Instamums in the Telegraph

[caperberries]

Is there a new thread about this?

Oh, I see @SugarBunker ! I suppose I don't see there's any reason to mention the stabbing comments at all. Let comments like that exist on IG (or wherever - I'm sure there are many like it that don't get picked up on so we don't see posted about on these threads).

I don't think that deserve to be discussed - if I see something like that while browsing in future I'd report it and not let it detract from the very valid discussion on here.

I'm not trying to police or steer the threads - I have mentioned specifics many times. I just don't personally like having aggressive, threatening instagrammers shouting down my phone while I'm sitting in my living room on a Thursday evening. I still think I can discuss the wider issues. And if threatening instastories or comments becoming a wider issue we should discuss that too, but not in terms of individual accounts

Oddish can come to the next Pimms event but there's a fee for her appearance.

No, she didn't threaten anyone.

@ElspethFlashman - it's obviously up to individuals how their feeds and comments look. I'm talking more in terms of things that might get them into trouble with IG (where's that bloody bullying filter we've heard so much about?!) or with professional bodies. Or even things that might reflect badly on their kids!

Completely agree with TireSwing

Not least because it means people will get worse

We can do calm chat without revving it up

But it's so subjective. If someone is ranting and swearing at strangers down the phone when their kids are in the background, then their perception of what affects their kids are pretty different!

So their self moderation will reflect that.

@TireSwing fair enough, I don't fully agree but I understand where you're coming from. btw, v good point about that bloody bullying feature.

@MarshaBradyo The revving up about Wee Slice's event was because someone did calm chat about it here. 'We' can't win.

You can play Influencer Girl Gang Bingo in the comments under that post.

Jealousy tick
You do you tick
Bitches tick
Stab tick untick
I’d sell my kids for free stuff too tick
Haters gunna hate tick
Bully’s tick
Mothers should know better tick
Women supporting women tick

I’m back. Sorry, I’ve been at work. Let’s get back to ethics then. From what I could tell LH and others were questioning the need/ethics behind the Madagascar trip. It was said that the children were treated like it was a human petting zoo and they were being exploited for a soap company’s adverts. There was no evidence that this company was raising money for the charity just a cleverly worded 'pledge' to give money in the future. LH posted stories about how the cost of just one of MOD/FODs free return flights would’ve paid for 100 people to access clean water. It was really informative. She didn’t go on this trip. I think LH does actual charity work herself and her family are African so I can see why she’d be upset. I don’t believe there’s a bubbling feud though. Just MOD going out of her way to bend/shut down the truth again.

Also it works both ways. We can report an offensive comment on IG and not comment on it here. Likewise though TWWC could have reported Oddish's comment about her to MN without posting about it.

Sugar I know it was really calm. But it’s too much when the thread goes like that and it’ll probably get taken off if it continues.

I know it feels imbalanced but I’d rather keep the ethics chat than lose all of it

@Threeizthemagicnumber thank you v much for answering I wasn't quite sure whether SoaperDuper got ads out of it and didn't realise they'd made a pledge rather than a committed donation. That does sound iffy and I'm 100% the same questions would have been raised if about a TV ad with TV stars.

Yeah I made a stupid comment about girl gang’s pimms in the park meeting thing. Definitely no threats, not even behind all this anonymity. Maybe I will be at the next one anyway, how would she even know I mean, there are many many mn users, it stands to reason that they are upsetting some of their own followers with all this, but nobody dare speak out and who can blame them??

You'd hope, @ElspethFlashman that there'd be less hawking potential on an account like that though. If I was Warburtons I'd steer clear of asking someone to #ad "fucking crumpets"

Ultimately, there's a wide scope of what goes in terms of instagram allowing an account but a much smaller window in terms of what brands want. As we've discussed, it's not exactly the most diverse platform in that sense.

Also it works both ways. We can report an offensive comment on IG and not comment on it here. Likewise though TWWC could have reported Oddish's comment about her to MN without posting about it.

Good point, @SugarBunker The difference is that we don't need to whip up a frenzy and increasing engagement. Someone on IG has a reason to do that - they have no interest in things being resolved quietly behind the scenes if the alternative is lots of likes and comments. Whether it's wise for them to stoke the fire remains to be seen

I’m also with you Tire swing. Keeping names out of it doesn’t lessen the discussion points, just avoids these threads being used as traction for more traffic.

It feels unfair that a largely well thought out discussion can be dismissed as bullying, but there’s no point rising to the bait.

If I was an instamum I wouldn’t be touching subjects on these threads on my insta with a barge pole to be honest. I’d be keeping my feed above it all...because surely brands would think twice about working with someone who was liking a post about stabbing. If I wanted to engage I’d probably be doing it here. Maybe more of them should join in on these threads like MoD and the other lady does (sorry I can't remember her name!)

Sometimes these threads go mental!

Woah! Just seen TMWC stories and how this has all kicked off again, and now girlstolelondon and everyone is getting involved.

Woah!

Let them go crazy don’t worry about it, it’ll be ok

I’m trying to think of a diversion umm

Hey,
It’s susie (@susiejverrill) and I really hope you don’t mind me joining the chat because I’m genuinely here just to (personally, can’t speak for anyone else) smooth the waters. There’s no intention behind this other than I don’t particularly like feeling as though I’m at war with anyone, and I appreciate with reflection my ‘cut’ remark was silly. They were made on hoof, in jest and probably with a bit of Adrenalin - no excuse, just, that’s the case.
Finally, I was at the WS event too and thought it was actually quite lovely (abeit fuelled by gin which I can’t drink or I get naked/shout at Greg for no reason) and feel a bit crap others might have made the effort to come along but been left out/ignored. From my point of view (again, can’t speak for anyone else) sometimes it can be a bit daunting walking in to a room and striking up conversation, and that goes for all of us. I know I tried to chat to as many as possible (while hovering near the food a bit too much in all honesty) and I’d like to say from what I saw, WS did too. I don’t know, sometimes these social events can be a bit nervy-tummy inducing once you’re there and you’re not quite the Chatty Cathy you are on SM. I know I sometimes need to do less over thinking about it all.
ANYWAY. Again, I hope you don’t mind me coming on here. I don’t always think I’ve done that well in addressing some of the issues on here when my name’s cropped up (I can definitely be reactive), but I really, really don’t like thinking I’ve behaved in a shoddy way. Absolutely feel free to continue to dislike me for other reasons of course, I’m not here to beg you to like me! And none of you need reply, I’m also not here so you pat me on the back. Really just wanted to try to claw the divide shut a bit x

Woooo! Diversion! Woooooo!

Agree no need to whip up a frenzy and increasing engagement.
We're a chat board though. A poster mentioned WS's event in a measured way. WS didn't like it. Her friend got involved and swore and shouted at that poster. Oddish didn't like how that IGer spoke and came across and said so. At what point should we as a big collective unit disengaged? I'm not sure of the answer!

I do fine it tiresome that it's almost becoming a badge of honour amongst some smaller instamummy fish to have had MN negatively discuss them though. But positive flip side in my view is the reactions of instamums to criticism acts as good way of sorting wheat from the chaff.

I do think it's interesting that TMWC and whoever else saying 'fuck you, you fucking prick' and talk of stabbing, cutting etc which would totally get deleted on MN is apparently perfectly fine on Instagram.

But it's MN who are the nest of vipers and Insta is the place to 'be kind'.

Thanks for posting Susie good way to go, agree the divide is too much

I know the language is nuts but, you know, maybe it’s regretted

Tire you don’t have any trousers on do you know that?!