To ask you what to do in this situation ?

[upnorthlassie]

Can't for the life of me think what is appropriate in this situation.
My partner (male) is looking after our 2 sons who are 6 months and 2.5yrs as well as a neighbour's daughter who is 5 (just turned) tomorrow.
He's planning to take them out to some museums etc, packed lunches , all good.
He is now wondering what to do if he needs the loo, as he would normally have either me to watch the kids or they would just go into a large toilet with him plus buggy etc.
What should he do since neighbours daughter is female obviously and is currently undergoing an investigation regarding sexual abuse from her father so want to limit any possible confusion iyswim.

Was going to say he uses the males she’s only 5?

5 is old enough for her to use the ladies , and he can wait outside with the 2 boys?

Maybe see if he can clock where a disabled toilet is in each place he goes, and wait with your two boys for the little girl just outside?

Sorry, I've read that wrongly.
I really don't know! Bit scary to leave her outside on her own - even if talking constantly through the door.

Hopefully another poster will be more helpful!

But what about if he needs the loo??

Some places not all will had family toilets. If you've ever been to mothercare a lot of their baby changing rooms also contain a toilet that is within a cubical. Maybe he should check ahead if this is something he is concerned about or speak to the girls mother and ask her opinion on it? At 7 my dad used to take me into the male toilets while he went and just made me cover my eyes

He should explain the situation to the desk and they will allow him - or them all! to use the disabled. DH was in similar situations many times.

That's an especially tricky one given the 5 year olds specific circumstances. I would say possibly tomorrow would be a day for some more house based fun. I don't think I'd like to take. 6 month old, 2.5 yr old and someone else's 5 year old to a museum even under normal circumstances.

Can he ask her Mum what she would prefer him to do? She must trust him to be letting him take her daughter out for the day.

Only a very small flat so staying home the entire day just isn't an option, I would've sent them off to a NT property for the day but it's looking rainy

Is everyone missing the ongoing investigation into possible sexual abuse the 5 year old is under. Everyone wants female only safe spaces but are quite happy for this potentially very vulnerable 5 year old to go into the male toilets.

That is tricky. I would definitely ask the mum/guardian what to do.

If she needs the loo I’d let her use disabled/family toilet and wait outside (check ahead with mum that this will be ok). If he needs loo best option would be to ask a member of staff to wait with all 3 kids outside loos while he nips in.

As the Mum

I hear you little but she would be going into the men's toilets with a protective adult male.

My dh used to take particularly dd2 in and check before he let her in, escort her to a cubicle etc. Usually I'd recommend that but in these specific circumstances I'm not sure.

I am the only one that has noticed that there has been more than one other thread on here this evening regarding little girls needing to use the toilet.

It could be a coincidence, and I do apologise if this is genuine, you’ve also mentioned that the “little girl” in question is undergoing an investigation of sexual abuse, this may be going off subject but if that was my daughter I wouldn’t be allowing her to go anywhere with another man unless I was there.

A museum is a family place, the only thing that I can think of is that he could ask a lady who is out with her children (at the toilet entrance - ladies and mens are usually situated side by side) if she could just mind the children for 2 minutes whilst he quickly goes.

Actually I think more has it.

I would ask someone working there (female) to stand outside with her if he needs the toilet but I would try and make sure that it was the disabled toilet so that she was just outside it.

A lot of big shopping centres have a family room with a loo / baby changing facilitys but even then he may feel uncomfortable , perhaps give her his phone to play a game / watch a video on esp if he has head phones for it so she does not try to talk to / watch him ( kids will be kids )

Failing that hope for a disabled loo and a kind member of staff to open it .
It would be worth going on to each places web site to see what toilets are available

@MrsHappyAndMrCool certainly not a troll, Long term lurker and poster.
The reason he is looking after the kids all day is because I am accompanying the Mum to a court hearing regarding said investigations.

I agree - why is your oh looking after her? Rings alarm bells to me
Aside from that I wouldn’t go anywhere alone with a baby, a 2.5, a 5 year old!! Madness. It’ll be chaos.
If he must go out with them then stick to a picnic in the park
But really - the poor girl should not be left with a strange male alone tomorrow. It’s highly inappropriate

I would ask the girls mum what she thinks is appropriate as it's not a straightforward situation with the current investigation!
My DH will happily take DD into the men's, the one time he let her go into the ladies alone she managed to lock herself in and had to have the door kicked down! (We can laugh about it now!).

Although if girls mum knows that your DP is looking after her girl during the day surely she will already expect that she may need some help at the loo during the day?

You watch the kid with him - that’s the best thing for the child

When she comes to ours she uses the bathroom by herself (maybe not managing to flush !) but the rest of it is fine , Bar her skirt being tucked into her tights half the time which I have reminded her about many times

@applesandpears56 he is looking after her as the Mum asked him to as she has no family here to help out and we are close by.