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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I dont know what to do - chip shop dilemma

116 replies

DeepFatFriar · 29/05/2018 17:26

NC as massively outing.

I am self employed and so is my partner. The vast, vast majority of our income comes from my work which is way more lucrative. This is relevant.

DP has a chipper (its actually a chip shop in a food truck style set up).

Business has been OK - enough for him to survive on but thats about it which i know frustrates him.

He works in it with his sister - his sister just arrives to do the services, hes the one who does all the prep, taking deliveries, etc.

August is his busiest month and it can sometimes bring him in double other months.

Without telling him beforehand, his sister booked herself a holiday with the kids for the first 2 weeks of August.

He was fucking livid.

He then got over it and started hinting that rather than hire someone temporarily etc etc, he would feel better if i could replace her for two weeks.

Grudgingly i said yes.

Except now i dont know.

The thing is because the chipper is a bit away from where we live, i would have to leave in the car with him at 9am, hang around or help prep, start a shift at noon and end at 1.30. I would then have to wait foe him to tidy and clean up, do the accounts, etc, meaning im not back home til 4pm. On days when theres also an evening shift, i would have to wait around and do 6.30 to 9.30pm.

I cant get back home because i dont have a car.

So effectively, this means i would need to either not do my own work for those 2 weeks, or come home and do my own work in the evenings which sounds fucking awful. Having said that, august is sometimes a slow month for me - i cant predict how busy i will be.

On the other hand i know this means a lot to him and im worried he would feel let down now, or that his family would think im selfish.

Is it mean not to help him when i could?

WWYD?

OP posts:
DeepFatFriar · 29/05/2018 17:27

Oh yeah and aside from the potential loss of income - the more i think about it the more i just dont want to even if i could Confused

It gets absolutely boiling in there and will be even worse in august.

OP posts:
CharliesSister · 29/05/2018 17:28

Where's the sister in all this? What's she contributing to balance the extra work and loss of earnings?

Furano · 29/05/2018 17:29

Pull out now so he has time to get a replacement

lamerde · 29/05/2018 17:30

Could you compromise and do a week?

DeepFatFriar · 29/05/2018 17:30

@CharliesSister
Good question.
She was like: Ok, sorry i didnt inform you, but i want a family holiday in august. Anyway, you need a break too.
He was like: But august is our biggest month, why the fuck didnt you discuss it with me or go on holiday in july or september?

So yeah...

OP posts:
TSSDNCOP · 29/05/2018 17:31

It’s the school holidays, do you know any kids going to Uni in Sept, the ones I know would bite your arm off for extra cash.

Deshasafraisy · 29/05/2018 17:31

Best be honest and get out of it now, the longer you leave it the worse it will be

DeepFatFriar · 29/05/2018 17:32

@TSSDNCOP
Here's the thing, his sister is paid cash in hand and i think hes worried about taking someone on on that basis and then word getting round (please dont hammer into me for that, theres nothing i can do about that, its literally not my business).

OP posts:
DeepFatFriar · 29/05/2018 17:33

@Deshasafraisy
But would you back out or would you just do it?

OP posts:
Haudyerwheesht · 29/05/2018 17:36

Until the cash in hand thing I was going to say do it.

Notevilstepmother · 29/05/2018 17:38

How much would a taxi cost you to arrive at 12 and leave at 2? Then you could help him and do your work.

Or can you drop him off in the morning and keep the car (do you drive?).

TSSDNCOP · 29/05/2018 17:39

I won’t hammer you. I’d say a teen is still your best bet.

PolkerrisBeach · 29/05/2018 17:40

He needs to hire someone else. It doesn't make financial sense for you to do it. This is why I pay a cleaner even though I work for myself at home. I can earn more in an hour than it costs to pay the cleaner, so we're better off.

TheOneWith · 29/05/2018 17:41

His sister is an “employee” (in quotes, as he pays her cash in hand Hmm) and is entitled to take a holiday. She’s given him plenty of notice. He’s a cheeky fucker to be “livid” at her.

Tell him to employ someone, or suck it up and do it all himself.

He can’t be a tax dodger and then bleat about losing money at the busiest time of year, the whiney bastard.

PolkerrisBeach · 29/05/2018 17:42

And I'm assuming that the sister isn't declaring her earnings for tax? That needs to change. Now.

DeepFatFriar · 29/05/2018 17:42

@Notevilstepmother
Probably around £25 one way so not an option. I dont drive!

His mums house is a 15 minute walk away so i guess i could pack my laptop and go to hers to work in between - its just a bit of a hassle.

I suppose technically it would be possible but the 2 real issues are:

  • i just dont want to, and
  • im fucked off that whilst his sister is on holiday im working two jobs to cover her selfishness
OP posts:
DailyMailDontStealMyThread · 29/05/2018 17:43

A teen local to where the van is is the answer. You could offer to do a couple of shifts but it’s not going to work alongside your work full time job is it?

Just talk to him.

DeepFatFriar · 29/05/2018 17:44

@TheOneWith
Urgh. I know. Particularly annoying as a fellow business owner here who pays all her tax (the nature of mine means theres no escaping it even if i wanted to!).

I just feel a bit like - look i love you and im your partner, but this is your business so sort it out and find a solution.

OP posts:
TheOneWith · 29/05/2018 17:45

im fucked off that whilst his sister is on holiday im working two jobs to cover her selfishness

You’re having a laugh right? She’s given you both LOADS of notice.

wellhonestly · 29/05/2018 17:45

Can you drive his car? That way you would get back at least once a day.

BPG20 · 29/05/2018 17:46

It's really not selfish of his sister to want a holiday in what I assume are her children's school holidays.

SandAndSea · 29/05/2018 17:46

I think hiring someone else sounds like the much better option, esp as your business earns more and you don't want to do it.

Don't worry what others think of you - it's no one else's business.

wellhonestly · 29/05/2018 17:48

Sorry, x-post.

DeepFatFriar · 29/05/2018 17:48

@TheOneWith
OK Im willing to change my stance on that, you have a point.

OP posts:
ginnybag · 29/05/2018 17:48

He needs to hire a teen, yep.

But, he needs to change how it works with his sister. Two weeks in the school summer hols when she's got kids is absolutely normal... when else can she take two weeks together without taking them out of school?

Too, if they ever fall out, she could absolutely rinse him in court. Can he even prove he's paid her?