To be annoyed at having to keep quiet about my baby's sex?

[mintich]

I am pregnant with my second baby and my in-laws have decided they don't want to know the sex of the baby. They did this with my first baby and it was stressful trying not to slip up. A member of the family did slip up and they were really angry!!
This time more family members on their side have decided they don't want to know but I just think it's stupid! It's our news and we should decide whether it's a secret. It makes me not want to talk about the pregnancy at all with them. AIBU?

Christening is the perfect time. If anyone asks, simply tell them baby's sex. If inlaws kick off it's not your issue if someone else told them.

Why are they under the impression you are having a baby in order to provide them with an entertaining event?

People are so selfish! I had that from random people I hardly knew, saying, “Don’t tell me, I don’t want to spoil the surprise.”. It’s completely unreasonable of them and I’d definitely reveal to everyone else if that’s what you want.

I also have never understood the surprise element only being at birth.
Of course it’s a surprise whenever you find out.

It’s your baby isn’t it? Just don’t keep it quiet. It’s your choice. They’ll just have to get over it.

Get a friend to let slip very loudly on social media!

Fucking hell, are you their handmaid?!

It's awkward! We didn't find out the first time, so we couldn't slip up but the second time we wanted to know so that we knew whether or not we needed to keep all the clothes. But my mum didn't want to know so it was difficult keeping it a secret from her. I

You could have fun with it. As someone suggested earlier, keep referring to it by name, but choose 'unusual' names and change frequently.

eg Derek, Humphrey, Roy, Horatio, Brian etc etc

Ridiculous behaviour
Totally your decision, not theirs

Then when they ask name and sex say you're keeping out a suprise until they find out naturally, but you're calling it Bob in the interim

I'd probably not tell them, but (for example if your having a boy) have loads of blue balloons around your house when they visit with blue streamers. Every time you see them make sure you only wear blue etc etc. Basically so everything they see is always blue 😁

YANBU. What is wrong with people? Sorry to be mean to your ILs but this is very selfish and just plain sad.

If I were you, I’d ‘slip up’ on purpose.

It’s your child not theirs, and they shouldn’t expect you to withhold information to please them.

Just say ok i wont tell you, but dont buy me any fucken pink onesies ok???!!!!!

Tell everyone else. Someone is bound to tell then and you can say " but I said it was a secret!" It's not their baby, they are being very selfish. If you want to tell people it's your decision & they can f**k right off.

I would tell someone I'd like a surprise if they said they knew what the baby was but it wouldn't bother me if they let slip. We have one relative expecting and I'm almost certain she's found what what she is having.

I would just ignore that shit from them and say it publicly if I wanted to.

If they kicked off over that I would tell them not to be so bloody ridiculous.

I don't know why I'm scared to say it. I'm known as someone who will always stand up for myself and other people but yet I feel wary of doing it in this situation! I suppose it's because no one in their family does..... I should make that change because I'm really pissed off!

Well they won't have to be involved if they don't want to know.
They do sound weird and very close to your family.
I hardly have contact with extended family, but certainly wouldn't let them control any aspect of my life.
get it up on fb, warn them first you are going to share your news and they'll have to avoid if they don't want to know.
They can actively avoid, you don't have to actively avoid not spilling the beans.

I would tell them that you will probably be telling people the sex of the baby in the next week or so. If they don't want to know then it's up to them to ensure that they don't hear anything. You will understand completely if they feel that they have to go no contact until after the birth.

How very fucking weird and rude of them!

I'd go one of two ways with this, I'd either refuse to talk about the baby AT ALL with them; OR I'd say "look I'm not putting up with this, the baby is a [whichever sex] and I'm not going to stress myself out trying to remember that YOU don't want to know, which isn't relevant anyway"

If you piss them off, it sounds like that might be a bit of a bonus, actually...

I wouldn't 'silp' - that still seems as if you're pandering to them and you'll probably feel the need to apologise for your 'mistake'. Just tell them you won't be keeping it a secret. If they want to keep away from everyone who knows until after the birth then that's up to them.

So ridiculous of me to ask considering I don't know you. But it's all so exciting.
Do you know the gender yet and if so, please share with us

I do! It's a boy!

I think I would just act as if they hadn't said anything, and if anyone asks just say 'oh yes it's a boy' and then if PIL's complain say 'oh we decided we'd prefer to tell people what our baby's sex is.' Act like you never for a moment thought their opinion was relevant - because it isn't.

They're super controlling (as everyone has said)

Congratulations