Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Using DC's earned money for ourselves?

238 replies

EatonEntry · 27/05/2018 14:33

To pay off our outstanding debts?

In a nutshell, myself and DH have quite a few things on finance that we are dying to pay off so we can be much better off eacgh month. We have both vowed never to have anything on finance again (we did it in a made rush when we needed things to move with).

Our DC is a baby and a very successful model.

Would we be unreasonable to use his money that earns to pay off some stuff?

I feel sick at the thought. It feels so wrong. It's in DC's own account, and I'd be withdrawing it from there. I feel like it should be his to have put away for his first car, perhaps to help him at university if he wishes to go, perhaps to help put down the deposit on a mortgage for himself.

DH's argument is we have extortionate rent to pay, and that money could make life from month to month a lot easier if we pay off our finance plans.

I think and feel that the whole thing is wrong, but I'm open to be told DH has more sense.

Who is right?

Sad
OP posts:
Cantanker · 27/05/2018 14:46

You're a family. You share the benefit of your possessions / the good and the bad. Not sure that this is wrong.

SittingAround1 · 27/05/2018 14:46

It's not your money. If you do take it make absolutely sure you pay it back before he is old enough to realise

SnobblyBobbly · 27/05/2018 14:48

Surely a baby model would be much less successful without his/her parents acting as a chaperone/pa/agent/personal chef/bottom hygienist and pandering to god knows whatever other diva like demands they may have? Grin

In all seriousness - you facilitate the earnings so I don’t see the harm in using the money and then replacing it.

Knittedfairies · 27/05/2018 14:49

If you did borrow it, you would obviously have to pay it back.

Just a thought (and I have no experience whatsoever of child modelling, so it is just a thought) if there are any expenses incurred, say for a photographic portfolio, travel etc, could you claim that from your child’s earnings?

Original poster
EatonEntry · 27/05/2018 14:49

We would 100% pay it back.

We are very good money wise now, and have been scared off of finance options for life.

Honestly, I wouldn't dream of getting a single thing on finance again. If we don't have the money there, then it isn't being 'bought'

We were very silly to take out the finance options we did and DH being out of work (not his fault) a while back threw a huge spanner and we are still paying for that. Interest very quickly builds.

But anyway, yes we would certainly pay the standing order each month.

The account is called a Kids Saver, I think, with Halifax. It's under my online banking when I login

OP posts:
araiwa · 27/05/2018 14:50

I would consider it theft from the most vulnerable in society

How pathetic are you that you need a baby to bail you out of such a shitshow of your own doing

rosesandflowers · 27/05/2018 14:50

Be very careful.

First find out if it's legal. If it is, repay the money ASAP - and make sure you resist any temptations to begin spending your baby's money more frivolously.

SoftSheen · 27/05/2018 14:50

It's your job to support your baby, not your baby's job to support you. Don't do this.

3333hh44 · 27/05/2018 14:53

What a waste of money paying interest on loans when there is money sitting there earning money. Of course you should use it. But of course you should pay it back -- barring dire straits.

3333hh44 · 27/05/2018 14:53

earning no money

pigpoglet · 27/05/2018 14:54

When you say finance is it a very high interest loan ? If so for goodness sakes pay it off and pay him back without interest . I can't get cross about you using his money even though I have never used my children's savings we are not in your position . As above it it was a serious situation I would as not having a home or similar would affect him .

Bluntness100 · 27/05/2018 14:54

The thing is you're not good with money now. You're living beyond your means.

Take to your lenders to see if you can reduce payments. Or move somewhere cheaper. Managing it as adults is being good with money, not eying up your kids account and seeing it as the solution.

robotcartrainhat · 27/05/2018 14:55

Id use it then pay it back when you can. If it will benefit you all and presumably improve the quality of your childs life then I really dont see what is wrong with that?

MatildaTheCat · 27/05/2018 14:55

The money will be earning next to no interest in a Halifax account so it makes more sense to clear the high interest debt and then repay the money to your child. Look at ways to invest the cash as well as possible for their future.

I see no sense at all in paying a high interest loan when you have the money sitting at your disposal, doing nothing at all.

Quit the moral dilemma and use your heads. Just be absolutely certain you do repay and with some interest.

Tinkobell · 27/05/2018 14:55

Once the baby's money's all spent....what then? Where do you go from there? You need to look at your monthly spends and cut back some other stuff.

MinorRSole · 27/05/2018 14:55

Look you aren't destitute. You are paying the finance so you don't need this money - you just want it. That's how you got into this position in the first place so I'm not sure that you are any better with money now if you really think about it

pigsDOfly · 27/05/2018 14:56

If you borrow it and pay it all back that's one thing. But from the sound of it you're basically living beyond your means and your baby is working to pay it off.

If you can't afford to pay your debts how are you going to afford to pay your baby back the money you're taking from him to pay off your debts.

Sounds like a very bad idea to me. That money should be for his future.

What happens if you don't pay it back and one day, when he wants financial help, he finds out you stole his earnings; I imagine he wouldn't be happy.

StaplesCorner · 27/05/2018 14:57

we did this, it was a small inheritance, took us ages to pay it back but now its sitting in an account for DD when she is 18 (next year!) - I agree it can be difficult to pay it back to be very careful. I don't think its an issue.

Tomorrowillbeachicken · 27/05/2018 14:58

I wouldn’t do it.

Camelsinthegobi · 27/05/2018 14:59

I’d do it and repay maybe 50% to a child trust thing. You obviously have incurred costs facilitating a baby modelling career and it’s reasonable for you to have ‘earnings’ from this.

Camelsinthegobi · 27/05/2018 14:59

Though I’d check this is legal first!

Tomorrowillbeachicken · 27/05/2018 14:59

If you need to lend money off your child to get by then your money management obviously isn’t that good.

Camelsinthegobi · 27/05/2018 15:00

I think it’s different from an inheritance...

Mxyzptlk · 27/05/2018 15:00

Is there any other way to get the money eg a money transfer on a 0% credit card?

UrsulaPandress · 27/05/2018 15:00

Charge him for bed and board.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.