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AIBU?

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Original poster

Using DC's earned money for ourselves?

238 replies

EatonEntry · 27/05/2018 14:33

To pay off our outstanding debts?

In a nutshell, myself and DH have quite a few things on finance that we are dying to pay off so we can be much better off eacgh month. We have both vowed never to have anything on finance again (we did it in a made rush when we needed things to move with).

Our DC is a baby and a very successful model.

Would we be unreasonable to use his money that earns to pay off some stuff?

I feel sick at the thought. It feels so wrong. It's in DC's own account, and I'd be withdrawing it from there. I feel like it should be his to have put away for his first car, perhaps to help him at university if he wishes to go, perhaps to help put down the deposit on a mortgage for himself.

DH's argument is we have extortionate rent to pay, and that money could make life from month to month a lot easier if we pay off our finance plans.

I think and feel that the whole thing is wrong, but I'm open to be told DH has more sense.

Who is right?

Sad
OP posts:
Bringonspring · 27/05/2018 15:01

If it’s legal then I don’t see the issue.

Get rid of the high interest then pay your child back. My only worry is it starts a precedent.

citybushisland · 27/05/2018 15:01

If you were on benefits any money in a minors account that you 'could' access would be treated as though you had that money for claim purposes. So if in an inaccessible trust then it would not be but in a savings account it would, if that then meant you couldn't get any benefits until family savings went below a certain amount and you had a choice between housing and feeding the family from a childs savings or starving but being morally right what would we all do?

MildredSparkles · 27/05/2018 15:01

My dad took the £5000 my grandparents left me so he could go on holiday without us. Promised to pay it back. He never did. I had I go to the bank and sign the withdrawal book too I think. I am NC with my dad, for other reasons, but it’s relatively minor things like this that led to that.

Rocinante1 · 27/05/2018 15:01

Yes! A 0% interest card if you can get one. Pay off all the finance, then pay off as much as you can over the next 12 months with no interest.

Tomorrowillbeachicken · 27/05/2018 15:01

Tbh also put any future money in a locked account so it can’t tempt you.

boilerhouse2007 · 27/05/2018 15:02

''But if paying off the debt means a better quality of life for your baby, then maybe it's ok.''

Agreed as long as you don't take the piss, if anything try and repay it then over 18 years.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 27/05/2018 15:02

What outlays do you have in terms of supporting your baby's modelling career and are you paid back? Clothes, promo photos, transport etc? I'd claim all such expenses personally, and, frankly borrow their earnings or invest the time I was investing in their earnings (career) in some sort of job that paid debts.

But that's just me.

Gagastwin · 27/05/2018 15:02

If youur debt is that bad look at the three letter process, you shouldn't be paying debt collecting companies. Your contract is with the original creditor, not them.

If you are paying the companies directly tell them you cant afford to live and that you need to reduce the amount you are paying each month.

Don't borrow that money from your child, you will never pay it back if you can't afford the outgoings you already have.

SleepingStandingUp · 27/05/2018 15:03

How much would you need to borrow off him?
How much would that free up a mouth? How much could you afford to pay back a month?

I think that would be the main issue.

But if also move it into a secure bank that you cannot access easily until he's 18 to stop it happening every Christmas or holiday

CiderwithBuda · 27/05/2018 15:05

I don’t know the legalities but I would do it. It’s madness to be paying interest when you don’t have to. Do it but pay it back plus the interest that your DCs account would be earning. Then when that is paid back you can enjoy your extra £300 per month but not until then. You have to prioritise paying it back.

And if you think your DH won’t see that that is the way it has to go then I wouldn’t do it.

Work out how long you would take to be able to paying the finance and how much interest you will pay. And then work out how long it will take you to pay your DC back and how much interest you will pay.

BewareOfDragons · 27/05/2018 15:06

I would get legal advice.

If you do this, you will be breaking laws. It's theft. Laws were put in place to protect children from parents like you, frankly, who left their children with nothing after working through their childhoods.

I do think you might be entitled to take a very small percentage, 10% or less, to 'manage' his childhood 'career', but nothing more than that. Look into it.

Xenia · 27/05/2018 15:07

Morally I would say it depends on whether you both really mean it? Eg if you use it to pay off debts and then cut your spending right down until you have paid every penny back and you pay every penny back within say 6 months then I don't think it's a problem. We used with their consent the children's money when we moved to this house and I had it paid back within 2 or 3 months and not problems at all and they got the benefit of the lovely huge house etc. I used it again when their brother bought his house and then again paid it back within a month or two completely and again with their consent.

However some people will take the money and then just never pay it back or pay it back only over 20 years or get into more and more and more debt and then it is not wise to use a single penny of it in my view. What did you need fpor the move? The rent deposit of pointless new furniture? We used junk or second hand furniture.

velourvoyageur · 27/05/2018 15:07

You do everything involved in the modelling (dealing with contracts, transport etc) except the actual sitting there and being photographed and depending on their age it's not like your baby acts as opposed to sitting there and responding to their environment...

Floralnomad · 27/05/2018 15:07

I think it’s morally wrong to take money from your child unless it’s money that you have given them which makes it marginally acceptable in extreme circumstances .

teaandtoast · 27/05/2018 15:07

If it's legal, I'd use it. The whole family will be better off and, obviously, the baby couldn't have been a model without parental input.

Then, I'd look for a really good, interest-paying account for the baby and pay it all back into that.

Mrscog · 27/05/2018 15:08

I would do it but I would pay it back at £100 per month immediately - don’t get used to having £300 spare, get used to £200 spare.

£200 per month us still only a tiny buffer so you will still need to be very careful.

EdiShowers · 27/05/2018 15:09

That is not only wrong, but illegal. How dare you steal from your DC?

EdiShowers · 27/05/2018 15:09

That is not only wrong, but illegal. How dare you steal from your DC?

Rocinante1 · 27/05/2018 15:13

Little bit of googling.

Lawyers have mixed opinions but generally- it is criminal fraud, however there is nothing in practice to stop it and nothing would really be done. However, when the child grows up they have grounds to bring civil action due to your breach of fiduciary responsibility over their account. It's their money, you're meant to be guarding it and not spending it.

So if you do it, you won't face criminal prosecution but your child could sue. So pay it all back.

Notasunnybunny · 27/05/2018 15:13

How much do you get paid to chaperone ?

Mxyzptlk · 27/05/2018 15:13

Why not ask Citizens Advice, or Stepchange Debt Charity, for advice on how to afford your debt?

LannieDuck · 27/05/2018 15:13

I would do it, but I would also definitely set up a standing order for £300 until it was paid off.

Shiftymake · 27/05/2018 15:14

My mum did this and has not effectively paid this back, if you pay it back then yes as debt like that costs more and worth getting rid of. If you can't pay it back then no.For me being the kid with money it is a long story but she has happily forgotten that she still owes me and my brother ££££s that where bookmarked for us and in our name. Fortunately she has been amending that these last couple of years. Looking at this, everyone has borrowed stolen money from me and not repaid it through my childhood and teenage years without me having a say. I wouldn't have minded if it was repaid, I do mind as it was money to help with educational fees and potential house purchase.

diddl · 27/05/2018 15:14

Presumably you can't move & you are stuck with the extortionate rent & would be even if your baby didn't earn anything?

Did you really need the stuff that you have on finance?

Would you really pay it back?

I think that you should leave it & pay off your own debts yourselves.

Mxyzptlk · 27/05/2018 15:16

If your DH is looking at taking your child's money before looking into other ways of dealing with the debt, and you are going along with it, it suggests that neither of you have much idea about money matters.
Get some advice on that first.

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