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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

All men fancy younger women

477 replies

Violetshift · 28/05/2018 22:39

I think I am insanely jealous. So don’t know whether I am BU?

My partner has started tutoring a 19 year old. He is a teacher but she is resisting as she wants a grade 9.

He hasn’t said much about her. I showed him a Facebook picture of her as I know of her. He said she is prettier than that in real life.
Now he thinks this is subjective and nothing untoward. Like he thinks our daughter is pretty.

AIBU and just a jealous hag?

OP posts:
Dungeondragon15 · 29/05/2018 13:15

I don't believe that DH would prefer to look at women between 18 and 25 at all. Perhaps that is psychological because younger women would remind him of his children and their friends but I wouldn't say that women in their 30s are necessarily less attractive those in their 20s. He would probably prefer women in their 30s of all ages.

boilerhouse2007 · 29/05/2018 13:25

''but I wouldn't say that women in their 30s are necessarily less attractive those in their 20s. ''

Females in their 20s[like males] are not necessarily more attractive no but they carry attractiveness better[that is the ones that are attractive] simply because their bodies are younger and fitter, therefore if you have a 35 yo attractive female next to 25 yo attractive female most men would likely pick the younger female. But as i have said before just because a woman is in her 20s does not make her attractive-many young women at that age aren't. However when you have youth and beauty combined it is usually the winning formula.

Repealedthe8th · 29/05/2018 13:32

the primitive urge will always be there

Yeah, the old 'men are cavemen, barely restrained by clothes and civilisation' approach. Women, if course, have no primitive urges at all, unless we are searching desperate for an Alpha Male to impregnate and protect us, and then fending off pretty nineteen-year-olds forever. Hmm

BlueBug45 · 29/05/2018 13:36

@MiggeldyHiggins odd that a certain someone likes using the word "science" and "scientifc" a lot. Seems they are making the presumption that everyone else who posts on mumsnet is uneducated.

LoxieRose · 29/05/2018 13:38

Certainly not true!

Besides, a lot of young women are not even attracted to older men. They like the better looking hunky guys their own age. Older men are more like the annoying dad to them.

boilerhouse2007 · 29/05/2018 13:45

''Besides, a lot of young women are not even attracted to older men. They like the better looking hunky guys their own age.''

Who disputed that here?

Dungeondragon15 · 29/05/2018 13:49

Females in their 20s[like males] are not necessarily more attractive no but they carry attractiveness better[that is the ones that are attractive] simply because their bodies are younger and fitter, therefore if you have a 35 yo attractive female next to 25 yo attractive female most men would likely pick the younger female.

I don't agree. I think many older men would prefer to look at a fit looking, well groomed 35 year old rather than a 19 year old. It will vary according to the age of the man and probably his own children though (I think those with children are more likely to prefer to look at older women rather than someone who reminds them of their children's friends.)

boilerhouse2007 · 29/05/2018 13:52

''I don't agree. I think many older men would prefer to look at a fit looking, well groomed 35 year old rather than a 19 year old.''

ok yes you don't agree then totally bring up points I never said- I used the 25 yo/35 yo comparison. There is a big difference between that and a 19yo.

BuntyII · 29/05/2018 13:58

Well realistically if a man is presented with an attractive young 19 year old woman he is going to notice that she's sexually desirable. There was a workman in his twenties with his shirt off at my work yesterday, I looked and went ooh he looks nice, and went about my day.

I think with most men and women once you get to know the attractive young person their personality becomes a major offputting factor 😂

Unless you have a man who thinks with his dick in which case you'd know about it by now anyway I suppose.

Dungeondragon15 · 29/05/2018 13:59

ok yes you don't agree then totally bring up points I never said- I used the 25 yo/35 yo comparison. There is a big difference between that and a 19yo.

OP is talking about a 19 year old so that seems more relevant. I also think that many older men are just as likely to be attracted to a fit looking, well groomed, pretty 35 year old as a fit looking, well groomed, pretty, 25 year old too.

boilerhouse2007 · 29/05/2018 14:05

''There was a workman in his twenties with his shirt off at my work yesterday, I looked and went ooh he looks nice, and went about my day.

I think with most men and women once you get to know the attractive young person their personality becomes a major offputting factor 😂

Unless you have a man who thinks with his dick in which case you'd know about it by now anyway I suppose.''

Again you are comparing your sexual attitudes to a mans-they are different. And yea men do tend to think with their dicks alot. Any visual stimulation can send us into deep thoughts... I say this as a man too.

Dungeondragon15 · 29/05/2018 14:07

Again you are comparing your sexual attitudes to a mans-they are different. And yea men do tend to think with their dicks alot. Any visual stimulation can send us into deep thoughts... I say this as a man too.

You can't speak for all men though and you don't know the thought process of all women.

RebelRogue · 29/05/2018 14:08

Ahhh it's all starting to become clear now.

"Sorry if I think with my dick love...it's science! Wanna see my Hadron Collider?"

LoxieRose · 29/05/2018 14:10

boiler you're just a perverted freak. Stay away from the school gates.

GorgonLondon · 29/05/2018 14:14

Hang on boiler is a man who teaches schoolgirls and has spent the whole thread arguing that all men fancy very young women?

Fucking revolting.

boilerhouse2007 · 29/05/2018 14:15

''You can't speak for all men though and you don't know the thought process of all women.''

oh come on-you are just arguing against what you already know...men are naturally hornier, naturally generally have different morals to sex[not saying that means they will cheat but most cheaters are men], men generally like physical attractiveness more than females, society accept men and younger women together alot moreso than older women with younger men. Hollywood is fill of older men with a much younger female and nobody bats an eyelid but when it's Demi Moore/Ashton Kutcher it's front page news. You can argue all you want but really to say men and women are the same sexually and have the same attitudes/ responses/emotional responses etc to sex is just complete bullocks.

CakeWars · 29/05/2018 14:15

Hard to speak for an entire sex, but I reckon a lot of men (and women) think people are more attractive when they’re youngish. I can’t say it bothers me much. It’s a two way street and I reckon a lot of women are the same tbh.

I remember being in Crete on holiday and a party boat rocked up to the beach we were on. Full of young people and they just looked magnificent, despite chugging down vodka red bulls and chain smoking .

There’s no point getting one’s knickers in a twist over it. You can’t live your life just to be attractive to men. And you can’t make yourself forever 19.

Fwiw, I was not attractive at that age. I’m probably slightly more so now (34), but I’m definitely not as attractive as most 19 year olds.

boilerhouse2007 · 29/05/2018 14:16

This reply has been deleted

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RebelRogue · 29/05/2018 14:21

society accept men and younger women together alot moreso than older women with younger men. Hollywood is fill of older men with a much younger female and nobody bats an eyelid but when it's Demi Moore/Ashton Kutcher it's front page news.

That's patriarchy not science.

boilerhouse2007 · 29/05/2018 14:22

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GorgonLondon · 29/05/2018 14:24

Was that part of the argument for your 'PHD in science' (sic obviously), boiler ?

Grin
boilerhouse2007 · 29/05/2018 14:25

''That's patriarchy not science.''

Not really no-the primal urge of attraction comes back to mating hence it makes more sense that men will seek a partner who can provide healthy offspring and are fertile. It is less likely that older females can do this compared to their younger counterparts hence this pattern of older man/younger female makes more sense scientifically.

RebelRogue · 29/05/2018 14:26

@boilerhouse2007 careful love, you're showing your true colours now ...or is that your true biology?Grin

MiggeldyHiggins · 29/05/2018 14:27

odd that a certain someone likes using the word "science" and "scientifc" a lot. Seems they are making the presumption that everyone else who posts on mumsnet is uneducated.

If that was aimed at me, then quite a lot seem less than well educated, not all.

GorgonLondon · 29/05/2018 14:27

In case anyone missed it, this prize gem of a man claims to have a doctorate 'in science' and to be a school teacher in biology...oh yes.