Is Fortnite ruining anyone else's family?

[fortnitenightmare]

And devices in general?

We have 1 Xbox, 4 kids.

The older 2 bicker and argue about it constantly. They're like ogres when they can't go on it and ogres when they've been in it. And how very dare I interrupt a game with 'time's up!' Or 'dinner'. They're limited to 45 mins each, they have to take turns. They're addicted to it. Just one more...

It's ruining our family.

We:
Limit time spent on it
They have to earn time on it
Make them share
Warn them before stopping games

I have unpleasant children and it's really getting me down. They live for it. They're not allowed any other form of social media, and I get they they want to play/interact with their peers so I'd rather not ban it completely BUT we're running out of ideas of how to stop it ruining our family. I also hate the fact people can 'listen in' to our family life.

Have you got similar problems? How do you manage this addiction?

Sad 😞

Take it away for a week. Don’t cave. We do this occasionally for the older DC for behaviour issues and it REALLY works. DS almost seems relieved TBH. They behave better without playing the video games and we are still on the under 12 type non violent ones

These games are designed to be addictive, so that the manufacturers get loadsamoney.

It's not surprising that dcs get addicted to them.

Parents need to protect their dcs by stepping in and telling the dcs to stay away. It's your money they're taking and your dcs who are suffering.

Even though they 'think' they're enjoying themselves-it's like any addiction.

At their mums my SC ages 10 and 12 have a PlayStation each. They have an iPad each, an iPhone each, their own t.v. .... you get what I mean. They do not know how to share or take turns in my house with their siblings.

With regards to this particular game it's the shouting like there's no one else in the house that drives me nuts. The fact they ignore you all the time. I'll be glad when this phase has passed.

I also find it completely out of order and unacceptable that it requires you to spend money on it. For children that is wrong and i think some intervention is needed. Like many PPs have said It is enabling an addiction and encouraging gambling at a very young age which is totally out of order.

My dss is totally addicted. Bunked of school to play on it!! That resulted in. 6 week ban then there was something and he got a 2 week ban.

But unfortunately as soon as he gets it back he's drawn back into it. I hate the role model it's setting for my D's (8) who will happily sit and watch DSS play- I've put a stop to it.

I think it's an introduction to online gambling. They spend money on it and they almost want just a bit longer...

DSS is 14.

My DS (16) plays it's ALL the time . It seems to be extremely addictive. All I hear is him shouting at his mates through his headset.

Same as Postcards - take it away for a week at a time. Introduce regular, non-gaming weeks. It works. Just don't do it in anger, when they're driving you nuts, do it in a calm and positive way. They'll do other things more happily if they know it's a set period and not negotiable IME.

It's easy for some posters to say 'ban it completely' as if that would be simple. Technically yes, it would be. But all (literally all...every boy in ds1's class, 12 of them) of ds's friends play Fortnite. Ds2's friends are rapidly getting into it too.

I don't want to make them the oddball amongst their peers tbph. Banning them completely from it would be the modern equivalent of not knowing who the Spice Girls and Westlife were when I was 11...social suicide.

Just don’t allow it.

My DS (10) asked for it, I looked into it and decided it wasn’t appropriate.

The world hasn’t ended, he hasn’t been ostracised at school, everything is fine.

He plays other games, loads of sport, reads books, plays boardgames with the family.

If it is substantially changing your children’s behaviour for the worse remove it.

I don't want to make them the oddball amongst their peers tbph. Banning them completely from it would be the modern equivalent of not knowing who the Spice Girls and Westlife were when I was 11...social suicide.

I’m sorry - that’s just nonsense.

My DS is one of the few boys in his class not to have it. It’s made not one iota of difference to his popularity.

You do not get penalised for leaving a game, 45 mins is enough for probably three matches or two if you place in top five teams. If they are going in to a solo match it is more like two matches as people play more passively.

You do not have to spend money on it at all, the only items you can buy are cosmetic and that does not enhance game play at all. You can also buy a pass that unlocks other challenges but you can play the game 100% free and spend zero pounds.

No one should ever put their credit card on to Xbox just buy Microsoft points and put the code in for credit. Then the x box expenditure can be totally controlled.

If you honestly think it's ruining your family life, why not just take it off them?

Having computer games is not some kind of necessity.

I honestly can't believe some of these comments. People admitting it's like gambling but still allowing their kids to play. You're setting them up for a lifetime of struggles.

Not knowing a game does not tend to affect children's popularity (I say that as a teacher). The kids who are popular are nearly always the ones who are confident, and they tend to get that confidence from having confident parents - I see a direct correlation between the parents who are not afraid to come and talk to me and the kids who are also confident.

You are doing them a favour by taking things which are actively harming them away from them.

I hate it too. And it’s like Pandora’s box - I had no idea what it was like when I let them have it last year, and now it’s here, it’s hard to take it away again. And when I say “take it away”, I don’t mean just removing the Xbox, I mean removing it from their minds.
A friend got sick of her DS’s attitude so she banned him for a month, to break the addiction. Sure he did other stuff, but he counted down the days till the month ended, and now he’s got it back he’s just as obsessed as ever.
My kids love football so they do other things, but fortnite is still something that causes daily fights.
I hate it.

minty I don’t really get what’s hard about it. Who’s in control here, you or the kids?

Typical Mumsnet again.

You don't need to spend a penny on it.
You don't get penalised for leaving a game.
Expecting four children to share one Xbox is ridiculous.

Fortnite is a great game. The only people who seem to hate it are those who can't seem to parent properly, those who don't understand gaming at all, or those who just want to join in with hate.

It's a game. It's fun to play and all children have phases of being keen on something. It was Minecraft for my DS before this. If you're letting them play constantly, that's a parenting issue. If you're letting them spend money on it, that's a parenting issue. If they are becoming unmanageable because of a game what a ridiculous suggestion that's a parenting issue. If they are unsafe online because they are talking to strangers, that's a parenting issue!

Jesus Christ, it's not rocket science.

Only when mine get booted off for being pains and have to watch me play

I do that Mama - it's hilarious. He also tries to advise me. I've been gaming for thirty years, I know what I'm doing

My dgs’s aged 9 and 11 have an Xbox but seem to mainly play football and motor racing games. I remember a temporary Minecraft obsession but that is long gone. The younger one isn’t really interested and the older one accepts time limits.
I also have a 14 year old dgs (different parents) who is totally immersed in gaming for as many hours as his parents will tolerate.

My DS is one of the few boys in his class not to have it. It’s made not one iota of difference to his popularity

I think you're kidding yourself if you think he doesn't feel/get left out. 10 year olds don't typically want to be a trailblazer for 'a better way' - they want to fit in with their friends and join in conversations on popular topics. And fortnite is the main topic of conversation amongst ten year old boys ATM IME.

Also playing Fortnite and playing sports, board games and reading are not mutually exclusive you know.

sensory as I said above, I've rarely noticed that kids who are 'out of the loop' are less popular. As long as they are confident, they tend to do ok.

As such, I focus on teaching my kids to be confident, not to necessarily follow the crowd. I don't deny my kids popular stuff for the sake of it, but if it was affecting their behaviour, then I'm not going to let them have it just so that some gobby idiot at school thinks they're 'cool'.

As I recall, I was also one of the most popular kids in primary school and I was clueless about basically everything because my parents were a bit older than the average. It really didn't have that big an impact.

My son is also obsessed with Fortnite. It drives me nuts. In the last fortnight (honestly!) I've created a timetable for evenings. Previously he wasn't going homework, chores, going out, talking to us much. He was living for Fortnite. Things came to a head so I made this timetable. I also make him walk the half hour walk home (he's 13 - it's exercise, fresh air, independence, time away from Xbox). When he gets in, he's allowed half an hour to chill out then it's homework, chores (15 mins - put recycling out, tidy bedroom, peck bag etc), then it's tea. After tea, if everything has been done it's 2 hours of Xbox. I give him 15 mins warning then I go in and ignore his moaning and switch it off at the wall. He proceeds to tell me he hates me. If he is rude or defiant I take 5 mins each time off the next night's Xbox. Last night, he switched the Xbox off himself when I went in his room. Result. I felt like I was losing my son and now I feel like I'm being him back. It might sound OTT, but I was losing my mind and he was becoming a zombie. So far it seems to be working for us.

'Being the oddball amongst their peers' is what I aspire to for my kids! Jeez they need to learn their own way in life not follow the crowd with their mind numbing idiotic gaming obsessions

My child is "different" to the norm. He knows what he likes, he stands up for his opinions and he isn't afraid to stand out from the crowd. He still enjoys playing Fortnite for an hour a day. A child can have a personality and play a game at the same time.

I'm a teacher and this is just another phase. We see it year after year. I do see the children who aren't allowed to play Fortnite being left out of conversations and games. Some of them watch Fortnite videos on YouTube just to be know enough to join in, as they aren't able to play at home. It's quite sad and I do feel for them. If parents actually took the time to look into it properly, they'd realise that it's really not a bad game.

Saying all that, I believe it needs to be managed and balanced with other activities, as does everything really. I remember a few years ago people were moaning about their children always wanting to be on Minecraft, or YouTube, or tablets in general.

Parent them.

LethalDrizzle - games are not mind-numbing or idiotic. Quite the opposite, actually. Just because you don't like or understand them, doesn't mean that they are bad.