Neighbour Problem...

[ComfortablyGlum]

Bit sensitive this so come on here for advice.

Someone moved into next door recently - they were a parent of someone else in the street (small quiet cul de sac). All fine until the good weather started.

This lady appears to be a carer for a special needs person. Since the start of the good weather the special needs person spends the day swearing at the top of her voice in the garden. She is sometimes placated by her carer but she’s soon back to it.

My younger children are getting really upset by it now - I’ve tried to explain the lady isn’t well and it’s not her fault etc but even I’m becoming very weary of it. It’s the ‘very bad swear words’ too. I’m not a prude and can be sweary quite often but having these screamed out daily it’s awful.

I have NO intention of storming round to complain - I realise it’s a tricky situation but wondered if there was a ‘nice’ way to see if the carer could do anything to improve the situation?

Would I be unreasonable to approach her at all or is this something I’m just going to have to put up with from now on? Should I maybe approach the daughter of the carer who lives in the same street instead - I do know her a little and feel I could broach the subject quite easily.

Ok olivia, i’ll Answer your original question:

“You think it is easy to ignore someone who is outside for hours shouting and swearing?”

No, not initially. With time it would get easier. I’ve grown to tune out the barking dogs and the sirens that pass my house constantly. I’m a NT adult with the ability to decide what I let annoy me and what I can ignore.

The person who is swearing and shouting likely lives in a very small world as it is. Their disability will have closed off so much of the world to them already. They shouldn’t lose their own garden too.

The OP's rights do not trump the neighbour's. She has the same rights to be in her garden, so suggesting she should be removed is a non starter

Nobody has a right to scream obscenities every day in a place other people have to listen to it, garden or not

TrickyD Selective quoting can be a double edged sword. I also wrote that I didn't know what the solution would be.

Because none of them have more rights than the others.

And as for removing the lady from the garden. Good luck with that. It's an adult woman and even elderly women can be quite strong.

Some of the advice to go next door and finding out about the situation seem quite interesting. Hopefully a compromise can be found.

No, not initially. With time it would get easier. I’ve grown to tune out the barking dogs and the sirens that pass my house constantly. I’m a NT adult with the ability to decide what I let annoy me and what I can ignore.

Barking dogs stop after a while. Sirens pass in a few seconds. From what the OP said this is hours upon hours of shouting and swearing for days on end. I don't believe for one moment you would 'happily' get used to that.

It is untenable.

Barking dogs stop after a while. Sirens pass in a few seconds.

Nope. Both are constant in my street.

Thank you for all the advice.

I’m not too sure as to the situation regards to whether the lady next door is working with the person with special needs or if it’s live in situation. If I had to guess I’d say she’s working as the noise seems to be predominantly between 10am and 4pm. It’s been quiet at weekends too. So it’s about 6 hours pretty much every weekday if the weather is fine.

The house is owned not rented for those asking.

As I said in my op I’m not intending to go round “all guns blazing” but maybe a little friendly chat might be in order to see if a compromise could be made. It could be that the carer simply doesn’t realise how loud her charge is or that there are small children living nearby. She may have only seen my older DC who are in and out all the time.

I certainly wouldn’t expect someone shut inside all day because of their disability but neither should my children be scared to play in their own garden. I hope we can work something out.

What age are your children OP? If it ends at 4 your DC have all evening to use the garden after that. And are probably in school for much of the day during the shouty period.

Nope. Both are constant in my street.

So you have sirens outside your house all the time? Really?

yes really. The ambulance and police station are at the top of my road. And it’s a main route through the town.

Oh and my neighbours dog has been barking since 7am. In case you were doubting that there are dogs in my universe too.

Call the RSPCA then

The OP's neighbour can't help his/herself.

OP needs to explain this to her children. Amazingly kids do get the difference.

Oh, OP YABVVVVU.

It's the adults that are the scared ones in this situation otherwise they'd be able to explain it to the kids

Call the RSPCA then

1) the RSPCA don’t deal with barking dogs. The council do.
2) I’m already dealing with it. I wasn’t asking for advice on it.
3) are you ok, hun?

Nope. Both are constant in my street

Sirens are contstant in your street? Are they shite.

Fuck
Me

On another thread people were telling the OP to stop her child playing the fucking piano as it wasn't fair on the neighbours.

And now they're all falling over themselves to say that people can shout swearwords as much as they like.

Speak to the council OP. Your kids shouldn't have to listen to it. A solution needs to be found. The council may be able to assist.

The OP with the piano playing satanic child wasn't this OP before anyone gets confused.....

I imagine they are different people

Sirens are contstant in your street? Are they shite.

Don't try to question the one-upmanship FFS, she'll be telling us she has a brass band in the loft next....

Sirens are contstant in your street? Are they shite.

hi neighbour.

I imagine they are different people

Obviously Yes, but it's the principle you muppet.

This is MN - you're wrong no matter what as it's full of people who like to argue.....

Sirens aren't constant in anyones street. At least try to sound reasonable