Is Fortnite ruining anyone else's family?

[fortnitenightmare]

And devices in general?

We have 1 Xbox, 4 kids.

The older 2 bicker and argue about it constantly. They're like ogres when they can't go on it and ogres when they've been in it. And how very dare I interrupt a game with 'time's up!' Or 'dinner'. They're limited to 45 mins each, they have to take turns. They're addicted to it. Just one more...

It's ruining our family.

We:
Limit time spent on it
They have to earn time on it
Make them share
Warn them before stopping games

I have unpleasant children and it's really getting me down. They live for it. They're not allowed any other form of social media, and I get they they want to play/interact with their peers so I'd rather not ban it completely BUT we're running out of ideas of how to stop it ruining our family. I also hate the fact people can 'listen in' to our family life.

Have you got similar problems? How do you manage this addiction?

Sad 😞

And don't talk to me about V bucks angry I got emotionally blackmailed into letting him have 7.99's worth after the SATs but it makes me uncomfortable that we are essentially turning our real, hard earned money into fake money so our children can buy clothes and dances for fictional characters!!!!

You allowed your child to emotionally blackmail you, and speak of it so casually? That's so sad.

On Saturday am at 6 dd went to a maths competition in the nearest city, went round museums, the city, came home exhausted, went to bed, next day homework and shower and hairwash and getting ready generally for next day at school. Fornite. To relax, surely, she needs downtime?

Well, it was what I thought... Am I damaging her by letting her do this? DD is 10, as I said bilingual, so speaking one language to me and one at school. I think she should relax a bit myself, if it makes her happy.

Dan - it's about balance! You seem to have achieved it - She's not on it all day every day at the expense of all all is else is she? Sounds like you're both doing ok me.

Thank you Rye

We don't see our DSS anymore because he is obsessed with it and his mum doesn't see the harm! Every night after school he goes straight on it and stays there until either he's made to get off it at 10pm which involves tears, and ranty phone calls to DP about how unfair his life is and how no one understands.

Every weekend (even in this lovely weather) he is glued to the Xbox from early morning til late at night.

He refuses to see his dad because there is no xbox at ours so we haven't seen him for over 2 weeks now. Doesn't look like its showing any signs of being just a phase yet either.

DSS's mum won't do anything to insist he sees his dad and other than DP marching round there and dragging him from there, there's not much else can be done and certainly nothing i can do unfortunately.

Can I ask, those in the know, the difference between the free, ipad version (with no headphones or interaction with others) and the xbox etc stuff. (Whish we don't have)

DD has assured me it's different and not as violent but is she lying? Possible

The iPad version is pretty much the same as the console version.

Oh God, thank you ICantCope I think I should do more research, although TBH, I haven't seen a change in her. She did tell me it was the 'lite' version and was sensible though (which she really is) but I don't want this going down the pan through ignorance on my part!

It'll be fine, as long as the chat settings are disabled and she's limited to balance it with other things

It's a thread about Fortnite, @fooffighter - of course I'll be discussing Fortnite on it. With or without your permission.

no need for you to have brought them here either as Icantcope had not even mentioned being a teacher etc at that point)

You're completely wrong - she did exactly that in this point about the sad children at her school - which is the point I first responded to:

I'm a teacher and this is just another phase. We see it year after year. I do see the children who aren't allowed to play Fortnite being left out of conversations and games. Some of them watch Fortnite videos on YouTube just to be know enough to join in, as they aren't able to play at home. It's quite sad and I do feel for them.

O.k. got it Ican'tcope thankyou so much, I'll double check the chat settings are off. Thanks again.

Dear Lord, it's only going to get worse!

So my son won't be going on his Xbox at all tonight. Got a phone call from school, he's been chewing gum in class. 10 pages of lines for tomorrow, on top of homework! That'll teach him I love him but he's an idiot.

No problem, Dan - as long as your parental controls are good, she won't be able to speak to anyone and that's the main concern for children. She'll be fine - you sound like a decent parent!

I'm just watching DS play. He has an hour tonight on the Xbox and listening to him collaborating with his school friends is lovely. There's no aggression, nasty language or trash talk from any of them. They're just boys having fun on a computer game. Like children have been doing for many years.

I'm so glad social media wasn't around when I was a child. We were just as obsessed with games (and they were more violent then but no one had a problem!!) but the only difference was, we had to go to each other's houses to play together!

WalkingOnAFlashlightBeam I think it's sad that you felt the need to say that to be honest. I thought the idea was to support each other, or at least offer advice through constructive criticism.

I'm just doing my imperfect best, as are we all...

I'm amazed at how judgemental some people are without knowing a thing about we parent.

We're actually very firm parents. We're experienced and fair. But we're definitely parenting parents. I'm also a teacher. Our children are talented in sports and are outdoorsy and live very varied lives. Though I'm not sure why have to justify myself when
I only came on asking if anyone felt the same and if anyone had found the 'happy medium' (of letting their kids play this game and not 'change' as a result of it).

I was actually looking for tips on how to manage balance of letting your child do something THEY enjoy without it causing the rest of the family grief. Our children know how to share, they will not be getting an x box each (there's really no need) l, they are good kids who are great company.

I was looking for tried and tested techniques to manage this new fad (bottle flipping, dabbing and fidget spinners have nothing on this) - not to be judged on my parenting by people who have no idea how I parent.

Thanks to those of you who empathised and shared your experiences. Hold on tight- this'll be a bumpy fad!!

If it offers any reassurance .
. Over the last fortnight i have noticed my dcs have all significantly decreased or stopped playing fortnite! (Entirely their own choice)

We had a very successful rule of no gaming on weekdays. Now with DC over 18 who are allowed, the younger DC have started to try and flout that rule. It also meant that they spent hours and hours at the weekend which we were told was worse than an hour or so every day. We sometimes remove the controllers or give them a 15 minute warning the WiFi will be turned off so that they can finish up a game as they won’t want disappear off the battlefield and let down the mates they’re playing with.
However it is still tricky, they have it in their phones now. They watch it on YouTube, they watch their older siblings playing it.
I’m with you OP a strict parent of bright, sporty children who’s home has been infected by this game like nothing else, ever!

I feel your pain! My four kids also become quite aggressive when exposed.

Last summer our tv was broken (wii remote incident) and I refused to replace it until we had saved enough in a family jar. It took 6 months. In that time we still had tablets so not completely denied access, but it did cut down screen time immensely. it was a great learning curve. Even my eldest (who has Asd) started interacting with us a bit more, instead of hiding behind games.

I have now completely banned games like that from the house and we only have Just Dance. Absolutely nothing else. I have also warned the kids that Netflix is cancelled over Summer but we will resubscribe between November-April when the weather is a bit bad. I get growled at but I can cope with that. It's tame compared to the aggressive/addictive behaviour and I actually like interacting with my kids.

I do think it's the only way to go, but you need determination.

Good luck!

Coincidentally, there are two discussions on two different Y5/6 Facebook teaching pages tonight about using it as a theme in lessons. Consensus is absolutely not - from every single teacher.

The Parents' Guide Rob Smith (Literacy Shed) links to has this to say about the rating:

Rating

In the UK the Video Standards council rate Fortnite as PEGI 12 for frequent scenes of mild violence. It is not suitable for persons under 12 years of age.

The VSC expand on the PEGI rating by stating that “Violence consists of you using whatever weapons you can find or make to fend off the monsters of the Storm and save the survivors. Damage is dealt by numbers and life bars and monsters disappear in a purple flash when defeated.”

It doesn't mention the chat facility is the rating explanation at all.

OP, to be fair your original post did say you have unpleasant kids, who are ruining your family. I suspect that's why you got a lot of strong comments about parenting.

Did I? Well I didn't intend it to read like that. My kids are fab- but this game changes their attitudes and behaviours.

So glad ICantCopeAnymore doesn't teach my kid

I would not be happy if one of my kids teachers used fortnite or anything like that as a theme in lessons. I do not want my kids exposed to such addictive stuff

I'm really glad I don't too. "Those" parents are incredibly annoying. Thankfully I haven't had any for years as most of them can't wait for their children to be in my class