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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Using DC's earned money for ourselves?

238 replies

EatonEntry · 27/05/2018 14:33

To pay off our outstanding debts?

In a nutshell, myself and DH have quite a few things on finance that we are dying to pay off so we can be much better off eacgh month. We have both vowed never to have anything on finance again (we did it in a made rush when we needed things to move with).

Our DC is a baby and a very successful model.

Would we be unreasonable to use his money that earns to pay off some stuff?

I feel sick at the thought. It feels so wrong. It's in DC's own account, and I'd be withdrawing it from there. I feel like it should be his to have put away for his first car, perhaps to help him at university if he wishes to go, perhaps to help put down the deposit on a mortgage for himself.

DH's argument is we have extortionate rent to pay, and that money could make life from month to month a lot easier if we pay off our finance plans.

I think and feel that the whole thing is wrong, but I'm open to be told DH has more sense.

Who is right?

Sad
OP posts:
Oliversmumsarmy · 27/05/2018 20:06

I think the premium bond story is made up.

No idea why the parents were taken to court. It would be the gp's that got the winnings.

Perfectly1mperfect · 27/05/2018 20:18

Sorry if I have missed this earlier in the thread but...
If you didn't borrow the money, how long would it take to pay off the debts?

YearOfYouRemember · 28/05/2018 11:38

Utter bollocks that children's winnings go into parents bank accounts. My dc wins regularly and the winnings are reinvested into more bonds. We signed for that to happen. Other dc is 17 and he could have chosen to receive a cheque when they won but they opted to have them reinvested.

Oliversmumsarmy · 28/05/2018 18:33

But if you signed to get the cheques then they arrive made out to parent.

That is what happens with ds's premium bond winnings.

starzig · 28/05/2018 18:39

My problem is you are setting s precedence to an extent. Yes you'll pay of the finance and swear to never buy anything on finance again but the very fact you are in this situation suggests your heads are easy turned. If you fall back into old ways you are no better off and child has lost their money for good

YearOfYouRemember · 28/05/2018 19:38

Oliversmumsarmy - we've never received cheques. Right from the start it's been a case of winnings are reinvested. Even when one dc was old enough to chose the cheque arrived addressed to him.

Oliversmumsarmy · 28/05/2018 20:45

Ds's are written to me.

Labradoodliedoodoo · 28/05/2018 20:48

Is your baby paying you for your time/transport/admin. Because you do need to take something to cover your time used.

gingergiraffe · 28/05/2018 21:01

For what it’s worth my dcs did a bit of film and theatre work when they were younger. Two were also paid choristers. Along with bits of birthday money they were given which they really did not need to spend, all of it was paid into savings accounts and forgotten about until it reached a certain amount and I then paid it into a PEP, and finally an isa. I enjoyed watching small amounts grow and felt proud when they reached their late twenties and I was able to cash them in and give dcs the money to invest for themselves.

We were never particularly well off until we retired, and not even now, but I never once thought about using their money, even for school trips.

Your situation is a little different but even so, I think you should not touch it. You need to organise your own finances which in time will be resolved and you will probably feel better for it.

user1471426142 · 29/05/2018 08:32

Ideally I wouldn’t want to touch my children’s money but I would touch money I had given them with no hesitation (depending on the account) if i was struggling financially. There is clearly a benefit to the whole family of being debt free and having more disposable income. For me it is a moot point though as monetary gifts + small monthly savings have gone into a S&S isa that can’t be accessed until 18. I wouldn’t have done that if i didn’t have other savings that could be accessed in an emergency.

For me earnings become trickier. They are the work of the child (although clearly at this age really the parent). I’d also be more reluctant to use gifts that came from others and I wouldn’t touch inheritance money unless there was a clear and direct benefit to the child.

PhilODox · 29/05/2018 10:43

If borrowing£800 frees up £250 a month, you pay £250 a month back until it's repaid. There's no excuse for paying back over two, or three years.

You need to realise that it's not just the initial sum that is missing from his account, but the compound interest he'll miss out on over the 40 months. (Though I'm not sure understanding how interest works is your strong point!)

As other posters have said- you need to buy secondhand or go without if you cannot afford something.

Allabouts · 29/05/2018 10:48

If borrowing£800 frees up £250 a month, you pay £250 a month back until it's repaid. There's no excuse for paying back over two, or three years

You need to realise that it's not just the initial sum that is missing from his account, but the compound interest he'll miss out on over the 40 months. (Though I'm not sure understanding how interest works is your strong point!)

I think it's quite obvious that the OP means that extra £250 would make their day to day lives easier so no, paying it back at £250 doesn't make sense

And that last comment was a bit of a dig, wasn't it?

Interest rates won't be much over even 1 year for £800.

DuchyDuke · 29/05/2018 10:54

You need to take legal advice.

PhilODox · 29/05/2018 10:55

I think it's quite obvious that the OP means that extra £250 would make their day to day lives easier so no, paying it back at £250 doesn't make sense

You don't use your children's money to make your day-to-day life easier! You earn more or cut back.

DuchyDuke · 29/05/2018 10:56

I agree with @starzig. OP and partner clearly can’t manage their money properly. If they use the child’s once they will fall into a cycle of needing it again and again. Best to cut their cloth to their reduced circumstances now.

CocoAndTheChocolates · 29/05/2018 11:13

My DD models. Payments used to come to me but then the agency said they now had to make sure all £ went into the names child's account.

It may be just our agent decided this or it may be some legal thing happened and agents everywhere had to ensure this. I actually prefer this, I could easily spend it and forget to move over to her account.

Some of the jobs are far away and travel costs are usually not included. Agent told me many of the parents took travel costs from the fee. So if child earns £150 and it cost £50 to get there then parents would take that £50 once it hit their D.C. account. This makes sense as parent shouldn't be down in money just to help D.C. earn.

We've been thinking about using her earnings to pay for her activities. But I really want her to have a nest egg as an adult so have resisted and she does less than what she would like.

It's a tricky situation you're in. Do you think you could get yourself to a place where you could pay DS account and get back to what he had by the time he's 18? If so, I would, especially as it will benefit him if the family is rocky financially.

MapleLeafRag · 29/05/2018 11:28

You should consider putting some of the money your child earns into a children’s ISA in their name that can’t be accessed until they are 18.

Oliversmumsarmy · 29/05/2018 11:36

A lot of friends pay for their DC's activities with their earnings. They look at it as an investment in their future.

Who knows those piano lessons might make a top song writer or concert pianist or those extra dance lessons could just be the polish to get into the Royal Ballet School

I have always looked on it as an investment in their futures and if we hit hard times then it has been the thing that has got us through.

Mine have had plenty extra back .

blackteasplease · 29/05/2018 11:39

Don't do it. If you were trying to free up money how would you be paying him back?

theWarOnPeace · 29/05/2018 11:41

Re pp saying the OP facilitates the modelling - any reputable company pays separate chaperone fees, surely? So OP is getting paid for taking the baby to and from jobs. In theory, I could stand to use a lump sum of my child’s to pay off something with extortionate interest, but I know myself and I trust myself to pay it back, I also know I’m bloody good with money and am good at living within my means. In what ways is the OP cutting back to ensure better financial security going forward?

lostinsunshine · 29/05/2018 11:48

It's the baby's money. If you've been stupid with your own money (and I have on occasion), sort it by your own means.

Honeyroar · 29/05/2018 11:51

If I knew that my parents had struggled while I had money sitting in a bank account while I was too young to know or touch it id be upset. As long as the money was paid back it really doesn't matter, even if it takes a good while to pay it back. It seems silly that the family is living on the breadline wh n they could be doing more activities with the child if they paid off the debt.

There are some very holier than though types on this thread!

lostinsunshine · 29/05/2018 11:59

The family is on the breadline because of bad decisions on handling money. Again, I've been there.
Don't make it worse because you will probably never pay him back.

Littlechocola · 29/05/2018 12:07

What are the other options op?

KTheGrey · 29/05/2018 12:38

Work out your % as his agent / manager / chauffeur and chaperone and invoice it. Behind every great baby model stands a great team of people 😀 In this case you're having to be all of them.

More seriously, the weakness of having a baby model as an earner is that the income is unpredictable and insecure and that you are putting your own career development in hold for it. So it's super for the baby, if s/he gets the income, but it costs you.

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