To be annoyed at having to keep quiet about my baby's sex?

[mintich]

I am pregnant with my second baby and my in-laws have decided they don't want to know the sex of the baby. They did this with my first baby and it was stressful trying not to slip up. A member of the family did slip up and they were really angry!!
This time more family members on their side have decided they don't want to know but I just think it's stupid! It's our news and we should decide whether it's a secret. It makes me not want to talk about the pregnancy at all with them. AIBU?

Why would you pander to this ridiculousness? They don't get to decide how/ when/ what details you announce about your pregnancy. If they don't want to know, the onus is on them to avoid finding out.

Does your oldest child know (and is she of an age where she will talk about it)? I think I'd just let her spread the news, assumes she's old enough!

'Okay, I won't tell you. But please be aware I have posted it on my Facebook, told all my friends and my side of the family know.'

If they want to stay off social media for the next 20 weeks they can do.

Congratulations on your wee man xx

I'm a granny and would prefer not to know a baby's sex until it's born.
But, I have no right to tell parents what to do about their news.

Congratulations on your little boy.

I'd now be sooo tempted to have some fun winding them up here. Just tell them loudly that it is a girl. Watch them blow up. Keep the secret going until the baby is born, then announce the birth of your DS.

No my little girl is only 1 (just turned!) so can't rely on her. But my whole family know,all my friends, and I'm not telling them to keep quiet at the christening. I don't want everyone trying not to trip up!
I like the idea of saying it's a girl! 😂

Yes OP. Do it! Say it is a girl.

My dad did this - everyone knew but him and dd was a surprise, second time round he insisted the same again and all went well until I was 7 months pregnant and we were all sat around the table and my dh said ‘what about Hugo?’ Which kind of ruined it for him it was a total PITA

Tell them and if they say "but we wanted it to be a surprise" say well this is your surprise.

Alternatively, stick with the secret and then when the baby is born refuse point blank to tell them the sex. Tell them you thought you didn't want to know - you had your chance, sorry about that. You could surely keep that up for a day or 2.

Announce at the Christening…

When SIL had her baby MIL didn't want to know the sex, so therefore nobody was allowed to know in case they let it out by accident. So everyone else had to wait 9 months for one stupid woman, even though others desperately wanted to know.

When I was pregnant she did the same. After a week or two I said "him" by accident and that put a stop to her nonsense.

I'm glad I'm not the only one. I can't believe so many people have had this!

It's your news, not theirs. They are being very unreasonable and controlling. I would tell them just to annoy them 😁

Take it that you already have a lovely christening outfit for you DD otherwise a t shirt with 'I'm going to be a fab big sister to my bro' should clear everything up :-)

My preferred option would be telling them it was a girl and then, when the baby is born, sayng "Well we thought it would be an even bigger surprise"

Alternatively, get the vicar to mention it at the christening.

I would use it as excuse to not see them for months

^^ this! YANBU

I can imagine this to be very frustrating. And the daft thing is it's either one or the other. Hardly a surprise either way. In this day and age both female and male children have a similar start in life so I can't really understand the need to build up the surprise element.

I'd have a big tacky party gender reveal that I otherwise don't want, just to make a point of not inviting them.

Rather than policing your language to avoid pronouns every time you speak (which would be difficult and stressful - let them know that you will be using pronouns but will randomly and unevenly use he/his/him and she/hers/her trying to use both sets broadly a similar number of times. Then so long as you do keep a vague idea of how evenly distributed the pronouns are any unpoliced emergence of he/his/him will be ignored.

“Oh yes we’re having a little boy”

“We wanted a surprise!”

“Aren’t you surprised now?!”

How is not wanting to know the sex controlling?
Don't tell them, easy.

Posters are too free with their descriptions of people being controlling, and not wanting to know the sex of your grandchild is not controlling FGS

How is not wanting to know the sex controlling? hmm
Don't tell them, easy.

Because they are controlling the OP's conversation and talk about her baby. Instead of saying "I'll be so glad when he arrives" she has to stop and think and say "I'll be so glad when IT arrives"

If you know your baby's sex it is easy to not tell people but not easy to never allude to it in their company.

But OP's in laws have demanded she watch her own talk about her own child not just once but twice.

I don't care if they are controlling or not but they surely are tiresome.

It’s not fucking “easy”

Geez..

YANBU. Its your news.

mintich As you have your DDs christening coming up, have the vicar add it into his speeches at the christening - how DD will make an amazing big sister to the little brother/sister (delete as applicable) you are expecting.

Let’s see them have a bitch at the vicar 😂