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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Giving toy guns as gifts

258 replies

juneau · 28/05/2018 19:11

I'm not sure whether I'm being unreasonable or whether others feel like this.

DS was 7 earlier this month and he had a party which his school friends came to and he was given three toy guns as gifts. Now I know it's up to people what they give and that as the recipient's parent I don't get a say, and I should be grateful that these DC came to his party and brought him a gift (and I am), but I would never give a gun as a gift. I think it's really inappropriate and I'm very uncomfortable with having even toy guns in my house. Seeing my 7-year-old running around with a gun (albeit a plastic one), and shooting at us and laughing is horrible. And of course he loves them and he was given them and if I took them away then I'd be the bad guy Sad

OP posts:
LipstickHandbagCoffee · 31/05/2018 07:00

I bet they did not say shit,as we have had play dates were they brought the nerf guns
There has been a nerf gun party, invite was bring your nerf gun. We did

stayathomer · 31/05/2018 07:04

But it's different when you get one/more into your house. Every new one reminds them to start going lunatic around the house for a few more days. Honest not a pop at you and nerf guns are great , have seen some of the more expensive ones and thought that's pretty impressive, but it's up to the parent to bring them into the house, not for it to be forced into the house if you know what I mean?

stayathomer · 31/05/2018 07:07

ps Lipstick kids went to a party where everyone was handed a nerf gun, the party child lived in a place with a field for a garden, was thinking what a great business model if you were able to hire a bunch of them out for a day, kinda like a kiddy version of paintballing!

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 31/05/2018 07:10

It’s a toy not a bag of skunk.there is no need to vet it’s admission to the home
And no I don’t routinely announce gift I’m giving and seek permission prior to giving it
Up to the parents?what - should they approve gifts for ideological suitably?
The nerf guns are all use,I know because they tell me,I see it. There has been no angst about receipt of a nerfgun

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 31/05/2018 07:11

Nerf party mum,has a huge garden, so the scale of it is great for running about

stayathomer · 31/05/2018 07:22

In terms of approving It's just the etiquette thing, I always make sure to give nothing that is messy (once heard someone bitch about getting those little tubs of playdough) and nothing that can potentially cause someone to get hurt, although a lot of people on here are more against what it stands for.

LookAtThatCritter · 31/05/2018 18:00

@amazingpostvoices

To the OP obviously

drspouse · 31/05/2018 18:52

I'm just glad that most of the posters DCs will never see a real gun and therefore never have to know that you never touch or pretend with a gun.
It's a nice situation to be in but I can't guarantee my DCs won't be.

AmazingPostVoices · 31/05/2018 19:25

Look wasn’t that obvious hence the question it thanks for getting back to me. Smile

zwellers · 31/05/2018 19:42

Forget the guns I'm feeling sorry for the kid that's not allowed 'rough and tumble'.

Pumperthepumper · 31/05/2018 19:47

zwellers my son? Why?

TacticalDad86 · 01/06/2018 15:18

Hey guys, First time post..

Have two sons aged 6 & 14, both of whom play with toy guns and have done since I can remember.

My youngest has his Nerf guns 6 to be exact and yes he has tried firing them all at once by taping them Together! My eldest has his Nerf, and BB guns (Airsoft rifles) as he and his mates go to play airsoft every other Saturday. Just to say, when I found out he wanted a bb gun even with that he had to prove to me he could handle it safely.

I, work in Private security and when working in Europe and South America, I'm Armed.

I am licensed in the U.K (Section 1&2) and trained (Former Reservist/TA and F.A.C holder)

I also provide instruction on proficiency and competency of SAFE handling (ISO 9001 standard), and own 7 Firearms, all are for WORK or PCD (Professional career development) or Instruction.

Both of my sons know the difference between a real firearm and a TOY....

In my personal opinion, the more you "Shelter" or restrict them for playing with -TOY- guns when they're younger, when they become older they'll want the real ones, and rebel. Then you may end up with visits from the police, them be arrested with a firearm, or they end up joining a gang just to have a gun.

If you don't like guns then that's your own choice, you may have your reasons which are perfectly viable for you, but your reasons are not your children's.
Like mine, I've been shot at on multiple occasions during my career as a Close Protection Officer and ex-squaddie, but just because that's happened to me doesn't mean to say my kids can't have their bit of fun playing soldiers or cops and robbers or body-guards.

Its about Educating them, not restricting them. My eldest comes to Bisley with me all the time when I practise, he knows the 5 principles of marksmanship inside-out and the Do's and Don'ts of the range, I've even seen him tell others off for poor or inadequate handling.

I've always taught my boys: Its not the gun its the intent of the person behind it.
As the saying goes - Gun's don't kill people - People do!

To FruitCorner, The guns that a gang member Might use are exactly the same to what the military use, except gang members aren't trained properly which is why firearms have such a bad rep because of them.....I Fully understand where you're coming from but even for imitation firearms, you still need what's called a UKARA to purchase and own them, your details are taken and then they are sent to the firearms section of the police (SC019) to sit on file, the guns are also painted bright blue, these are still in effect toys.

If you are referring to "blank" firing firearms, you still need to be licensed and apply for section 1, as this comes under the firearm act 1968 - www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1968/27

IMHO Let them play with the TOYS, join in and play with them, don't tell them they're wrong using their imagination of pretending to be a cowboy or policeman, make it fun! pretend with them you're secret space agents and you're mission is to save the world or something :-)
that what I do with my youngest and he loves it!

TacticalDad86 · 01/06/2018 15:47

But I do Agree with you Juneau, its not cool for someone else to buy it for them, and yes ultimately its the parents decision if the child keeps it or not.

ICantCopeAnymore · 01/06/2018 15:54

@TacticalDad86 - I have UKARA and my RIFs aren't painted. Do you mean children's BB guns?

Completely agree though.

MillyTheKid · 01/06/2018 15:59

The types my son and his friends seem to be into are the nerf ones that shoot bits of foam. They switch them for water blaster things in the summer. They don't offend me too much as they're a bit over the top and colourful. They don't look like something that's just come out of a war film.

Pumperthepumper · 01/06/2018 16:00

In my personal opinion, the more you "Shelter" or restrict them for playing with -TOY- guns when they're younger, when they become older they'll want the real ones, and rebel. Then you may end up with visits from the police, them be arrested with a firearm, or they end up joining a gang just to have a gun.

I can’t understand this argument at all, surely the same goes for literally anything you restrict? So you just shouldn’t bother because they’ll ignore you when they get older anyway?

Guns don’t kill, people do - what is the purpose of a gun except to hurt or kill? They have no other function, it’s what they’re for. Not like knives or axes or other tools.

I play loads of pretend games with my son too. None of them involve hurting people or shooting a gun.

Pumperthepumper · 01/06/2018 16:01

And I’ve asked this already on this thread but what benefit is playing with guns (specifically guns) adding to his play? Over any other kind of imaginative play?)

TacticalDad86 · 01/06/2018 16:06

@ICantCopeAnymore Your RIF's aren't painted BECAUSE you hold the UKARA which allows you to buy RIF's unpainted/Customised- as UKARA and police have your details when you initially registered.

Even still, new UKARA holders are advised to have their weapons "two-toned" so as IF you are stopped by the police they can quickly I.D that you are not possessing a "live firing" weapon, therefore SC019 or in one case I've heard CTSFO don't approach you with their firearms unholstered.

ICantCopeAnymore · 01/06/2018 16:12

Ah, Tactical the way you worded it sounded like you were saying even with UKARA they need to be painted. I'd never have a two-tone, I'd be laughed off the field Wink
Yes, you have to be very careful when loading them into the car etc. I once had an M4 on my living room windowsill while I charged the battery. One of the cats slightly opened the vertical blinds and I had a knock on the door at 3am from the police who happened to be walking past and saw the barrel through the window. Very embarrassing, won't make that mistake again.

Guns don’t kill, people do - what is the purpose of a gun except to hurt or kill? They have no other function, it’s what they’re for

That's not true at all. Guns are used for many sports that aren't to do with killing. I've listed them somewhere on this thread, but again some are target shooting, Airsoft, Paintball, Laser Tag, clay pigeon shooting, water pistols, NERF.

Pumperthepumper · 01/06/2018 16:22

That's not true at all. Guns are used for many sports that aren't to do with killing. I've listed them somewhere on this thread, but again some are target shooting, Airsoft, Paintball, Laser Tag, clay pigeon shooting, water pistols, NERF.

These are all imitation shooting. Shooting for what purpose?

Pumperthepumper · 01/06/2018 16:24

Sorry, that doesn’t make a lot of sense - I mean, what is the primary function of a gun? So target practice for example, why do you need to know how to hit a target with a bullet?

Kursk · 01/06/2018 16:26

Pumperthepumper

Shooting promotes, concentration, breathing control, responsibility, physics and logical/tactical thinking.

I carry a gun on a daily basis, my kids have access to our firearms, and have become very skilled.

Kursk · 01/06/2018 16:29

My kids have also learned to reload their own ammunition. They have learned to calculate the amount of explosive to use for the weight of the round. And to figure out it’s speed, accuracy and expected range.

Pumperthepumper · 01/06/2018 16:30

Shooting promotes, concentration, breathing control, responsibility, physics and logical/tactical thinking.

You can get all of this from building with Lego (maybe bar breathing control, which you can get from any sport) - you don’t need a gun to learn any of these things.

Kursk · 01/06/2018 16:34

Pumperthepumper

Yes you can, not quite to the same extent but it will work.

I consider using a gun, knife, axe and chainsaw as basic life skills.