Whats you opinion of "stay at home wives"

[strawberryperogi]

After reading another thread about SAHMs I am curious about what people would say about SAHWs, I know you will all say it should just be unemployed but if the person isn't looking for a job then are they really in that catagory?

Could you respect or be friends with a woman who didn't work and earn or at least look after her children?

Just curious!

My DH funds many of my indulgences. He loves doing so and why would we stop doing something we both enjoy?

You enjoy spending your dp money,aye sure thing

I work pt now, to put back some of what I have had from th state for 25 years as a sahp.
It's not much pay, but helps to keep the wolf from the door.
I was a sahm for 25 years and wouldn't want to have worked, I loved my time with the kids, looking after the family and my hobbies and interests.
Dh around quite a lot as we have our own business, so maybe I was a prostitute as had the time during the day for wild sex in our hidden dungeon.
Some wohp believe sahms dh's are out at work all day, not involved with family life and leaving the drudge to the women
Oh, they also leave you because working women are more interesting, because, of course they have a job to talk about apparently.
It's not such a good idea to generalise. Some of us have build up enough financial security to be just fine in the case of divorce, too.

ignore Lipstick, she is so rabidly obsessive about having her own money she tells her partner when he owes her tuppence, and she's vicious to women who she thinks are being supported by someone else.
Must be some massive chip on that shoulder.

I always ignore posters who are entirely ignorant of economics and trade!

I suppose I’m a SAHW as all my kids are at school.

It’s great! I watch a lot of telly and read a lot of books, I volunteer a few hours a week, in the recent good weather I’ve landscaped my garden and then lounged in it.

DH is a high earner, I’ve only ever had McJobs, there would be little point me working. Plus I’m as mad as a brush and get ESA, but nobody in RL would guess that as if I’m out and about it’s a good day.

Good to know people think I’m a freeloading prossie.

I don't think of them as unemployed, more non employed. As long as it's what they wanted then I think it's ok, I'd worry about their financial independence though and also what situation they'd find themselves in if their husband died or left them. I imagine they'd have to be quite wealthy to afford it though so perhaps that wouldn't be an issue?

I had a lovely leisurely breakfast, took the dogs for a walk, vacuumed all through and will be going to make some lunch soon.

I may or may not pop out this afternoon for a spot of shopping, make an appointment at the hairdressers and check my bank account.

Thank you darling husband for the inheritance you left me.

I don't agree that it doesn't harm anyone else. Your choices aren't made in a vacuum, and the attitude that it's fine to live off someone else's money and be 'kept' because both parties are happy with it is incredibly damaging to the advancement of equality for women. Because let's be honest, it is mainly women doing this. Why would you want that for yourself? Why are women still being socialised to think it's fine not to have a purpose or independence? Men who have the attitude that they should be the provider and keep their wives are just as culpable. You may be happy in your day to day lives but I could never respect anyone for whom it's so ingrained that your societal value is nothing more than being paid by a working partner to do your hobbies all day. (and before anyone jumps on me I've already posted saying situations where health, working visas, caring duties etc are completely different). @Lipstick I'm completely in agreement with you.

"don't you feel a bit guilty that your DH spends all day working while you have a lovely hobby filled day?"

Ha

Do you think these high- flying men who earn millions are nose to the grindstone 365 days a year? Or do you think a lot of deals are done over lunch and "hobbies".

My DH is currently in s week long climbing holiday in Turkey. The other weekend he was on a yacht in Monte Carlo followed by racing cars. So no he doesn't begrudge me the odd Pilates session or run - he actively encourages it! Nobody wants a bored, grumpy wife. We do have 3 school- aged kids, but he wouldn't mind even if we didn't.

miggeldy,that’s quite a frothy unprovoked outburst about me
When we haven’t actually directly engaged on this thread . Not at all in fact
so you resort to namecalling and recalling what you think I said on another thread?why?

How throughly bizarre that you popped up to spontaneously berate me

Now you know that’s bad mn form to recall previous posts,hold it as a gripe and bring it up for no particular reason

Chip?youve got a bag of curly fries goin on

Why are women still being socialised to think it's fine not to have a purpose or independence?

Erm, because we don't all think of ourselves as workers for the state.
Fine if that is what you want in life.
Some find independence from not having to go to work and do the same thing day in and day out, with a small amount of days off per year.
Some have purposes way beyond working to make very rich people even richer. I find purpose in lots of things, my job isn't one of them
Also, because we are all different and want different things out of life.

They’re like some sort of bizarre adult children, being kept by their father-like-husband who provides them with an allowance, pays for their food and toiletries, etc.

I really don’t get it when they buy gifts for their husbands with the husband’s money either, very odd.

I find it creepy.

Why do you ask, OP? I'm a homemaker (as we're usually called) and have no problem with that status. What makes you think that these women haven't worked? I worked for 30 years before my very early retirement. I think you're being judgemental, just by asking.

Husbands money or family money

JelliedFeels - They’re like some sort of bizarre adult children, being kept by their father-like-husband who provides them with an allowance, pays for their food and toiletries, etc.

Sorry, laughing out loud at this. My DH would have cracked up if he were here to read it. It does show many people have no idea how married couples where one doesn't work organise their lives and finances.

Me too Grey
I love being at home .Best job I've had

I don't think of them as unemployed, more non employed. As long as it's what they wanted then I think it's ok, I'd worry about their financial independence though and also what situation they'd find themselves in if their husband died or left them.

I'm not expecting my husband to leave me, ever, and he has a very good pension that will be passed on to me.

I'm sure no expects their husband to leave them!

I don't pick my friends by their job

I think you are in a (perhaps reasonably large) minority. And I think quite a few women pick their friends based on what their husbands do (ie based on income - they don't want to socialise with people with substantially less money than they've got).

I was a stay at home wife for 2 years because my previous job was horribly stressful and we were trying to conceive. I could have been sent away for work for weeks at a time which doesn’t really work when ttc.

Then I had two miscarriages during that time so I was trying to be a sahm but that wasn’t working out for me.

People on the outside probably just thought I was lazy and therefore had no respect for me. But t I couldn’t care because they didn’t have a fucking clue.

I'm not expecting my husband to leave me, ever, and he has a very good pension that will be passed on to me.
said 99% of the women on the Relationship and Divorce boards.

I'm just not sure why women think it's totally acceptable for someone else to literally pay their way? It's a very odd way of thinking and assumes some form of 'exchange' as either labouring or providing a service to their husbands. For those who claim not be wage slaves to the stake, is it really any different or more righteous being employed by and indebted to your DH?

state not stake

@itstimeforanamechange OMG u seriously believe that ???

We never saw it as dh money, there's the difference, you see.
It's all family money here, wherever it comes from.
Mine would never have dreamed about suggesting an allowance or house keeping. I help myself to what we need, when we need it.
So your point doesn't have any bearing on lots of sahp's Windy
I work pt now, that's not my money either.