Should I feel guilty about this or not ?!

[2furbabies]

I'll try to keep this short... ish

Basically Dp and I are splitting we cannot get on and after 2 years of trying for our child it's just not working.
He expects me to do everything around the house and all that bla bla but the main issue was he was always tired or not horny and honestly we only have sex about once a month!! Sorry for the prudes out there but I love sex I'd do it everyday if I could! He wouldn't go near me when I was pregnant and then the traumatic labour meant we went 1.3 years without any sex 😩 and then when we could he's too tired or doesn't want too! Not toting my own horn but I'm an attractive female in her late twenties I know I can get my desires fulfilled lol
Soooo we've been split up a month now and he's in the process of moving out and there's a really cute guy I've known for years who I know for a fact will take me on a date and the rest hopefully ha! But I feel guilty!! There's no chance of getting back with my ex I love him to pieces but it's never going to work no matter how much we both try so why do I feel guilty ?! Am I missing something here because my friends tell me to go for it. It's nothing serious just fun and I'm very much ok with that!
Help?!

He ended it? All the more reason to see someone else. So what if he's having second thoughts?

OP Self loathing? Ha. I can think of very few times in the eight years I've been on MN where women who want more sex from their men are told to "try harder", "use more make up", "get down the gym". Seriously?

Hellon Spot on.

You may know your worth but you don't know MN if you genuinely think posters would tell you to try harder by going to the gym and making sure you're hot
Shagging someone else won't help you move on. All it means is you've added someone else into the middle of your toxic relationship. God knows why you'd want to do that. And if you're the sort of person who needs another relationship before you can end the current one, then it would make more sense to chat with a counsellor than shag your friend.

@ShatnersWig you'll probably get deleted for troll-hunting but I just wanted to say I've never related to a rant more. Not particularly with this OP but nowadays I often want to have a similar rant on MN threads.

I have two step children as well 😂 but thank you for going into detective mode to fine that out 😂 yes I went that long without sex he didn't have sex with me for the whole time I was pregnant 9 months + then 6 months recovery time! It's actually longer than I said before so what's your point ?

If you ‘know your worth’ then p,ease don’t even consider getting back with this twat.

@ShatnersWig I'm a time wasting wanker ?! Because I know I'm good looking. Jesus Christ thank god I wasn't feeling close to the edge or something with your horrible attitude! Your 8 years on mums net you haven't heard people saying go try harder etc ? Funny because I've just seen a few threads that say exactly that

@PolkaHots thank you! That's the problem I know my worth but he's gotten under my skin and in my brain I cannot work out if I'm crazy he's crazy or both! I just wish I could of made my family work but I can't! Would of been nice to be told the advice without being hated on for stuff as I was trying to give the story context! And yes I have seen people recommend the woman tries harder x

Really? Jessica seems to agree with me. As does Frenchie by awarding you a biscuit. And the timewasting is due to all the inconsistencies in your various threads, not because you're a narcissist.

Wonder why your guy would have a problem fucking someone so incredibly hot, though?

@MirriVan thank you so much!!! I am a bloody house maid!! And I don't even get the sexy outfit lol xx

@MirriVan which by the way would actually have worn if provided lol 😂 x

Look, split with your partner or don't split.

But it is far easier to split amicably if you treat the other party with respect.

Get used to being on your own, ENJOY being on your own. And then start to look for a new partner IF you want one.

I have two step children ? I don't talk about them often as they are angel children unfortunately their mother was a crack head and died .......

Me and dp didn't have sex for a year and half which is even longer than I stated before ? Can you not do maths ?

ShatnersWig

Seriously, if it’s getting to you this much, you’re probably spending too much time on here.

@ShatnersWig I'm not sure why your seeking validation for you argument with me from other people ?
And then commenting that I'm lying about being good looking lol ? I have honestl wondered if he's gay I'm honest there's a few things that have made me suspicious which I won't go into now! Either that or he's been seeing someone else ? You tell me since your the oracle of mums net

does you ex have diagnoses ocd.this could be the reason behind no sex if so?
there are so mant ixed feelings.i would also add if you sleep with this other guy would that be it.wont it add more emotions.how would the other guy feel.one night stand?become attatched?
sex never solves anything.
id say you need to really finish or not with your ex first.get all those feeling sifted through.could you sit down with him.at least then you know where each of you are.you get to vent.and then youll really no you've done the right thing or whether you need to try it again.
each new relationship is tricky.and that without there being a really deep one before hand.youll always be taking some part of you and it with you.but it doesn't stop the next stage being just as good.it just takes time.

@JacquesHammer thank you that's very good advice! I do deff need to be alone for a while to sort my own head out! It's very easy for people to give advice and I can be great at also giving advice just not to myself I have honestly tried everything under the sun to make this work with dp and now he's doing a u turn it's fooking my head up! Maybe ask him to move out still and take it from there ? If he did magically change himself in a year or so he could always come back ? If not I'll be separated already and won't have to deal with his nagging and lack of intimacy

@ShatnersWig

But I'd at least have the decency to wait until your ex-DP has fully moved out. Well done for moving on so incredibly quickly, telling us all how attractive you are and how easy you will (and have) found it to find a guy who wants to shag you knowing you're in the middle of splitting up.

Nasty post. Why shouldn't she tell us how attractive she is? She's been married to a shit who's been destroying her self-confidence for years, of course she needs to assert her own worth.

Maybe ask him to move out still and take it from there?

If you're not sure you want to split then there's no harm in a trial separation, to see how you both feel.

However, it is possible that he might decide the split is working for him.

Would it be worth you having counselling before you make a major step?