I dont know what to do - chip shop dilemma

[DeepFatFriar]

NC as massively outing.

I am self employed and so is my partner. The vast, vast majority of our income comes from my work which is way more lucrative. This is relevant.

DP has a chipper (its actually a chip shop in a food truck style set up).

Business has been OK - enough for him to survive on but thats about it which i know frustrates him.

He works in it with his sister - his sister just arrives to do the services, hes the one who does all the prep, taking deliveries, etc.

August is his busiest month and it can sometimes bring him in double other months.

Without telling him beforehand, his sister booked herself a holiday with the kids for the first 2 weeks of August.

He was fucking livid.

He then got over it and started hinting that rather than hire someone temporarily etc etc, he would feel better if i could replace her for two weeks.

Grudgingly i said yes.

Except now i dont know.

The thing is because the chipper is a bit away from where we live, i would have to leave in the car with him at 9am, hang around or help prep, start a shift at noon and end at 1.30. I would then have to wait foe him to tidy and clean up, do the accounts, etc, meaning im not back home til 4pm. On days when theres also an evening shift, i would have to wait around and do 6.30 to 9.30pm.

I cant get back home because i dont have a car.

So effectively, this means i would need to either not do my own work for those 2 weeks, or come home and do my own work in the evenings which sounds fucking awful. Having said that, august is sometimes a slow month for me - i cant predict how busy i will be.

On the other hand i know this means a lot to him and im worried he would feel let down now, or that his family would think im selfish.

Is it mean not to help him when i could?

WWYD?

My guess is he was flipping out over his sister, even though it's perfectly reasonable for her to go on holiday in the school holidays, and to pacify him you said I'll do it!

I'd honestly let him shut up shop rather than work two jobs, one in a chip shop over August when it's boiling. This might be mean, but I just wouldn't do it.

@Thespringsthething
Its fucking boiling and to make it qorse its on the roadside of a really busy road in the middle of fucking nowhere so you cant even step out and be like "oh isnt this nice, im part of a lovely festive atmosphere"

deepfat you are not selling it to me. Just say no.

It’s sounding more appealing by the minute.

OP quit your job and work the chipper full time.

Say no. I don't think what he's asking you is reasonable at all.

im just going to be sitting on my arse examining my ear wax made me laugh, though.

I had a family member with a chip van and I did a lot of unpaid work (was supposed to be paid but never actually was) in between my 2 other jobs. I stank, my feet hurt, the customers were frequently pissed and my relationship with the family member has never really recovered.
Don't do it.

As a small business owner who pays her tax, I have to say that your DP and SiL sound like complete arses.

Apart from stealing from the rest of us, what other bits of red tape does he consider optional? Public liability insurance? Health and safely? Hygiene inspections?

No way would I allow my teenager to work for your husband. He sounds irresponsible and lacking in management skills. It's up to him to produce his wage, why should others have to help out?

His sister is doing the right thing. I hope she has a fabulous holiday. Sun, sea and sand. And a visit to a proper chip shop.

@Elendon
Nobodys helping him produce his wage....? He pays his sister!

I hope your partner is paying his sister holiday pay which she’s surely entitled to?

I'm a bit confused by your AIBU. You've made it clear over 5 pages that you don't want to do it and that you think your DP is both sexist and taking the piss. I'm starting to wonder why you're with him at all tbh.

You don't want to do it. You've come up with several alternatives. Stop moaning about it and tell him you've changed your mind!

But I have to agree with TinklyLittleLaugh: Apart from stealing from the rest of us, what other bits of red tape does he consider optional? Public liability insurance? Health and safely? Hygiene inspections?

Why don't you just all go on holiday for those 2 weeks in August?

Jeez it’s only 2 weeks - help your partner out!!

FFS......... this!

Nooo. Don't you dare help him out.

Make him grow up and run the business properly. That includes sorting out cover when it's needed, for example when your helpful family member gives you 2 months notice that she's going on a family summer holiday in August.

Don't step in and make life easy for him, particularly when it's going to make it bloody miserable for you, particularly if you do get a job in, plus you're not going to be able to have a quieter period in your own business - those are really important - not only for you to recharge your batteries to recuperate and come back all fresh and enthusiastic (whereas doing this is going to completely and doubly knacker you out if you have to do it alongside your own job, not to mention end up baking hot and sweaty and smelling of chip shop), but it's not going to give you that time to sort yourself out, catch up on all the keeping up to date in the industry that gets put off when you're busy, making sure you're all up to date with your paperwork, thinking about new marketing/procedures/services/etc that all happen when you have that bit of quieter time in the office. They're needed.

Big breath and practice telling him that now you've had a chance to think it through, it's not going to work but it's ok because he has 2 months to sort it out and here are some ideas of where he can get somebody... Then go and do it before you chicken out!

Have you had a chance to discuss with him, OP? I think probably the sooner the better for both your sakes.