To be annoyed at having to keep quiet about my baby's sex?

[mintich]

I am pregnant with my second baby and my in-laws have decided they don't want to know the sex of the baby. They did this with my first baby and it was stressful trying not to slip up. A member of the family did slip up and they were really angry!!
This time more family members on their side have decided they don't want to know but I just think it's stupid! It's our news and we should decide whether it's a secret. It makes me not want to talk about the pregnancy at all with them. AIBU?

My parents were like this with my brothers wife. It was crazy - thankfully we didn’t take any notice and ‘slipped up’ so they knew pretty much straight away and we didn’t have to keep it a secret for long. Silly to have most of family and friends knowing and not being able to say anything

You don't need that stress. Fuck that. Congratulations op

Dh and I kept the sex of our baby a secret. This is because my mother is controlling. I wanted something about my baby that was just mine. My mother spent the whole of my pregnancy bemoaning her first pregnancy and the birth, which was almost 40 years prior. She craved to know symptoms and how it was going just so she could immediately switch the conversation to her.

Sounds as if you’re having the opposite problem. In your position, I would most certainly tell your mother. This is your child and she doesn’t get to make decisions about your family.

Wtf are you doing keeping YOUR baby's details a secret for other people?! What weirdos they are!
Just come out with it 'by accident'

Definitely the vicar route! They can't react in church!!

@Juells exactly!

when the baby is born refuse point blank to tell them the sex. Tell them you thought you didn't want to know - you had your chance, sorry about that. You could surely keep that up for a day or 2.

Get the minister to mention it at the christening service!

I'd tell them it was a girl, then say it's a boy next time you see them then tell them it's a girl the next time. Call it Jo or another androgynous name so they are completely confused and don't know what the truth is

I was laughing in my head at the suggestion of telling them that you like the idea of continuing with the sex secrecy post birth and teaching them gender neutral pronouns and using words like non-binary.

But .................. coaching your child to say ''my brother'' is cuter!

@mrspotter12, oh that's hilarious! my own mother hates when she thinks mean thoughts about the vicar.

YANBU. I’d be pretty pissed off with folk trying to rain on my parade if I were in your position. They need to GTF

You should definitely respect your in-laws wishes, but you should do so after the birth as well. Just refuse to tell them. Make sure the baby is neutrally dressed when they visit.

Tell them you'll reveal the gender when they hit puberty.

Buy them some ear plugs to wear for the rest of the pregnancy. Then scream it from the roof tops.

Me and my husband didn't want to find out the sex and our families went on about it the while pregnancy. It's was hard enough not finding out anyway never mind the constant reminders lol. Tell them to get over it, your baby your decision. You wouldn't let them made decisions about medical things so why this?? Congrats by the way 😁

@Hippee

My preferred option would be telling them it was a girl and then, when the baby is born, sayng "Well we thought it would be an even bigger surprise"

This^^

Is amazing

I would so do this!!🤣

What a load of weirdos.

My FIL was like this for my first pregnancy. By baby number 2 I'd had enough of the bollocks and told him he'd had his babies, these were mine and we'd decided to find out, so tough!!

@zigzagintotheblue what was his reaction?

Lots of cats bum face, but I ignored. Luckily they're about 2 hours away so I didn't have to bother. We trained ds1 to say my brother instead of the baby at all opportunities as well 😂😂

Your body, your baby, your choice. Tell them the stress of keeping secrets will be bad for you and bad for the baby.