To be annoyed at having to keep quiet about my baby's sex?

[mintich]

I am pregnant with my second baby and my in-laws have decided they don't want to know the sex of the baby. They did this with my first baby and it was stressful trying not to slip up. A member of the family did slip up and they were really angry!!
This time more family members on their side have decided they don't want to know but I just think it's stupid! It's our news and we should decide whether it's a secret. It makes me not want to talk about the pregnancy at all with them. AIBU?

I have spent my morning moaning about my in laws but even they are not Thais batshit. It's not their baby, not their choice. Crazy people.

My mum did this with my daughter - drove us all mad. I wish we had just phoned her up and said "it's a boy - get over it"

It makes things really difficult - it's always a nice thing to hear whether the baby is a boy or a girl - I don't see that it matters whether you find out at 20 weeks or 40 weeks.

Up to Mum and Dad and NOBODY else.

I don't understand folks like this. People seem to be getting better and better at making other people's pregnancies about themselves! Just tell them (and also tell them to get a grip!)

I'd either go for announcing on facebook or just not discussing pregnancy with them at all.

I think babies bring out the worst in people. My Gran is busy telling everyone we know what sex this baby is but are refusing to tell anyone. Given my Df died when I was 26 weeks pregnant and had asked (he thought girl) it's really hurtful but she won't shut up about it to the point I'm just ignoring her phone calls.

For your in-laws, OP.

Just let it slip! Once the cat is out of the bag its out of the bag.

Tell them you are going to announce it on Facebook as your friends want to know and anyone not wanting to hear the news should block you. They are being ridiculous

@Totem543

I don't understand folks like this. People seem to be getting better and better at making other people's pregnancies about themselves!

I hate the "We're pregnant" announcements. 😡 'We' aren't pregnant, the woman is.

it's totally up to you.
Nobody has any right to get 'really angry' about your decisions.
They sound a bit odd tbh. are they this controlling and weird about everything?

Gender neutral name. Never reveal the sex.lol

They’ll only get worse when the baby is here. What else will they have control over? Make a stand and tell whoever you want.

Noqont Inspired lol!

My inlaws did the exact same thing and I found it very stressful. My husband supported them and I was furious but he let it slip though within weeks that it was a boy! Next time if they pull the same shit I will be telling them exactly how stressful I found it and that I won’t be putting myself through it again, end of story.

We'd this bs with DHs sibling his DPs knew we'd found out at a recent scan and were excited to find out too.
Dhs sib announced loudly "NO stop it I don't want to know I want it to be a surprise "
Which would be fair enough if it was their own child/pregnancy

Fortunately Dh accidentally let it slip almost immediately after his sibling finished talking. " well they are 80% sure he is what they think it is"
Thus proving how difficult it was going to be keep that pretence up for 20+ more weeks.

Op this is your news your surprise you get to decide to keep it a secret or not!

It’s your choice absolutely

Your in-laws are being passive aggressive about this - for the second time. How unpleasant

Try not to stress - they’re very odd and creepily controlling

I don't think I'd play along.

We had the opposite huge pressure to find out and apparently it was vital they could shop for the correct colours, despite us not liking pink or blue, and everyone kept asking them and they couldn't say so we must find out and they had names they liked for particular sex .

We didn't for first two - and they couldn't be sure for third.

You could be a bit PA - start talking about your first born's brother or sister and if they get upset say well that your first born being prepared is more important than their wishes. Or be upfront and say it's adding to your stress and the baby is a boy or girl.

Cripes, why are you going along with their madness? Just tell them, let them get angry if that's what they choose to do, then enjoy the rest of your pregnancy stress free :)

I have no idea why I even played along last time!! Every visit was stressful in case I slipped up.
They are controlling and think of themselves as the heads of the family so you're right, this is their way of owning it.
I don't understand how a phone call at 20 weeks or at birth is any different! It doesn't make the baby less special

I think I'll definitely use @mumofamunchkin line. We have my daughter's christening coming up and I don't want to be nervous about saying the wrong thing at our own event!

I would also go with getting your first child ready for the arrival. They can't expect them to be secretive.
Congrats by the way.

Just teach your older child "my sister" or "my brother" and they can let it slip, not you.

Ridiculous to be trying to control someone ELSE's pregnancy news!!

They are controlling and think of themselves as the heads of the family

Well, they're not the heads of your family.

Really, the sooner you and your DH start completely ignoring or nipping in the bud their attempts to be boss, the sooner they can have a tantrum or two and you can all settle down to being adults with your own families to manage, together.

That's why mumofmunchkins line is perfect. You just tell them no. Clear, direct and absolutely makes it clear that they don't get to be in charge here.

A member of the family did slip up and they were really angry!! - And? Seriously - And?

So what if they are angry? Why are you scared of them? How would this anger manifest? And why don't you (who holds all the power/grandchildren) stop seeing them them, if they scare you?

mintich the christening sounds like just the occasion to let it slip!!

Why should you guys have this stress, it's entirely up to them to contrive they don't hear.