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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder why dd doesn't want to join our family data storage?

89 replies

Niamhanna · 20/05/2018 10:36

We've purchased a 200 GB storage plan on apple for our iPhones. Our younger daughter has joined it, but our older dd (aged 18) is refusing to, saying it's an invasion of privacy and she wants to keep her phone completely separate.

AIBU to wonder what she has on her phone that she wouldn't want us to see?

OP posts:
Snowysky20009 · 20/05/2018 10:53

Andyes you are being totally unreasonable, no way would I expect my 18 year to share!!

colditz · 20/05/2018 10:54

god probably everything, she's 18, not 8

Middleoftheroad · 20/05/2018 10:54

I wouldn't want to join a family data storage at 44, yet alone 18.

My phone is my own and not all things need to be shared in the name of family!

sallus · 20/05/2018 10:55

I think phones these days can be a bit like a diary - you have so much stuff on there. I'd not be happy with anyone going through my phone and I'm deeply boring. It's got all my messages, photos, bank stuff, internet browsing history, downloads, mood diary, calendar - everything.

siwel123 · 20/05/2018 10:57

She is 18.
Data isn't encrypted means there's been lots of hacks of Apple storage and cloud storage lately, so she may be scared that that could happen.
She has a right to privacy and therefore YABU.

NoSquirrels · 20/05/2018 11:04

She's 18! If she wants her own data storage why not?

As long as she's paying for it...

I mean - you can provide her with the option of the communal data storage which you are willing to pay for, or the option of paying for her own as an adult.

Totally fair.

Stop wondering what she's "hiding". She 18!

DaughterDrowningInJunk · 20/05/2018 11:06

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

liz70 · 20/05/2018 11:08

47 here. Fuck that for a game of soldiers. Adult individuals have a right to privacy.

Scribblegirl · 20/05/2018 11:08

Sounds like she knows far more about this than you do tbf.

Whisky2014 · 20/05/2018 11:09

Control freak mother

Peaseblossom22 · 20/05/2018 11:11

TBH and looking at it the other way around, I wouldn't be happy to share everything with my children either.Are you really happy that your whole family will see any of your private information. It's not like there is anything suspicious but I absolutely wouldn't want to share my personal data and correspondance with my 18 year old dc. I think you need to brush up on your tech knowledge as you sound a little naive, your daughter sounds more sensible than you

liz70 · 20/05/2018 11:12

Incidentally, I have a micro SD card giving me 128 GB of storage in my tablet (I don't have a smart phone), and it's mine, all mine! Ain't sharing it with nobody! Grin

TheNoseyProject · 20/05/2018 11:20

I wouldn’t want this, how annoying to have people flicking through your photos, or saying ‘I saw you downloaded X film was it good’. There’s nothing suspicious about wanting your things to be just yours.

I wouldn’t wander into someone’s room and flick through their photo albums or read notes they’d left to themselves on their bedside cabinets.

She raises a good point about encryption especially if you allow your photo/device to save passwords or have linked apps etc to a payment system. Worth double checking that.

speakout · 20/05/2018 11:23

Are you Michelle Duggar?

UpstartCrow · 20/05/2018 11:24

@Niamhanna Sun 20-May-18 10:43:43
she's refusing to join because the data isn't 'encrypted' whatever that means

Get her to explain it to you in plain English. Unencrypted data storage is not secure.

theconversation.com/how-secure-is-your-data-when-its-stored-in-the-cloud-90000

ImNotMeImSomeoneElse · 20/05/2018 11:26

YABVVVVVVU.

Her phone is hers. There is probably nothing untoward on it, but she just doesn't want you poking into her business.

The very fact you assume she is hiding something and want to know what it is makes it seem that you would have a good old nose around given half the chance.

She's an adult. It's not your business.

ButchyRestingFace · 20/05/2018 11:30

At 39, I wouldn't want on your family data storage plan either, if only because I'd be mortified at other people potentially finding out just how crashingly dull my life is. Grin

FuckPants · 20/05/2018 11:34

The iCloud is encrypted, the celebrity hacks were social engineering I believe rather than hacking into Apple.

happypoobum · 20/05/2018 11:38

I expect it is because she spends her weekends injecting heroin into her eyeballs, having sex with animals, and going about her job as an international spy.

Either that or she just wants some bloody privacy.

diddl · 20/05/2018 11:45

"AIBU to wonder what she has on her phone that she wouldn't want us to see?"

Why would you be looking at her stuff-or wouldn't she even be able to store seperately so that you wouldn't be able to avoid seeing it?

Lacucuracha · 20/05/2018 11:48

You can wonder all you like about what is on her phone but she is 18 and entitled to her privacy.

Pengggwn · 20/05/2018 11:50

Porn. Big, noisy, exuberant porn.

Now, give your adult daughter some privacy. You sound strange.

DistanceCall · 20/05/2018 11:50

AIBU to wonder what she has on her phone that she wouldn't want us to see?

Do you really have to ask?

She's 18. She is presumably sexually active or getting there. She is an adult and has a right to her privacy.

Lay off her.

Prawnofthepatriarchy · 20/05/2018 11:50

Another voice saying YABVU. Oh, and if you don't know what encrypted means then look it up.

balsamicbarbara · 20/05/2018 11:51

It's irrelevant what she has on her phone and zero percent your business now she's an adult.