to be annoyed that sonographer slipped up?

[JingleJelly]

Had a scan at 17 weeks due to some bleeding. They could see where it was coming from and told me it's nothing to worry about but to take it easy. Sonographer said that as I'm there they'd have a look at the baby to make sure all is okay. He was lovely and had a look at everything as I was very anxious and have had numerous miscarriages so wanted to reassure me. He said he was going to look at the genitals to make sure all normal and to look away. I did as we want a surprise. After this, he stopped referring to baby as 'baby' and started using 'he'. The assistant in the room glared at him and gave him a very 'what are you doing!' type look, and he reverted back to saying 'baby'.

I'm not going to lie, I'm annoyed. It's not the end if the world and I'm so pleased baby is ok, but still saddened that I'm fairly sure it's a boy. I haven't told DP and am not going to, as I would like at least one of us to have the surprise we wanted.

AIBU to feel miffed by this? Anyone had the same thing? First baby and a bit disappointed that's all...

My boss was told she was having a boy - but when it popped out it was a girl! Sometimes their fingers get in the line of view, or something. It's never an exact science.....!

My sisters friend had 2 boys and really wanted a girl. She asked sonographer to tell her. She was told it was a girl. She was so happy and went out and bought everything pink. Took tickets off clothing and washed and ironed. She had baby boy. She had told everyone she was having a girl and lots of people came to see her and gave her pink stuff. She swapped what she could but said she wishes she had never asked.

OP - YANBU. I have 4DC. With the first two we didn't want to know and didn't find out. When I was 18 weeks pregnant with DC3, my DM died suddenly. DH, DC & I were on holiday at the time and when we had dropped our dog off for DP to look after, DM had said she thought I was expecting a girl. I was still very emotional at my 20 week scan and, wanting the comfort of knowing that DM had been right, we asked the sonographer to tell us the gender & she confirmed I was expecting DD2. In retrospect, I should never have asked - I would have been disappointed if she had been a boy, not due to any particular preference on our part (we already had a DD and a DS) but because I wanted DM to have been right. Fortunately DC3 was a girl so I felt my DM was connected.

Between DC3 and DC4 I suffered a missed miscarriage and a miscarriage. I needed several scans during my pregnancy with DC4 but neither DH or I wanted to know the gender. It wasn't until I had a scan at 34 weeks & the sonographer made a comment during the scan that I knew the gender. I can't recall exactly what she said, but I clearly remember her saying "yes, it's a girl., didn't you know? " I remember being shocked and saying that, despite having numerous scans, until then I hadn't known the gender, to which she replied *well, you do now!" I was disappointed to know (not that it was a girl, but hadn't wanted to find out), but was more shocked by the sonographer"s attitude than anything. Apart from DH, I didn't share the knowledge with anyone, knowing mistakes could be made. At the end of the day, even though I was disappointed, I was just relieved baby was healthy.

My sonographers kept saying she. I had a boy.

One of my friends was told girl at every single scan post 16 weeks. Gave birth the the little boy she'd always desperately wanted but had been expecting her 3rd and final girl.
They can be wrong, you won't be 100% til baby arrives. You might be 99% sure, but its still not knowing.
I think id have to tell the dad that sonographer had slipped and used a pronoun though. I wouldn't say "he said he" but i'd have to tell him i probably knew gender as was a slip up at scan. That way you dont have to hide that you probably know so not lying to him, but dont have to divulge what was referred to either.

Yes. You are unreasonable. It’s a hard enough job and you should be grateful he wasn’t giving you terrible news again.

You’ve been through enough pain and maybe you want to deflect your worries but please please let this go. Enjoy your pregnancy and love your boy when he arrives safe and healthy.

Sonographers can default to "he" for the baby in order to prevent confusion with the mum who is "she". It's a touch old fashioned, but it happens - all sonographers have their own way of doing things.

In the grand scheme of what you could be told at a scan being maybe accidently told the sex is not a big deal. There's all sorts of catastrophic news you could have had. Sorry if my comment is a bit harsh, personal experience. I hope all goes well with rest of preg and baby is healthy.

I am a sonographer and occasionally parents misinterpret my saying 'baby's' leg or head for 'his' leg and they say 'you said his!!'. But I honestly haven't a clue what the sex is as I haven't looked, they have just misheard me. I suppose the end bit of baby's could sound a bit like 'his'. Certainly the genitals are not an area that is required to be assessed, I suspect they were measuring the length of the thigh bone. To be honest, as long and baby and mum are well, don't care what sex the baby is! It sounds as though you were reading into this more than what was going on.

Op I get the disappointed feeling at knowing.
I didn’t find out with my first and wanted the same with my second. Unfortunately due to a medical issue it was either find out what we were having or not know the medical issue until later scans or possibly birth. We opted to know the medical issue. As it turned out actually the issue was nothing to do with the reproductive system so wouldn’t have made a difference not knowing what we were having.
Sometimes during pregnancy I felt a little annoyed (for want of a better word) that we were not going to get the same surprise I had with my first when that was the plan.

Your baby is fine. That’s the main thing. This will mean nothing once the baby is born. Move on and enjoy your pregnancy

I know a couple of people who didn't find out their baby's sex - the sonographer stll referred to one baby as "she" and the other one as "he" when they went for their scans. They both had boys. One of them asked the sonographer about it and they said they refer to all babies as "he/she" as default. So maybe this sonographer does too?

My dd was supposed to be a surprise gender. Unfortunately she spread eagled during a scan revealing her gender to all quite clearly! Don't feel too bad, these things happen.

I was told at 2 scans that my 2nd child was a boy....we got a girl. They do get it wrong sometimes.

I too think you shouldn't buy all blue, imagine the surprise on your face if it's a girl. I'd stick with white, mint and lemon just to be on the safe side.

Annoyed, yes, of course, it would definitely be 'annoying', but that's it, it's happened, move on.
Worse things to ask for advice on than something that's already happened, and cant be changed.
I'm sure it happens a lot, must be part of the territory for them, and very hard not to blurt it out.