Instamums in the Telegraph

[caperberries]

Is there a new thread about this?

JellyBaby if you think there should be a new thread with ethics in the title you are free to start one. Bit much to come and say that someone else should do that.
Not possible to discuss unethical business practices without naming individuals. Caroline Hirons made her west london crewe comment as what, her business self, or her personal self? As they're one and the same on insta it's quite hard to tell. Innit. (East London posse here).

@SugarBunker - I see your point but I would argue that mentioning specifics, even if not by name, isn't helpful. It doesn't help to move the discussion forward and we just end up in these stupid "she said, (s)he said" flurries of drama - it's ridiculous.

We are grown women! We can talk about our concerns, share articles and discuss points from a more theoretical angle rather than "xxxx posted this..."

I’ve lurked for ages and then joined today - I’m learning my way around here and how the site works. I didn’t mean to cause offence, way to welcome a new member!

@JellyBaby666 - welcome!

There have been a few threads all with the "ethics" style title. This one was set up with the more specific reference to an article and as it was around the time the last thread filled up the conversation naturally continued on here. Agree the next thread should go back to the more general format

Ethics regarding Instamums and huns http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/amiibeingunreasonable/3258417-ethics-regarding-instamums-and-huns

mentioning specifics, even if not by name, isn't helpful. It doesn't help to move the discussion forward and we just end up in these stupid "she said, (s)he said" flurries of drama - it's ridiculous.

Absolutely agree with this, it all goes completely playground on here when the thread slides onto that.

@TireSwing do you mean that no one should mention the stabbing comment?

Can't speak for anyone else but i was interested in the theoretical issues of an instagram celebrity charity trip and wanted to discuss that, using that person as an example. I haven't seen much discussion about that on the threads, just here, but haven't read them all so may have that wrong.

I'm with you on the generalised aspect. But I also think discussion about how IGers deal with vile and abusive comments on their feed is part of the overall ethical discussion.

Totally agree @ISayOldChap - any thoughts on @CadyHeron 's and my post about this further up? Is a bod moderating 24/7 the answer?

@JellyBaby666 sorry for snapping at you, obviously I had no idea you were suggesting someone else should start a thread because you were new, as it was obvious you were aware of previous threads and I thought I recognised your name in fact. There have been a few Jelly Beans over the years on here. I was feeling frustrated with posters repeatedly saying shouldn't be doing this, shouldn't be doing that but still engaging with the conversation themselves. I shouldn't have made a snippy comment to you though.

@SugarBunker - what's the point? We mentioned it (I reported it I was so disgusted by it) but what else is there to say about it, specifically?

I am appalled by the language that is used when you can hear small children are close by. I can’t get past the amount of swearing!

I also think that's a good example of why digital footprints need to be managed carefully. Imagine applying for a job and the recruiter digs up a comment you made in the past about stabbing someone? The guardian article touched on this and facial recognition tech, which I thought was really interesting.

There are no guidelines as far as I know about an account holder's personal responsibility re: the comments under their "squares" (eye twitch).

So there is no onus to moderate them. And in that void of responsibility, when someone echoes your own bitterness, why would you delete it?

@ISayOldChap - was it the guardian article that used the phrase "digital tattoo" as opposed to "digital footprint"? I know MN is anonymous but I would never write anything here I wouldn't be happy to have my name put to (no MIL posts from me! I love my MIL ) and I would feel completely out of my depth if I was posting daily on a huge public platform, not to mention having other people commenting under posts with my name at the top. I think I'd feel like I'd lost control very quickly

Some element of moderating has to be essential I think. Leaving stuff like that on your feed suggests you condone it. Big accounts "just me and my phone" can't possibly do this on their own. Even opening up sensible discussions must be hard - you can probably handle the first 100 or so comments but after that, nope. I don't see it's possible.

@TireSwing I didn't mean this conversation, I was talking about in your suggestion that convo be general about businesses and not naming individuals. So speaking theoretically, you wouldn't want the stabbing comment to be mentioned at all? or mentioned without naming who said it? Because I think the latter isn't possible, people are going to ask. I'm asking genuinely, not having a go!

I guess you just have to try hard to eastablish a tone by not inciting aggressive posts

I've seen "trying to live your best life" used by a few instamums, but never IRL. Is this a new saying?

I would be the same @TireSwing. Digital tattoo is a much better way of conveying the permanence of what you say and post online

Because if you are aggressive it’s pretty much guaranteed someone will be there to defend you in an even more aggressive way

@lastnightidreamtofpotatoes I've heard it once IRL. From a life coach.

Or more to the point, with particular reference to this latest debacle, why wouldn't you delete any comments that disagreed with your ranting? It does make it look like the only comments you have received have been 100% snarlingly supportive, and where is the Code of Conduct to say you must have an accurate representation of comments received? Precisely nowhere.

So my point is people are saying comments should be moderated. But TMWC is moderating them, isn't she? She's just doing it in her favour!

BTW Oddish did you threaten someone and I missed it?

One of the commentators is saying "Oddish you can come to my next Pimms event and threaten me to my face" Whut????