Using DC's earned money for ourselves?

[EatonEntry]

To pay off our outstanding debts?

In a nutshell, myself and DH have quite a few things on finance that we are dying to pay off so we can be much better off eacgh month. We have both vowed never to have anything on finance again (we did it in a made rush when we needed things to move with).

Our DC is a baby and a very successful model.

Would we be unreasonable to use his money that earns to pay off some stuff?

I feel sick at the thought. It feels so wrong. It's in DC's own account, and I'd be withdrawing it from there. I feel like it should be his to have put away for his first car, perhaps to help him at university if he wishes to go, perhaps to help put down the deposit on a mortgage for himself.

DH's argument is we have extortionate rent to pay, and that money could make life from month to month a lot easier if we pay off our finance plans.

I think and feel that the whole thing is wrong, but I'm open to be told DH has more sense.

Who is right?

If I knew that my parents had struggled while I had money sitting in a bank account while I was too young to know or touch it id be upset. As long as the money was paid back it really doesn't matter, even if it takes a good while to pay it back. It seems silly that the family is living on the breadline wh n they could be doing more activities with the child if they paid off the debt

Absolutely. Not only would I be upset I'd think they were complete idiots.

Unless it's a matter of being put on the streets, don't touch it. Do not. Your short term comfort is not worth his long term gain. If your rent is too high, move ASAP; if your other costs are too much, trim the fat. Find a financial plan to stick to (something like they use at Dave Ramsey's Financial University site), and once your debts are paid off, then you can have the breathing room you want and need.

But do not get it at your son's expense.

Have you considered the effect of a stressed mother organising a move with a small baby? Of his being shifted from familiar surroundings. That would be at his expense too.

Posters seem to be presuming that OP won't pay it back. On zero evidence.

If I heard that my parents moved when I was a baby because they wouldn't touch 'my money' I'd think they were imbeciles.

I've noticed it on Mumsnet before - an obsession about the rights of the child, as against the interests of the parents. They are a family unit. Increasing the financial stability of the family is in the interests of the baby.

@Laudanumm

Whether it increases the financial stability of the family is completely irrelevant- it's not the parents' money to take. Taking my next door neighbour's wages would improve the financial stability of my family but that doesn't mean their money's mine to take.

Just get on Instagram with your child, there's no rules there and people use their kids in ads and collaborations all the time, and because it's not regulated or monitored they can do what they want with the money...

Taking your next door neighbour's wage would more than likely affect them, whereas taking your child's and paying it back before they're old enough to even know you have wouldn't affect them at all.

@Honeyroar

It would only not affect them if it was guaranteed to be paid back, which is far from certain to be the case. There'll always be a more 'pressing' demand for the money, whether it be a new car, a leaking roof or a vet bill.

Edi that's just your opinion- OP has said it would be paid back. I'd certainly pay it back. There's a difference between borrowing and stealing.

You've obviously gotten yourself in a situation and hopefully you'll learn from that. If you are 100% certain you can pay it back, I don't see an issue with it. If you can see the account in your online banking than you would be a signatory on the account. It shouldn't be illegal to withdraw from it. If you as a family are struggling because of these debts than it's likely going to be causing strain on the relationship and therefore potentially stress on your DS.
Get rid of your finance plans and set up an autopayment directly back into your DS's account with half of the money you would free up each month.

Some people talk as though family members are just random people who happen to share a house. This is a family unit. It is reasonable for the parents to consider what us in the best interests of that unit. If the mum had a serious health condition and would risk an early death if left on the NHS waiting list for years, would you tell her she should not use that money to go private, even if she couldn't pay it back?

@laudanumm I do agree with you in principle, I'm just not informed on the actual legalities of child modelling. If the money is the child's, then it's a tricky area, of the money is controlled by the parents and they are able to legally use it that makes sense.

I would use the money and pay it back as soon as possible. But just the once.