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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I dont know what to do - chip shop dilemma

116 replies

DeepFatFriar · 29/05/2018 17:26

NC as massively outing.

I am self employed and so is my partner. The vast, vast majority of our income comes from my work which is way more lucrative. This is relevant.

DP has a chipper (its actually a chip shop in a food truck style set up).

Business has been OK - enough for him to survive on but thats about it which i know frustrates him.

He works in it with his sister - his sister just arrives to do the services, hes the one who does all the prep, taking deliveries, etc.

August is his busiest month and it can sometimes bring him in double other months.

Without telling him beforehand, his sister booked herself a holiday with the kids for the first 2 weeks of August.

He was fucking livid.

He then got over it and started hinting that rather than hire someone temporarily etc etc, he would feel better if i could replace her for two weeks.

Grudgingly i said yes.

Except now i dont know.

The thing is because the chipper is a bit away from where we live, i would have to leave in the car with him at 9am, hang around or help prep, start a shift at noon and end at 1.30. I would then have to wait foe him to tidy and clean up, do the accounts, etc, meaning im not back home til 4pm. On days when theres also an evening shift, i would have to wait around and do 6.30 to 9.30pm.

I cant get back home because i dont have a car.

So effectively, this means i would need to either not do my own work for those 2 weeks, or come home and do my own work in the evenings which sounds fucking awful. Having said that, august is sometimes a slow month for me - i cant predict how busy i will be.

On the other hand i know this means a lot to him and im worried he would feel let down now, or that his family would think im selfish.

Is it mean not to help him when i could?

WWYD?

OP posts:
LookAtThatCritter · 29/05/2018 18:15

Jeez it’s only 2 weeks - help your partner out!!

MrsJayy · 29/05/2018 18:19

A local 16year old would do a fortnight cash in hand chippy job suggest to your husband to suggest to his sister.because she is C iH she is taking the piss.

GreenTulips · 29/05/2018 18:19

DD works cash in hand over the busiest 2 weeks where we live as do most of the kids round here.

Some do 'work experience' and are given 'pocket money'

It's easy to find students - some will Ben looking to be chefs and need some experience

MrsJayy · 29/05/2018 18:22

Totally what greentulips said he can get somebody for 2 weeks

notapizzaeater · 29/05/2018 18:24

Uni kids will be home - just employ one of them, it's always good to have someone else trained up, what I'd his sister was sick ?

Thespringsthething · 29/05/2018 18:31

This is the ideal time to get him away from the idea that only he and his sister can work in the van, plus you- and get a student/someone else in as a regular. He really works very limited hours, the people I know in a similar industry work 12 hour days, staying open til 3am to get the after-pub trade. He only opens 4 and a half hours a day, it's no wonder he's not really making so much money.

user139328237 · 29/05/2018 18:32

I'm guessing if the takings double in August it is a rather touristy area which may cause complications in finding a willing teenager (as there is probably sufficient businesses offering jobs for the whole summer holiday for those who want them).

Original poster
DeepFatFriar · 29/05/2018 18:32

@JennyHolzersGhost
@SandAndSea

Well i mean exactly, if i were a successful SE man would this be my problem, or would my girlfriend be expected to sort her own temp staff out for her business?

Also off the top of my head he has three unemployed close mates so ummm, why should i struggle around doing 2 jobs when they could be earning cash?

OP posts:
jedenfalls · 29/05/2018 18:33

I don’t think the sister is the right person for the job.

Loads of jobs are highly seasonal, and I’ve worked a good few NMW jobs where no leave is allowed at peak times (pubs at Christmas for one)

But..also…

With my arse wedged on the fence

Your DH is a bit of a dick, he needs more than one member of staff available in case of illness and to cover leave. And also if he can’t make ends meet legally then it’s time to knock it on the head.

Gacapa · 29/05/2018 18:34

Well I guess this is what happens when you get a family member to work cash in hand. There are no safeguards for either party. It's all pretty lawless. If I were him I'd be grateful she hasn't injured herself or others while working there and that he doesn't have to give her any holiday or sick pay etc. and if I were her I'd think about why she believes herself above contributing tax to the country.

In short, the whole set up pretty much safeguards neither of them. You either work by the rules or you don't.

Original poster
DeepFatFriar · 29/05/2018 18:35

@GreenTulips
The other thing is he has a nephew who is at catering college. The nephew has a summer job already but surely he must have shitloads of coursemates?

I guess a part of me is rankled as someone said, like am i just the nearest woman to pass this on to?
He said he prefers to have another woman working with him because it draws in more custom (great). Also i have an unusual accent fpr the region and he thinks that would boost trade - LOL!

OP posts:
jedenfalls · 29/05/2018 18:36

So. ... no don’t do it.

Your income is more important, his is a glorified hobby by the sounds of it.

If his family moan you can tell them that someone has to make the actual money. And it is NOT worth propping up a crap business at the expense of the good one.

Original poster
DeepFatFriar · 29/05/2018 18:37

@Gacapa
Re the sister, she has a FT job! She works the chipper on her lunch break and after work bless her. So the chipper money is jist extra tax free £££ every month.

OP posts:
TheOneWith · 29/05/2018 18:38

He doesn’t want to take anyone else on - as he’s worried about word getting out and him getting done for paying cash in hand.

And really LOL at all the suggestions of restricting SIL’s approved holidays during busy periods - I don’t think you get to issue an employee handbook with rules and regulations when you’re tax dodging.

So he either does it all himself, or OP helps out.

OP I think you should help him out. Two weeks on a greasy van, boiling in August, stinking of chip fat, might give you a new appreciation for your SIL. I bet he sits off on his arse most of the day while she does the skivvying, he sounds just the type.

BlueJava · 29/05/2018 18:40

I would definitely be helping my DP if could. I'd also gently tell him that he needs to stop treating family like cheap labour and get his DS registered for tax and have her as a proper employee. If the whole thing doesn't work (financially) if she is paid correctly then perhaps it's time to re-assess options on what else he could do. I don't believe his DS is being selfish either - she doesn't have to work for him unless she wants to and she has given good notice that she won't be there in August.

Branleuse · 29/05/2018 18:41

its only two weeks and you said your business is often slow in august, so i think just suck it up and do it

Branleuse · 29/05/2018 18:42

or do the earlier bit and get a teen to do the last shift

Original poster
DeepFatFriar · 29/05/2018 18:45

@Branleuse
Urgh. I know i guess i should. I guess its just as i mentioned earlier the fact he has close mates who are unemployed and a catering college nephew it just makes me think why meeeeeee!!!!

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 29/05/2018 18:46

He has unemployed mates?? Tell him to ask them, surely he can see its better for both of you if you're working

PolkaHots · 29/05/2018 18:47

If he has close mates who a unemployed, then no, don’t do it.

Unless he is the type who massively puts himself out for you and you know he would really appreciate it.

StealthPolarBear · 29/05/2018 18:47

Yes what jeden said

Original poster
DeepFatFriar · 29/05/2018 18:47

@StealthPolarBear
He prefers a woman he said cuz he thinks it boosts trade, plus i bet he'll say he cant rely on them to do a good job.

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 29/05/2018 18:48

Why would a woman boost trade??

bunbunny · 29/05/2018 18:50

Just point out that he caught you on the hop but that now you have had a time to sit down and work it all out you can see that it really won't work out well as it's going to screw your business and the family income.

But that as you have had a chance to think about it too, you have several viable alternatives (and then list off as many different ones as you can think of, as you've already outlined previously on here, complete with pros and cons).

Can you persuade him to take on whoever he takes on as not cash in hand - but as self employed -so they are responsible for their own taxes? That way at least he is not on the hook for them. Even if he has to increase the wage to cover this. Or is the entire chipper cash in hand?

Also - if august is usually a quiet month for you and you're usually busy for a lot of the rest of the year, it means you are not getting your down time which is when you have a chance to refresh and relax and recuperate and get ready and recharged for the year ahead (and any other r words that I should have included Grin). That's going to have knock on effects on you and your ability to do your business - not just for those couple of weeks but for the year ahead. Something you really want to avoid.

And point out as others have done on here that your sil told him early and likewise you are telling him early so that he has a chance to sort somebody out in good time - he's got a couple of months and that you're not going to step in at the last minute, he needs to find a solution that works for both of you, not just for him!

Original poster
DeepFatFriar · 29/05/2018 18:52

@StealthPolarBear
Oh you know because we're so smiley and cute and chatty and smell nice and shit

OP posts:
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