Giving toy guns as gifts

[juneau]

I'm not sure whether I'm being unreasonable or whether others feel like this.

DS was 7 earlier this month and he had a party which his school friends came to and he was given three toy guns as gifts. Now I know it's up to people what they give and that as the recipient's parent I don't get a say, and I should be grateful that these DC came to his party and brought him a gift (and I am), but I would never give a gun as a gift. I think it's really inappropriate and I'm very uncomfortable with having even toy guns in my house. Seeing my 7-year-old running around with a gun (albeit a plastic one), and shooting at us and laughing is horrible. And of course he loves them and he was given them and if I took them away then I'd be the bad guy

[Soubriquet]

I really don't like toy guns. Weapons should not glamourised as a toy.

I know one day, one or both of my children might want one, but I'm trying to stall as long as I can.

Water guns, yes no problem. But toy guns that make shooting noises no.

[Dinosauratemydaffodils]

I would never give one as a gift even though I had several as a child (df in the military). Ds picked one from a Christmas market fair stall as a prize spurred on by my MiL (whose own father was shot during the troubles) and he's got a ray gun too.

He also has a sword in his dressing up box and fancies a bow & arrow (refused so far on grounds of age... he's 3 and about to get a baby brother or sister).

Both dh and I were taught how to shoot "real" guns as children and neither of us has gone on a murderous rampage even though we've had plenty of access unless you count shooting rats. My in-laws live near a river and grow a lot of produce in the kitchen garden plus MiL insists on feeding the birds so rats are a bit of issue.

[Fishcalledlola]

Ds2 has wanted a gun for as long as he could talk. I'm not sure where he had even seen them. I have asked my cousin to get him a nerf gun for his 3rd birthday next week (so I can scowl and say "I can't believe you've got a gun", whilst being glad he'll stop mithering me for one)
I'd never buy one for somebody else's kid.

[DailyMailFail101]

NO YANBU! I don’t allow guns and would be annoyed at receiving some as a gift, tbh I would of given them to charity and let my son choose something else instead, he knows we don’t have guns.

[ICantCopeAnymore]

Do those who stop their children playing with guns also stop other weaponry like bows and arrows, swords, lightsabers etc? Do you put a stop to pretend play such as pirates, Robin Hood, knights and castles, war games? Do you stop children playing games like Minecraft or Portal?

Children have played make believe with weapons for centuries. Not every child is a gun-welding killer because of their play.

I had a fantastic armoury as a child. I was intelligent enough to realise they were nothing more than toys.

[Cheerymom]

I really wouldn't worry, Mao was brought up as a Buddhist until he was ten. I personally don't buy toy guns but have seen my SS play with then until the next toy.

[juneau]

Weapons should not glamourised as a toy.

Yeah, that's how I feel soubriquet. Do we have swords? Yes - but I didn't buy those either and no I don't like them, because they whack each other with them and it hurts.

I know kids have been playing cops and robbers or cowboys and Indians for ever, but I'm just not a fan of other people buying my kids guns (and yes, it was two nerf guns and a pump action 'soaker' water pistol). Buying them for your own kids is one thing, but giving them as gifts? That's what I have a problem with.

[ICantCopeAnymore]

I actually agree with that. I don't think anything that could be seen as "controversial" should be gifted.

[BertieBotts]

I don't think it would occur to most people that nerf or water guns might be an issue.

[Sparklingbrook]

My two would have been well chuffed with Nerf guns and a soaker water pistol as gifts and I wouldn't have had an issue at all with them.

I vaguely remember buying the same back for other children but they all loved Nerf Wars as much as mine.

[AmazingPostVoices]

I don't think it would occur to most people that nerf or water guns might be an issue

I do know several people who don’t have an issue with guns per se but have banned nerf guns following breakages/accidents/injuries.

[SmashedMug]

I've given guns as gifts before to children I knew played with guns but wouldn't give one to a child I didn't know for sure had some already because people do have very strong feelings about them. I do think maybe you are being a bit unreasonable though because not everyone has met someone who feels so strongly about toy guns and might not even be aware that it can be an issue. I wasn't until I met a mum who was VERY angry that our children had played pretend guns at school.

[ColourfulOrangex]

My DS is allowed nerf guns but not ones which look like real guns, I wouldn't buy for his friends as everyone has different rules but then I normally put money in a card because I have no idea what to buy lol i don't think YABU

[Fruitcorner123]

RunMummyRun68

Context is important. There is a difference between pretending to be a gangster or terrorist with a gun and pretending to be a knight in battle with a sword and shield.

It's similar to the idea that we wouldn't find it socially accptable to make jokes about victims of cancer but it would be fine to make fun of victims of the bubonic plague for example.

[drspouse]

We don't allow guns as toys, I would be telling my DCs that I'm really sorry but we don't play with guns in our house. The reason is not that I think they will turn into a violent gun-toting thug if they play guns, but that guns are never toys and it is never OK to pretend you are shooting someone.
This is so they realise if they do come across a real gun (and we have friends and family who live in places where guns are quite common) that it is NEVER a toy and they should not touch it or pretend to shoot anyone.

[stayathomer]

Yanbu. I do not get why it doesn't cross people's minds to think about gifts they're giving! We stand for ages at the toy aisle making sure it's safe, appropriate and isn't something they'd have loads of (something they like that's on special-the whole class could be buying it!!) our first gun came from DMIL's house. About a year after she laughed when she saw it in our house and said 'I knew you'd give in and get them guns at some stage-what nonsense-no guns!' When I told her she gave it to him and said jokingly 'so it's kinda your fault' she rolled her eyes and said we were ridiculous. Fast fwd a few years and DBIL got each of our kids giant nerf guns, but only gave them to them 1) when we weren't in mil's house, as she didn't want any battles going on and 2) when him wife and kids were gone home as he didn't want his kids playing with 'those kind of toys.' They all had a big discussion about it but it didn't occur to them to ask me or DH about it. DH still wants to buy theirs nerf guns but I wouldn't.

[robotcartrainhat]

YANBU I would never give something like that as a gift as its fairly common for some people to not want replica weapons in their home. Its only a good gift if you really know that person and know theyd be okay with their child playing with that. Otherwise I think its pretty rude tbh. Id just chuck any guns given in the bin (or take to a charity shop)

[AsIfIWish]

We don't allow guns as toys, I would be telling my DCs that I'm really sorry but we don't play with guns in our house. The reason is not that I think they will turn into a violent gun-toting thug if they play guns, but that guns are never toys and it is never OK to pretend you are shooting someone.
This is so they realise if they do come across a real gun (and we have friends and family who live in places where guns are quite common) that it is NEVER a toy and they should not touch it or pretend to shoot anyone.

^this. My kids are all into shooting and yes I have to tell them off. I hate guns. However, water guns I do not have a problem with, because they are designed for fun, for getting wet, for laughter, and are harmless. There is little similarity there to the reason guns are made.

[MrsMarigold]

I love a good gun, I would not be offended. My DH is a very calm non-violent person but was obsessed with guns, DC have quite a few guns and swords, it's about dominance in games not actual violence. We've also talked about how firearms changed the world. I took them to a museum where there was a large collection of guns, many extremely beautiful pistols and revolvers, rifles, right through to automatic sub machine guns. It's good to talk about them.

[emmyrose2000]

YANBU

Someone gave my DC a toy gun for his third or fourth birthday. It went straight into the bin after the party.

[juneau]

Thanks for the responses. I thought I was going to get told that I'm a precious snowflake and to get over it! I'm not sure what I'll do about it though.

[juneau]

Well, there's always one isn't there

[Sparklingbrook]

It's like you saw the future juneau.

[Ankorna]

I'm fine with toy guns.
I remember going rifle shooting with my stepdad when I was in primary school.

I don't get the big deal tbh