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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is Fortnite ruining anyone else's family?

296 replies

fortnitenightmare · 22/05/2018 19:41

And devices in general?

We have 1 Xbox, 4 kids.

The older 2 bicker and argue about it constantly. They're like ogres when they can't go on it and ogres when they've been in it. And how very dare I interrupt a game with 'time's up!' Or 'dinner'. They're limited to 45 mins each, they have to take turns. They're addicted to it. Just one more...

It's ruining our family.

We:
Limit time spent on it
They have to earn time on it
Make them share
Warn them before stopping games

I have unpleasant children and it's really getting me down. They live for it. They're not allowed any other form of social media, and I get they they want to play/interact with their peers so I'd rather not ban it completely BUT we're running out of ideas of how to stop it ruining our family. I also hate the fact people can 'listen in' to our family life.

Have you got similar problems? How do you manage this addiction?

Sad 😞

OP posts:
Lethaldrizzle · 23/05/2018 22:20

Soon they'll be tellin us grand theft auto is a great teaching aid

ICantCopeAnymore · 23/05/2018 22:31

Yes, I often get my Yr 6s to weigh out fake coke, work out how fast their car would need to go to outright kill a prostitute in one hit and calculate the speed of a bullet shot over a certain distance. They love it, it really livens up Friday afternoon maths.

JeffVaderneedsatray · 23/05/2018 22:37

I teach 7 and 8 year olds.
One child told me about playing Fortnite. I pointed out he was too young.
He asked why..... his exact words were...
"Why? It's only a killing game, there's no sex or nothing."

My son is 13. He has an ASC and I was worried he'd want to play it. I asked him if he knew anything about it and he told me he thought it was highly overrated.

Walkingdeadfangirl · 24/05/2018 00:01

It's not the same as a game of football obsession - playing football outside is much healthier and less likely to cause unpleasant rows and unpleasant behaviour
Seriously? Football is a homophobic, misogynistic, racist, bullying 'sport'. Child abuse scandals? Awful role models? Tax evasion?Cheating is endemic to winning a game! The mood swings after losing a game are schizophrenic! If you dont support the 'right' gang team you are vilified! The deliberate legal physical attacks fouls they get away with! Hooliganism! ...

I would rather my DC was at home playing on a 'computer', where I can supervise them becoming future literate and tech savvy rather than out in the snow and rain being abused.

ICantCopeAnymore · 24/05/2018 07:19

Football is vile. I hate everything it stands for.

My DS has his head screwed on and hates it.

A4710Rider · 24/05/2018 11:35

Seriously? Football is a homophobic, misogynistic, racist, bullying 'sport'. Child abuse scandals? Awful role models? Tax evasion?Cheating is endemic to winning a game! The mood swings after losing a game are schizophrenic! If you dont support the 'right' gang team you are vilified! The deliberate legal physical attacks fouls they get away with! Hooliganism

Jesus christ, your poor kids.

Where are they going to learn life skills from? Their PC?

ilovemykids42 · 18/08/2018 20:44

my child says its a way of life surprisingly thats what he told me when he came out as a furry.

leccybill · 15/09/2018 09:42

Searched this thread as I've been shocked in school lately, at the extent of Fortnite addiction.
My current topic with my (all boys Yr8) class is leisure - we've been giving opinions about TV, films, books. Every one of them said they don't watch TV at all, couldn't think of a film, wouldn't ever consider reading, and about half of them said they don't really ever go downstairs. Just eat dinner in their room while playing.
They seem spaced out in class and unable to voice opinions about anything really.
Fortnite's been around since about January hasn't it? Have any of you seen it fading away? I'm worried about the level of addiction I'm seeing.

BarbarianMum · 15/09/2018 09:49

No. They play for a couple of hours at weekends and maybe once in the week . Any squabbling and it goes off. Any "just one more go" and it goes off and stays off the next day. They know how much I dislike gaming, how concerned I am about addiction and how - if they give me any cause to worry that it's damaging them - the whole lot goes in the bin.

This approach may not work in a few years but it's working now. And they do lots of hobbies/activities so its not screens or nothing.

Uniquefashion · 15/09/2018 10:18

Just take the console off them then. If they are addicted you need to help them break it. You would help them with a drug addiction wouldn't you? Same thing. They aren't living in the real world, only an online one. They aren't focused, they panic if they can't play, they get angry if you take away the addiction. All same symptoms as drugs. Yeah drugs damage your body, so does gaming as they sit still and never move, leading to obesity slowly. Ban them every time until they learn some control.

SoundOfWaves · 15/09/2018 10:22

To be honest it's only causing so much agro cos you lot are so controlling. If they want to spend their spare time playing computer games just let them. Where's the harm?

JustDanceAddict · 15/09/2018 10:29

The harm is that it’s totally addictive and they don’t get off their backsides for anything, don’t want to meet up IRL as it eats into gaming time etc. no-one wants to be first to leave the game.

SoundOfWaves · 15/09/2018 10:33

The harm is that it’s totally addictive and they don’t get off their backsides for anything, don’t want to meet up IRL as it eats into gaming time etc.

Meh, up to them isn't it?

Marie0 · 15/09/2018 10:37

I think gaming is great - my wants to be a youtuber when he's older and I will support that 100% - it's great that he is so passionate about something and can potentially earn a lot of money.

I think you should let them got on with it

ProfessorMoody · 15/09/2018 10:46

Yes, it's fading away as predicted.

DS hasn't played it since June, his friends have all started uninstalling it. They've gone back to Minecraft, Roblox, Rocket League and Forza for now.

If children are still obsessed with Fortnite, it is still a parenting issue. As a gamer, I enjoy the fact that my son is into games too. He's still being social, he's doing something he enjoys, he does it as a balance with school and his other hobbies and children need leisure and down time too.

Such a fuss over nothing.

grasspigeons · 15/09/2018 10:49

Can you try x box free days and then being less restricted on the x box days. With 4 children you might give each an 'unrestricted day' (with a dinner break) and have 1 day x box free for everyone. Then at the weekends allow one gane each, each day. Or two kids one day, 2 the other. Write a time table, be strict and help the other 3 find something to do instead until it's all established.

EvaHarknessRose · 15/09/2018 10:52

I think I would stop using it as a bargaining tool (not saying you are, but some people do) - your limits are your limits, and ‘rewarding them’ with something you believe is detrimental is weird. And don’t ban it ‘for bad behaviour on it’ just say you will observe their behaviour without commenting for a few days and review its presence in your home regularly.

MidniteScribbler · 15/09/2018 10:57

It's ruining my classroom. It's all the boys talk about, and we'll be in the middle of a maths lesson, and they turn and start talking shit about the damn game.

SoundOfWaves · 15/09/2018 10:58

@MidniteScribbler - maybe your maths lesson is boring?

MaiaRindell · 15/09/2018 10:58

My DD is obsessed with it. Limiting the time didn't work so well so my rules are that it can only be played once

  • her bedroom is tidy
  • she has done her homework and had dinner
  • she has read, written or drawn for 20 minutes
  • she has played outside for 20 minutes
  • her school bag etc is packed for the following day
Dancergirl · 15/09/2018 10:59

Just get rid of it. Permanently. They'll survive. In the short term they won't like it at all but take a long term view. In the future they'll probably be pleased you stepped in.

crosstalk · 15/09/2018 11:00

ProF I'm a gamer, too, though i have to limit myself or it could easily take over my life. There's something about the "cooperation" side of battle/target games that is addictive to people like me - being on the winning team, taking out another team, coordinating attacks across the world, etc. But if you do limit your time on it, you end up more inclined to buy in things that enhance your gaming just to keep up. The one time I've seen appalling behaviour was actually a perfectly naice 10yo who went into melt-down over not being able to Minecraft during a family supper at a weekend because all his friends would be on it.

MidniteScribbler · 15/09/2018 11:01

@SoundofWaves or maybe your little darling is a disrespectful little snot who doesn't know when to shut the fuck up.

SoundOfWaves · 15/09/2018 11:02

@MidniteScribbler - somebody's triggered

Aragog · 15/09/2018 11:02

Being the oddball amongst their peers' is what I aspire to for my kids

Far more importantly, is it what THEY aspire to or want?

It's really easy for adults to want Derris things for their children. They have a different outlook and different life experiences, and key - they don't have to be the ones living that life.

Surely you would be allowing your children have their own aspirations.

So what if for now they want to be just like their mates. It's their life. They get to choose.

There are very few true individuals. Even many of those who think they are a bit alternative or whatever, really aren't. Look at their friends, and you usually find their friends are just the same too.

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