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AIBU?

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Original poster

Using DC's earned money for ourselves?

238 replies

EatonEntry · 27/05/2018 14:33

To pay off our outstanding debts?

In a nutshell, myself and DH have quite a few things on finance that we are dying to pay off so we can be much better off eacgh month. We have both vowed never to have anything on finance again (we did it in a made rush when we needed things to move with).

Our DC is a baby and a very successful model.

Would we be unreasonable to use his money that earns to pay off some stuff?

I feel sick at the thought. It feels so wrong. It's in DC's own account, and I'd be withdrawing it from there. I feel like it should be his to have put away for his first car, perhaps to help him at university if he wishes to go, perhaps to help put down the deposit on a mortgage for himself.

DH's argument is we have extortionate rent to pay, and that money could make life from month to month a lot easier if we pay off our finance plans.

I think and feel that the whole thing is wrong, but I'm open to be told DH has more sense.

Who is right?

Sad
OP posts:
MaybeBabey · 27/05/2018 15:41

I must be truly evil as I would view baby modelling money as being tne parents’.

I disagree.

But:

I don't get any chaperoning fees, and generally, transport costs aren't paid for by anyone who books him unless it's television work

Detracting this from the money he earns is perfectly fine imo. (sure, they made him. But it's his face / smile etc. Whether he's an adult or a baby...)

Mrscog · 27/05/2018 15:42

£800 is costing £300 per month? And then you’d pay it back at £20-30 per month?

This doesn’t add up op - you sound silly.

Borrow the £800, then pay it back over 4 months then it’s all done and dusted.

coffeebreak38572 · 27/05/2018 15:45

I really would not be comfortable doing it. I would only do it if I was desperate and was 100% sure I would pay it all back over time.

kaytee87 · 27/05/2018 15:46

I'm confused by your figures op.

jay55 · 27/05/2018 15:47

Taking 2+ years to pay it back would be taking the piss.

lifelifelife · 27/05/2018 15:49

If you can pay it back then it's fine. If not I think it's unfair.

Yvest · 27/05/2018 15:51

I would totally do it without hesitating and I would then pay back £50 a month. It’s not like he needs it now and it will be all done and dusted years before he needs it.

Moominfan · 27/05/2018 15:52

Some really mixed strong responses on here. Money can be such a contentious issue. I personally would, parents not in debt paying interest will benefit them in the long run

Izzywigs · 27/05/2018 15:52

I would do it. The baby is not earning in the true sense of the word. The money you save in interest and the peace of mind being. debt free must be worth it. Pay it back if you feel you want to, but I know a few parents of child models who use the money earned. They decorate bedrooms, buy clothes and toys for the child have better holidays than the would otherwise.i think I have a low moral compass compared to some on here.

SleepFreeZone · 27/05/2018 15:54

I agree with a PP who said we have savings account for the kids but if we really needed it, we’d take it. However that’s predominantly money that’s been paid in by my DP and his Mum. My children haven’t earnt that money abd if they had I think I’d leave it alone.

GeekyBlinders · 27/05/2018 15:54

I wouldn’t do it because it seems morally questionable.

User12879923378 · 27/05/2018 15:55

I have no idea of the legalities involved. However, as a child whose parents got into a terrible state debt wise and ended up having to open the door to strangers and tell them that my parents had gone abroad when they were in fact hiding in the bedroom, I would have very much wanted them to use any money I had earned to pay off debts

IF

they actually paid them off and stayed within their means afterwards.

I love my parents and they were in all other respects very good parents. That said, I am still supporting them as an adult because of their crapness with money. At several points I had to borrow money myself to bail them out. It has taken me years to get out of debt myself and I still have to talk them down from stupid purchases. You need to mean it when you say that from now on if the money's not there it won't get bought.

YankeeDad · 27/05/2018 15:55

OP you said that a one-off £800 payment to reduce debts would clear £250 in MONTHLY payments, i.e £3000 per year in payments on an £800 debt. Can that really be correct? That interest rate would have to be something like 30% per month is that even legal ??

achoocashew · 27/05/2018 15:56

You should get chaperone fees. When my child modelled I did. If you don't, you should take some of the child's money for chaperoning fees yourself.

TheatreTaxi · 27/05/2018 15:58

In terms of legalities, if your child is working under a child performance licence issued by the local council, then by the terms of the licence at least one-third of earnings must be saved - i.e. not spent at all. The council can ask you to prove this has been done, and failure to do so can result in refusal of future licences.

SouthWestmom · 27/05/2018 16:01

I wouldn't. I've literally just set up accounts for my dc to pay their earnings into (saving not their usual accounts). Earned income feels much more at arms length than borrowing a tenner out their piggy banks for a few days.

However I have said to dh I may take petrol money (at HMRC rates) before transferring it - even that seems tricky.

I think some licences and jobs require an approved account (I've seen a section on the licence) but that would be before payment not monitoring after.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 27/05/2018 16:01

There is a big difference though in really needing it because some sort of emergency has cropped up as opposed to using it because it makes things easier for you. A debt you have chosen is not a desperate emergency and there are other ways to try and sort it out. To think the answer is to borrow money from dc rather than any other option, and then paying it back at a ridiculously low monthly instalment doesn't sound like good trustworthy financial planning imo

SouthWestmom · 27/05/2018 16:02

@TheatreTaxi that must be for substantial amounts, I've never been told that for the dc. I do pay all their money to them however.

KickAssAngel · 27/05/2018 16:02

If you're currently paying over 250 a month, then how come you could only afford 20/30 a month to repay your child?

I can understand that if you're in arrears you could be months/years away from paying the interest, but your math just doesn't add up. does the 800 only cover the capital, and not clear the interest/arrears? In which case you'll still be paying back money. If 800 is the full and final figure, then that extra 250 a month could ALL go to your child until you've repaid him.

Or are you already looking at what else you could spend that 'extra' money on?

Original poster
EatonEntry · 27/05/2018 16:03

We will definitely pay it all back.

Some points that I agree with, despite feeling morally uneasy...

It'll all be paid back years before DS can even read and write. And by the time he is 16/18, he will have even more money waiting for him in a secure savings account

Again, he doesn't even know it exists right now and all he is doing is getting attention and smiling at toys. Yes, the company use his image to make money but by the time he knows about this, the money will be waiting for him anyway.

I do have friends I've met along the way since we started doing this. They either have a savings account for their DC or they spend it on nicer holidays, new toys and fancy stuff for their DC. Surely me putting repayments and all extra money he earns, into a savings account, is better than spending it on stuff he may deem unnecessary later in life, when he asks where the money he earned went?

I do all the work to get him the work. Sign his documents, organise his license, take him to and from shoots, sit around at castings. Keep him happy etc

But again, I don't feel 100% about the idea of borrowing the money.

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 27/05/2018 16:04

I’d do it. Then lay it back as you said. In your situation I would deduct costs. You’re not rolling in it. Yes this is your ds’s future. But you don’t have to spend your money now to give one to him.

Oakmaiden · 27/05/2018 16:06

Theatretaxi - that isn't entirely true. Councils are able to do this, but they don't all do so, and if they do it isn't a set amount - it apparently varies.

I looked it up here because your certainty surprised me as I have never seen any such stipulation on my daughter's performance licences and she spends all her earnings in Build a Bear

Lexilooo · 27/05/2018 16:09

You need to organise the modelling income. You need to have it paid into a separate account, and for your expenses to be paid to you, possibly plus a fee for the chaperone paid to you and the rest remaining in the account to cover things like portfolio and agent fees then any residual is invested separately and safely for the child.

ShastaBeast · 27/05/2018 16:09

Seems like a no brainer. £800 isn’t much and he won’t know if you pay it back. Plus he benefits from the comfort and less stressed parents. If I was spending time booking jobs and travelling I’d expect to use some money to cover my time too, if needed.

I currently feel guilty not paying more into our kids’ savings, but they will benefit more from us saving to buy a bigger house and holidays etc than having more to blow at 18 on a car or travel/partying.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 27/05/2018 16:11

I do all the work to get him the work. Sign his documents, organise his license, take him to and from shoots, sit around at castings. Keep him happy etc

So deduct an amount from his earnings to cover this.

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