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Original poster

Should I feel guilty about this or not ?!

128 replies

2furbabies · 22/05/2018 01:36

I'll try to keep this short... ish

Basically Dp and I are splitting we cannot get on and after 2 years of trying for our child it's just not working.
He expects me to do everything around the house and all that bla bla but the main issue was he was always tired or not horny and honestly we only have sex about once a month!! Sorry for the prudes out there but I love sex I'd do it everyday if I could! He wouldn't go near me when I was pregnant and then the traumatic labour meant we went 1.3 years without any sex 😩 and then when we could he's too tired or doesn't want too! Not toting my own horn but I'm an attractive female in her late twenties I know I can get my desires fulfilled lol
Soooo we've been split up a month now and he's in the process of moving out and there's a really cute guy I've known for years who I know for a fact will take me on a date and the rest hopefully ha! But I feel guilty!! There's no chance of getting back with my ex I love him to pieces but it's never going to work no matter how much we both try so why do I feel guilty ?! Am I missing something here because my friends tell me to go for it. It's nothing serious just fun and I'm very much ok with that!
Help?!

OP posts:
Jamboree05 · 23/05/2018 15:50

I'll join!! Pub it is. Nice day for it.

Original poster
2furbabies · 23/05/2018 15:50

@ShatnersWig what the fuck are you actually going on about ??? I haven't lied about anything you crazy twat 😂😂

OP posts:
Summerinrome · 23/05/2018 15:50

I would definitely go and enjoy yourself, your relationship is over and if you are completely sure you are finished then it is fine, and you have waited so long already for a sexual experience.

Be careful not to have any accidents and take things slowly, but yes I would go for it!

When a man does not have sex with you it does make you feel unattractive and crucifies your confidence, so all the more reason to go out and have the kind of life I suspect you have been desperate for.

Original poster
2furbabies · 23/05/2018 15:52

I really don't care about your stupid opions of me I asked a question because I've been oppressed for years by this man to give context I put that I am good looking!! Which I am!!! So why the fuck shouldn't I go out and do what I want! I also clearly needed validation that he is absuive because I haven't been able to see it properly through love. So crack on I'll give it back as good as I get so carry on guys

OP posts:
Original poster
2furbabies · 23/05/2018 15:54

@Summerinrome thank you 😁😁😁 hopefully I will be strong enough not to take him back! He's very persuasive and is a diamond when he wants to be! But aren't all the abusive ones!

OP posts:
SparklyMagpie · 23/05/2018 15:55

Well get arranging that shag then OP

Of course it's your decision, won't slate you for that

Juells · 23/05/2018 15:56

I understand completely where you're coming from @2furbabies
I'd also think that he's getting sex elsewhere. I spent several years asking my ex to see a doctor, being kind, doing all the right things so he wouldn't feel he was being un-manly... turned out he'd been having an affair for years.

ShatnersWig · 23/05/2018 15:56

@GuestWW Mine's a refreshing pint of cider, seeing as it's so warm and sunny today, ta muchly

troodiedoo · 23/05/2018 15:58

You sound like hard work.

Original poster
2furbabies · 23/05/2018 16:01

@Juells sorry to hear that! I've searched everything out of desperation and he's either really good at hiding it or it's something else 😩 who knows ?!! And yeah i agree we must never think we're attractive clearly lol I go join the nuns now

OP posts:
Original poster
2furbabies · 23/05/2018 16:02

@troodiedoo

I do everything for this man and I'm
The one who's hard work 😂😂😂 ok I'll stay with him then and continue to let him walk all over me probably shagging someone else while I raise his kids and ours!

OP posts:
Original poster
2furbabies · 23/05/2018 16:02

@troodiedoo you joker 😂😂

OP posts:
Juells · 23/05/2018 16:06

@2furbabies

I think pp simply don't understand how demoralising it is, and how difficult to hold on to any feelings of self-worth. They're being shits, ignore them and ask for the thread to be deleted.

AntiGrinch · 23/05/2018 16:06

I think you should get away from your current P and clear your head before you shag new guy. You are still in thrall to what you wish was the case. Don't complicate things by getting a new guy till you have more emotional clarity on the current / ex guy - you need to get out of his influence. he is not nice to you and you can't see that clearly enough yet.

Kovou · 23/05/2018 16:07

Really, you don't need to do anything extra? How about working on your personality for a start?

Before you accuse me of being jealous (which denotes your own insecurity op), I am more than confident in my appearance but rather value how I treat others more so......Hmm

From your question though, it sounds like you are not over your ex which is to be expected. Give yourself time to grieve the relationship if you don't want to feel guilty or just pursue your hookup for the love of the 'd' and understand that it's a process to move on from relationships.

SparklyMagpie · 23/05/2018 16:10

@Juells oh I'm very aware thank you,so you can cross me off on that list

ichifanny · 23/05/2018 16:21

It your life OP just a warning not to put all your worth in a relationship in your body and how you look and how much sex you have , those things fade eventually and it’s an almighty crash when it does , try meet someone you have a connection with that’s not all about sex .

Juells · 23/05/2018 16:25

and how much sex you have , those things fade eventually and it’s an almighty crash when it does , try meet someone you have a connection with that’s not all about sex .

You flippin' want to have sex while you're still young enough to enjoy it, though Angry

ichifanny · 23/05/2018 16:30

Of course you do but it’s not the be all and end all of a relationship though is it ? Well not in the narcissistic way when it’s about making yourself feel attractive more than having a connection with someone . I’m 37 and still have plenty of sex but it’s not nearly as important as I thought it was in my early 20s

Juells · 23/05/2018 16:33

I’m 37 and still have plenty of sex

Try being 37 and not having had sex for several years, and then come back and tell us it isn't important in a relationship.

ichifanny · 23/05/2018 16:35

I didn’t say it wasn’t important but it’s not the most important thing don’t twist my words . pick someone based on how often they shag you and see how you get on with that . The narcissism on this thread is rank .

SparklyMagpie · 23/05/2018 16:36

I actually agree that sex is quite an important part of a relationship

HotPointTumbleDryer · 23/05/2018 16:39

Woah, that escalated real fast!

SparklyMagpie · 23/05/2018 16:39

Theirs nothing worse than being in a relationship and being rejected and having no intimacy,, I've been there an I'd never put myself through it again. BUT if I was going to sleep with someone else, the first thing I'd do is make sure that relationship with ex was over, dead and buried

No harm in NSA fun but not when some things/feelings are still unresolved with ex

Original poster
2furbabies · 23/05/2018 16:40

@ichifanny are you being serious ? We didn't have sex for a year and a half ...... before that it was once a month if I was lucky !! Soon as I was Involved in all the house work and running of day to day life he didn't seem interested like he had his slave now!

OP posts:
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