FannyFaceAche ok I get your point. But part of me (that isn't confident and assertive) isn't sure I COULD stand up in that meeting and say "how about this" in case it was dismissed ! Also as PP said they don't know me - the fact that if I said I'd sort something I would do it well - how would they know- as someone that uses casual staff I know it's more common to be let down!
Taken on board! Perhaps next time I'll join properly
Sadly the timing this time was when I have 3 events myself for work and will be overseas on the school fair date anyway. I guess I just wanted to help if I could and felt a bit slighted that my first foray wasn't received well
But I accept that why should they as who am I?

@Lemongingertea80 I certainly wasn't critiquing but absolutely agree with the rest of your post. I am reliable and trustworthy but how the heck would they know that ?!

Is also like to say in my defence that I planned to go to initial meeting but it was at 6pm on a weekday. I work downtown and traffic is awful and on a normal day am home by 7ish. To make it I would have had to leave work at 4.30pm or even earlier .
I just looked at it and realized if I can't make Even the first meeting when they're talking about a weekly thing I'm just going to end up letting them down and being badly thought of. If some consideration could have been made to commuting parents (surely not just mothers ?) then i was totally up for it seeing as I do it for a job!!
At my work we use Skype for example I wonder if something like that could be useful

@Monty27 I'm not sure if anyone else noticed but it seems like you're trying to shit stir on an otherwise productive feedback thread
I quote
I found PTA parents resented input from working parents.
They don't know you well enough to trust you to deliver, because you have a job.

If you have nothing productive to say then go away

IMO, the pta only want your help if they can stick you in the kitchen to do the washing up. They want to keep all the glory for themselves and their little clique will not be infiltrated by an outsider with any thoughts or opinions that may take any limelight away from them.

I'd contribute your lemon drizzle cake for the bake sale and leave them to it.

channingtatumspecs perhaps I have been too direct. However I think others have said the same more or less.

If the way you just spoke to Monty is an indication of your general demeanour, then they've probably acted on instinct and want you at arms length.

Channing I agree with you about Monty's comments.

Sounds like you did have some good ideas and did offer practical help, but maybe just too late to change things this year? Eg if X Mum had offered to do something out of her car boot and been accepted it would be a bit of a slap in the face to say to her "don't bother, we've got a better offer".

@Monty27 @AjasLipstick sorry if I misconstrued but Monty's replies seemed to only focus on the fact that I would be accepted if I didn't have a job. I felt either she was demeaning the PTA or was being sarcastic towards me by suggesting that I was thinking they hate me "cos I have a job"
Apologies if I read that totally wrongly

@AjasLipstick If the way you just spoke to Monty is an indication of your general demeanour, then they've probably acted on instinct and want you at arms length. oh for goodness sake !!