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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder why dd doesn't want to join our family data storage?

89 replies

Niamhanna · 20/05/2018 10:36

We've purchased a 200 GB storage plan on apple for our iPhones. Our younger daughter has joined it, but our older dd (aged 18) is refusing to, saying it's an invasion of privacy and she wants to keep her phone completely separate.

AIBU to wonder what she has on her phone that she wouldn't want us to see?

OP posts:
teaandtwigs · 20/05/2018 10:37

Do you remember being 18? I would absolutely be saying the same if I was your DD!

Tobuyornot99 · 20/05/2018 10:37

A million things, she's 18! I would absolutely agree with her, daft selfies, messages with her mates about drinking too much, boys she's snogged, it would be odd if she wanted to join IMO

Buzzlightyearsbumchin · 20/05/2018 10:38

YAB completely U she is an adult.

I wouldn't want my family having that sort of access to my phone either.

PinkHeart5914 · 20/05/2018 10:38

She’s an adult she can have whatever the hell she likes on her phone provided it’s not illegal it’s nobody else business.

I’m with her in it being an invasion on privacy tbh....

gamerwidow · 20/05/2018 10:38

Her own private stuff. It doesn’t have to be incriminating it’s just hers and you don’t have a right to see it.
I wouldn’t share my phone contents with my mum either, not because there’s anything dodgy in there but because you need some boundaries.

Returnofthesmileybar · 20/05/2018 10:39

Ah come on, yabu, you know it surely. I have nothing to hide either but no way would I go on to any family data storage

BarryTheKestrel · 20/05/2018 10:40

I wouldn't have wanted to join a family storage at that age either.
Is the storage just photos and music or is it everything from contacts and messages etc? I wouldn't have wanted my family to be able to read my messages, or see my pictures tbh.

My mum was quite against me going out and drinking/smoking/having a boyfriend even at 18/19 however I did these things and had pictures/messages etc surrounding this. If DM had been able to see it by accessing family storage it would have caused me a world of trouble even as an adult.

GalwayWayfarer · 20/05/2018 10:40

She's 18! What 18 year old would happily share data storage with her family? It would be like having a communal diary.

bergamotbitch · 20/05/2018 10:42

You're weird for wanting to see all of her stuff. Give her some privacy for God's sake!

MorningsEleven · 20/05/2018 10:42

Because she has a right to privacy.

Happinesss · 20/05/2018 10:42

She’s 18, I wouldn’t want to share my phone at 18 either Wink

TheFaerieQueene · 20/05/2018 10:43

At 18 she is forging her own identity away from the family unit. She is wanting to be more than your daughter or her sibling’s sister. Her privacy is key to this.

Original poster
Niamhanna · 20/05/2018 10:43

In the plan, she can opt out of photo or purchase sharing (films/music), but she's refusing to join because the data isn't 'encrypted' whatever that means.

OP posts:
Nousernameforme · 20/05/2018 10:44

Depends who pays for it.

boho2u · 20/05/2018 10:45

She's wants some privacy and 18 that's fine. I would share data storage with my parents either.

whydoesitalwayshappentome · 20/05/2018 10:48

I don't blame her. She is entitled to join in or not as she wants. She is an adult after all. I certainly would not have at her age or even now to be honest.

butlerswharf · 20/05/2018 10:49

Totally normal

NancyDonahue · 20/05/2018 10:50

Blimey she's 18. Leave her alone.

I'm reminded of the episide of Black Mirror where the mum gets obsessed with knowing where her daughter is all the time. It didn't end well.

FullOfJellyBeans · 20/05/2018 10:50

I'm 35 and I wouldn't want my parents seeing all my photos, even though none of them are remotely interesting. She wants some privacy let her be!

BaronessBomburst · 20/05/2018 10:50

I'm with you're daughter.
In fact, I don't even bother backing my phone up to the free cloud storage because I don't want my data floating around.

FuckPants · 20/05/2018 10:51

I'm surprised that you even had to ask TBH.

Would you have wanted your parents to be able go through your phone contents when you were 18?

AlonsoTigerHeart · 20/05/2018 10:51

Yes at 32 i wouldnt share either

ToastyFingers · 20/05/2018 10:52

I wouldn't do this now, let alone at 18.

Snowysky20009 · 20/05/2018 10:52

If you don't know what encrypted means, are you sure sites you use, go on, purchase from etc are safe?

WonderTweek · 20/05/2018 10:52

I wouldn’t want to share my data with my husband, let alone my parents. GrinI have absolutely nothing to hide but I was raised to believe that phones (and bags) are private and you don’t have to share the contents with anyone. I have no idea how to deal with my son eventually getting a smart phone as I’d never want to check it but it seems to be wise to check you kid’s phones to make sure they’re safe online. (My kid’s only 16 months though so I have some time to think about it. Wink)

But to OP, I think it’s perfectly normal to want privacy.

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