To think trying to infiltrate the PTA is a waste of energy?

[channingtatumspecs]

@whyismykid recently asked in AIBU why people didn't volunteer.
I wanted to share my recent experience.
General call for volunteers for the committee to organize a school birthday fete. I contacted the organizers as occasionally get the urge to be a bit more involved in school life, despite working really long hours running a business. Mentioned that i run events and tho I wasn't sure I could give a lot of time and attend multiple meetings I would be happy to use my vendor connections etc.

Anyway after their initial committee meeting the main woman sent me their minutes and said yes pls we'd like to use your connections can you help in XYZ way ?

I read the minutes and sent a lengthy reply about some of the items they wanted to do, and suggested things like "I see the committee decided against this due to budget however I have a vendor who can do this for X amount but have U considered that a local business could sponsor this for X (small) amount and have their logo and contact info on all the take away that each person would get from using this thing. Therefore having this wouldn't cost anything and is a really fun thing to have there that loads of people would want to do. In addition you could charge people a small amount for doing this thing and any revenue could go back to the event.
I also had various other ideas that would not cost them anything if they were a bit creative about it and would make it a really fun event.
Anyway hard to explain without saying exactly what but hope you get the idea.

The response was thanks for that but we don't have budget so we're doing it this way like we always have. I replied to ask if she had properly read my proposal and did she understand that it wouldn't cost anything and haven't heard back again.?!!

I'm inclined to think well who cares I was just trying to make the event less crap but it's nothing to do with me but I'm frustrated that they are so set in their ways they won't consider anything different. This comes back to the fact it is the usual PTA committee doing just their way and I feel a bit slighted !! I am actually glad I didn't volunteer for the committee and give up all my time to attend meetings when any ideas are not welcome anyway!
So AIBU to think that the PTA, despite asking for help, really doesn't welcome it anyway ?

@TheOnlyLivingMumInNewCross this thread alone is making that abundantly clear!
I really was only trying to help and got prob a bit over excited about what could be done to make it great . Was not patronizing or superior or trying to take over !!
I think I'll just go back to my office and forget this ever happened

I'm on the committee of my school's PTA and I also work, as do most of the parents on it. I recognise that I can't always commit time and attend meetings, but I help where I can, both with ideas and the physical stuff.
There is an element of the ideas people having brainwaves which people buy into and then wandering off to let everyone else sort out the minutiae, which can be frustrating.
I understand you couldn't attend the meeting, but with many of these situations, especially when you're planning something new/different, it's more effective if you do it face to face.

channingtatumspecs - I understand you completely.

About 6 months after my DS started school (we are in OZ) a friend asked If I wanted to come along to a "P and C" meeting. Same as PTA.
We were both in that part time working mums phase of our lives plus I was doing a part time University course.

Got shot down in flames by the established group. Any suggestions were met with "Already tried that, doesn't work"and then we were totally ignored.

I was quite happy not to go back but friend was very persistent and kept dragging me along.

At the same time we were volunteering for academic help in the school and became very friendly with the Principal of the school.

She came along to the next meeting. Sat quietly and listened and at the end of the night gave a magnificent speech regarding new blood, new ideas, etc.

At the end of the school year, most of the current committee left because their DCs left the school. After that we had a wonderful P and C. Making sure that all new parents to the school were well and truly welcomed and existing parents at the school arrived in droves once all the dragons had left.

@Pengggwn ok got it! Though it was unclear when sent the whole agenda and asked generally "what vendors do you know" which parts I could and could not comment on. I guess I should have asked. Honestly I wasn't trying to be rude disrespectful patronizing take over or anything else. Genuinely got excited that this was some thing I thought I could help with but I obviously got the wrong end of the stick from the start and won't volunteer again for fear of offending anyone of overstepping my mark

channingtatumspecs

Or, rather than never volunteering again, you could try not overstepping the mark?

Anyway, good luck.

@Pengggwn ok then ! Glad you've enjoyed telling me off !!

It's been cracking.

@Pengggwn and you've illustrated my original point to a T

As a general rule of thumb I leave the pta well alone. At our school it’s populated by mums who don’t work, don’t really know what to do with themselves now the kids have started school. Don’t want anyone who can’t meet for the coffee and planning meetings at 10:30 am on a Friday and get their knickers in a twist over pointless shit cos they have the time. I give my volunteering time to beavers instead where they are grateful for every minute you can spare

OP if you really want to get involved you need to try and get to a meeting. Talk through your ideas to a group of people and get a general consensus from all, not just the one woman you were emailing.

channingtatumspecs

In what way?

Maybe they prefer the old fashioned family day out style for their school birthday, a celebration of the school...rather than corporate sponsorship and advertising of firms not connected with the school or its history?

You need to attend the meetings. Once things are decided by committee and minuted you would have to raise it again at committee if you don’t agree.

@Imchangingmyname OP if you really want to get involved you need to try and get to a meeting. to be fair there's been one meeting. I'm not sure I feel motivated to go to the nxt

This used to give me the rage when I was on the PTA. A ' business' person swans in with a great new idea but expects the existing people to do the graft. Seen it so many times.

@BarbaraWarpecker Maybe they prefer the old fashioned family day out style for their school birthday, a celebration of the school...rather than corporate sponsorship and advertising of firms not connected with the school or its history? perhaps but to be clear they want to have a photo booth. They're going to have a bedsheet and props and let people take photos on their phone. My suggestion was using a vendor I know that has a real photo booth as well as props and you get old fashioned photo strips to keep. My suggestion was if someone local (dentist? Soft play?) for example wanted to pay for the booth they could have it for free
Hardly globalization but perhaps to forward thinking for the school fete

Oh sorry to confirm the photo strips could have a logo on them- so that's what someone would pay for

@Pengggwn In what way? I don't feel the need to explain this to you.

It's difficult OP. You work in the corporate events world. This is the PTA.
They want people who say 'I could get/borrow XYZ free/at very little cost from work/from my contacts. Would you like me to arrange it?'

You seem to have bombarded them with ideas but you have to remember that they may not understand how the corporate events business works & have no clue how to implement your ideas.

PTA at DS's school is probably more than 50% working parents. The majority of event planning takes place by e-mail, everyone who's interested is copied in and then we pitch up about an hour or two before doors open and get on with it.

I'd like to think everyone is welcome. Those who have been involved for a while and have kids at the older end of the school are conscious that "new blood" needs to be fostered for a year or two so they feel confident to take the reigns when the old blood moves on.

While everyone is welcome, some people turn out to be a flash in the pan, or have ideas that throw a spanner in the works when they fail to deliver. There is a lot to be said for being at an event from the filling of the tea urn to the taking out the bin bags and saying good night to the janitor. In my experience, you have no idea how exhausting it can be till you have done it.

We have people that don't get their hands dirty at events but can be relied on to do some other thing that they are good at. One mum has an amazing talent for getting raffle prizes out of local businesses - that might be a good place get your foot in the door?

New person, with no track history of actually delivering what they promise, makes suggestions that entirely change the planned activity.

PTA say no thank you, either cruelly, or more likely because school policy doesn't allow it, or they don't have the manpower to sort things out if OP doesn't deliver.

New person suggests PTA are stupid and didn't actually understand their proposal.

PTA, busy with their lives and not particularly liking being treated as if they are idiots, don't reply.

New person gets arsey on social media and refuses to accept they could be wrong.

PTA realises they dodged a bullet...

@channingtatumspecs yes I would.
Our new school asked me to join and I said no. Felt bad doing it but I think DH would leave me if I got involved again. The only thing I've agreed to do is a Prom for year 6 as I have a mate with disco lights, but that's being organised by a group of the girls from that year group, my daughter being one of them and school had said no if they couldn't find a DJ as it costs too much. Any hint of PTA getting involved and I think DD would tell them to naff right off

@Downtheroadfirstonleft New person gets arsey on social media and refuses to accept they could be wrong. I think I've been quite clear in my responses that this is not the case

My suggestion was using a vendor I know that has a real photo booth as well as props and you get old fashioned photo strips to keep.

These cost around £200/250 for 2 hrs to hire.

A local company would possibly sponsor it in exchange for a logo so that you get it free.
But...

1. would the photo booth company allow that? They have their logo at the bottom.
2. how much would you charge? £1 a strip? You would need to sell 250 strips in 2hrs to make it worth while.

A homemade booth is much more fun! Sheet and props & an instant camera! I'm pinching this idea!!

As someone who has done a lot of volunteering work, I know that all voluntary groups get people contacting them who say - you should do this and that - but not willing to do the work themselves. Its always - just contact this person, just do this, just do that. Very annoying.
It always amazes me though how people who work in professional jobs will behave in a way like this, that they would never think of doing at work.
When you start a new job, you suss things out first before trying to make any changes. And you plan how to make those changes. Because you need to understand why certain decisions are made first. That matters even more in a voluntary group where there may be very good reasons for decisions that are not clearly communicated in policy documents. Sponsorship for example is often a controversial subject and many groups will only accept sponsorship from particular companies.
Generally if you think - how would I approach this if it was a new job, you won't go blundering in alienating everyone.