Instamums in the Telegraph

[caperberries]

Is there a new thread about this?

THANK you tailswin
Still don't know who Random meant though, unless she meant MOD.
See this is why not naming names (judiciously obvs) is SILLY.
It just causes confusion and people incorrectly thinking people have done stuff they haven't.

I'm happy to mention names and have done all the way through and wrote an earlier post saying I thought we should and and be able to discuss specific instances but I thought the general consensus was that we were not?

To be honest, my post inadvertently seems to make it pretty clear how hard it is to have any type of sensible adult discussion without actually referring to names and.....er......facts

It's MOD susie. And you have commented by saying she was hounded of Instagram - the implication being it was partly to do with the threads on mumsnet . My point is, rather than making that bald statement, wouldn't it be better to actually go away and assess matters fully and perhaps come to a conclusion about MOD's personal responsibility in all of this? MOD has not said (well at least publically) why she has left instagram anyway

And my point about stories is that perhaps it is actually not very helpful to post incendiary ranting stories thus fuling the fire

Why the problem with naming names?

If someone can work out who you're talking about if you say something libellous then you can get done for libel - no need to be coy

Agree Isayoldchap. Same with topics likely to provoke a strong response. If it’s yanked your chain, you’re unlikely to be alone.

The odd name is probably fine

But the screen shot section - well I could imagine MNHQ say by we’ve had reports, not in spirit of site and closing it. I’m not sure we’d get a warning no idea though

So as long as we’re not adding to the he said she said fervour then probably ok

But no idea. Maybe Mnhq could clarify

Sorry as you were. LH’s stories showed FOD’s as having been removed. But it’s still showing, so, I dunno.

LH has probably been blocked by FOD

I think MPs posts on the subject, if you scroll back through her feed have had some really good phrases.

I also gave the Lisa Eldridge model on another thread for pulling a comment section into line. She posted about makeup she did for Nicole Kidman "Here's lovely Nicole at some awards thing with make up by me" sort of thing. And immediately the comment section descended into a shit show about NKs face and her Botox blah blah blah. And LE just popped in, said "Can we not? This is not the Daily Mail comment section" and wafted out again, and everyone was all and afterwards it was all sweetness and light. I thought that's how you do it!

I have tried to read all this thread and the last and follow a few of the people mentioned on instagram, and I generally like their feeds, but the only question I had and I can see if it was answered but I was reading MOD's post about the race book and she said that reading it had "changed her pre conceptions about people of colour" . Then a few people asked what these preconceptions were and she just ignored the comments. Then when I looked back her account was deleted.

Did she ever answer what her preconceptions of poc were? Because as a midwife working at a very ethnically diverse inner London hospital I would have thought that would effect her job? I would feel uneasy as a person of colour to have her be midwife if I thought she had preconceptions about me before meeting me?

I think she really has to clarify her thoughts on this when she comes back to instagram?

Oh yes of course Gobbolino I didn’t think of that! Duh.

(Not sarcasm, just in case.)

I missed all the book stuff when it happened (and have been wondering what it was, actually. Would also like to know the Kim K furore but appreciate everyone has moved on)

Presumably what MOD said about the book was a badly worded way of saying something like "the book changed my perspective" or "it taught me to think differently" which presumably is the point of the book? Otherwise, everyone has to say "yeah I knew all that already" so that no one thinks they used to be racist.

I think it's honest to admit that, as a white person, you don't have a full grasp on race and have had your perceptions challenged. Id prefer that to somebody that claims they have very firm and fixed views on race. I worked in inner London with young people and constantly had my perceptions challenged. I'm very glad I did.

@ElspethFlashman - another reason to 💗 Lisa Eldridge. She's real classy!

So I don’t think this is because I’m a jealous hater, but I really don’t like the events which people are invited to by various brands, or give freebies to advertise. I don’t actually want them for myself (really! I have a chronic illness, part time job and child and I couldn’t manage going to events or running an insta business alongside mostly not managing my own life very well). But I don’t like the brand spending lots of money sort of courting women. I don’t mind them spending on traditional advertising, I think because that feels fairly directed to everyone. But when they lay on an event and pamper the influencers (who ten post gushingly, understandably, and presumably influence away which is the brand’s intention), it feels unfair and sort of cliquey - they’ve chosen who is worthy of being ‘treated’ and even though I don’t think I’m actually jealous (as I say, I wouldn’t manage that event or even enjoy it as I am very introverted) something about it feels unequal and as if I and the other influencees have been relegated to second class status.

I don’t know if that makes sense. I am aware of actual jealousy (e.g. I have infertility and would have liked more children so I don’t follow instamums or accounts who show lots of babies/your mug children frequently as it can push my buttons) so I feel fairly sure this discomfort is something else.

Something that’s been getting to me is the accusation that we are all over here (on mumsnet) staying anonymous because of whatever reason.
For me personally I can’t have an online presence for very good reasons but I do still have opinions and to discuss things. Mumsnet allows me anonymity and debate so I’m happy. I’m not keeping my anonymity because I’m embarrassed about my views or ashamed of my conduct online, I simply am not able to have my presence out there.
There are all sorts of reasons someone wants to be just a username and they are not always negative.

Young children, even.

Did she ever answer what her preconceptions of poc were?

I feel like when MOD said that she didn't really think about what she was actually saying. The book she was referring to is everywhere at the moment, including on Instagram. I think she was trying to jump on some sort of woke bandwagon, and used the 'uncomfortable conversation' rhetoric because she thought it fitted with what people are discussing about race at the moment. But she didn't bank on people actually saying 'come on then, what are your preconceptions of people of colour'?

I also saw a few comments about how the holocaust is taught in British schools, which I assumed descended into the anti semitic realm.

Yes, I think that book chat was a massively missed opportunity. If only it had been viewed as a chance to have a really meaningful discussion that might have picked up where the book left off in opening eyes to the issues of racism, institutional or otherwise, instead of it being portrayed as an attack and her being "hounded" off instagram.

Excellent point TheLady. I’m in the same boat. While I never say anything I wouldn’t stand by publicly, in my job I cannot natter on SM. Anonymous doesn’t mean the same as cowardly.

I think if if you arrange one of these instagrammer events, you actually have a duty to host it properly and that means talking to everyone and ensuring that it is inclusive

If you can't or won't do that - both reasons in themselves - then just don't arrange them as thatbis not your forte

I actually read a my least 2 comments today where commenters on IG said they hated MN, etc. and thought posters shouldn't be allowed to be anonymous. Both these had private profiles...

unichi - She blocked and deleted the people asking those questions too! I saw the thread. To me it looked like a rubbish attempt to tell the world she isn't a racist... Somebody pointed out that Gas and Air was whitewashed too. Not a single black mother... Awkward.

Thanks for replying sugarbunker 👍🏻

SOrry - that was a very random last post. It was in another page I had open earlier in the discussion and I didn't realise it hasn't posted then