Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed that sonographer slipped up?

167 replies

JingleJelly · 26/05/2018 10:29

Had a scan at 17 weeks due to some bleeding. They could see where it was coming from and told me it's nothing to worry about but to take it easy. Sonographer said that as I'm there they'd have a look at the baby to make sure all is okay. He was lovely and had a look at everything as I was very anxious and have had numerous miscarriages so wanted to reassure me. He said he was going to look at the genitals to make sure all normal and to look away. I did as we want a surprise. After this, he stopped referring to baby as 'baby' and started using 'he'. The assistant in the room glared at him and gave him a very 'what are you doing!' type look, and he reverted back to saying 'baby'.

I'm not going to lie, I'm annoyed. It's not the end if the world and I'm so pleased baby is ok, but still saddened that I'm fairly sure it's a boy. I haven't told DP and am not going to, as I would like at least one of us to have the surprise we wanted.

AIBU to feel miffed by this? Anyone had the same thing? First baby and a bit disappointed that's all...

OP posts:
Shadow666 · 26/05/2018 10:52

Yeah, maybe it was actually a girl and he was just saying he to mess with your head. People are evil!

Original poster
JingleJelly · 26/05/2018 10:53

@Shadow666 ha! Can you imagine... that would be a double bluff and a half!

OP posts:
worridmum · 26/05/2018 10:53

the default pronoun is he though as if they said IT is healthy loads would complain

Original poster
JingleJelly · 26/05/2018 10:55

@worridmum it's more that he went from using 'baby' on to 'he' immediately after checking the sex. But you're right (annoyingly so! Not sure why 'he' is the preferred term)

OP posts:
ReggaetonLente · 26/05/2018 11:00

Our sonographer used he a couple of times during the 20w scan, at the end we asked as we wanted to know and she’s a girl!

I think sometimes they get tired of saying baby baby baby. I wouldn’t be too sure. The look from the assistant could have been to say stop to avoid confusing you?

Chocmallows · 26/05/2018 11:02

I call cats "she" and dogs "he" and wonder why, it just seems easier than saying "cat" and "dog". The sonographer another time may refer to a baby as "she" without knowing. The person watching may or may not have spotted the gender, but may be more annoyed by "baby" not being used.

Basically, you still don't know so stick with buying neutral colours and when you see your baby's face you won't care as you will have a real person in front of you. Good luck, it's exciting x

cistersofterfy · 26/05/2018 11:02

Friend of mine was told she was having a second boy after scan. Gave birth to a girl.

Jenny70 · 26/05/2018 11:02

We had this, except it was our OB not sonographer. OB knew we didn't want to know, and for one particular scan he always called the baby a "he" (he's doing well, he's a good size, here's his kidney/heart whatever).

My DH wasn't at this appointment, but I was convinced it was another boy (I'd had one already), with his comments, the fact my pregnancy was exactly the same in looks/feel to first, my DH's family hadn't had a girl born in 65 years, I was convinced I was having second boy... all fine. Didn't tell DH, played along with choosing girl names, but really just let him pick, as in my mind it was redundant.

Come delivery, was slightly shocked to be told it was a healthy baby girl!

There is hope you don't actually know.

Zaphodsotherhead · 26/05/2018 11:05

My son and DIL were told they were having a girl and on repeated scans this was reiterated.

He's now nearly three.

MrsOprah · 26/05/2018 11:06

just so you know, i thought they'd slipped up at various points by using a pronouns....they hadn't, 3 suprises with each pregnancy.
Especially because pronoun used wasnt even the babies gender! Sometimes they'd say baby then switch to pronoun, so i was convinced it was revealed, it really wasnt.

MrsOprah · 26/05/2018 11:09

pronouns are prob just habit, rather than them revealing

worridmum · 26/05/2018 11:09

but people would be offended at the fetus being called a baby too and by calling the baby a fetus its a no win situation but now that you mentioned he went from baby to HE does sound like s slip up while i would be annoyed he is only human and people make mistakes.

MrsOprah · 26/05/2018 11:10

so...no need to fib, because reality is, as few posts have confirmed, you still dont know - enjoy your suprise

Original poster
JingleJelly · 26/05/2018 11:10

@worridmum really? I can't imagine anyone being offended at their baby being called a baby... not anyone I know anyway... Confused

OP posts:
Tobesoconfused · 26/05/2018 11:13

I can't really understand why people don't want to know bit that's just me and I have no patience to wait for things haha. Don't be too annoyed now you know just start planning for your son.

Kaykay06 · 26/05/2018 11:14

I had four surprises, although by boy no4 i wasn’t that surprised he was a boy 😊. I went to sisters 20 week scan, said we didn’t want to know but it was glaringly obvious he was a boY, I noticed but never said but my sister said once we left well that’ll be another boy in the family (she has one and a daughter) so my mum has 6 grandsons one granddaughter. Baby was born a few weeks ago and is beautiful 😊😊 healthy

Shame this happened but it wasn’t meant and am glad all was well - I bled with all 4 of mine was such a worry x

Dobby1sAFreeElf · 26/05/2018 11:15

With DS the monographer referred to him as her. With DD the surgeon doing my c sec referred to her as him and this was after her birth! Sometimes its habit.

But no, YANBU to be annoyed.

Dobby1sAFreeElf · 26/05/2018 11:16

or sonographer. not even sure how I managed to cock that one up Blush

Pengggwn · 26/05/2018 11:18

This happened to me. I asked whether I was having a boy, then, and was told no, it was just a catch-all. Hmm

Baby girl, as it turned out.

Nothisispatrick · 26/05/2018 11:18

Don't be so sure. My sonographer used he all the way through my 20 weeks scan until the end when she told us it was a girl.

TheFairyCaravan · 26/05/2018 11:19

It happened to us too.

I had a scan at 35weeks with DS2 and back then you didn’t get told what you were having. They didn’t say to look away as they went over his genitals which were incredibly clear. We didn’t mind at all but we didn’t tell anyone so they still had the surprise when he was born.

glitterfarts · 26/05/2018 11:22

OP - I had the same with a sonographer for my first, who knew we didn't want to know, and did a scan and started referring to the baby as he. I glared at her, and very angrily told her I hadn't wanted to know. She said, I call all babies he or baby as I don't like "it".

I wasn't convinced and thought it was just an excuse for her slip up.
DD1 is now almost 10....

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 26/05/2018 11:25

Don't be too sure OP !
I was told that I was carrying a girl, moons ago, and gave birth to a bouncing baby boy ! 😮

Ceecee18 · 26/05/2018 11:26

At a 17 week gender scan we were told we were having a boy, at the 20 week scan (the NHS one but weirdly performed by the same person as the gender one) we were told a girl. Turned out it was a girl and apparently at 17 weeks they saw the cord and thought it was a boy.

Ipdipme · 26/05/2018 11:31

FWIW a family member had 3 scans due to extra checks. At all scans they were told girl. So certain after 3 scans that much pink stuff was bought.

Day of delivery and a little boy appeared! Grin

A massive surprise but after 3 scans you’d think them odds were teeny. So it can often be wrong. Especially at 17 weeks.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.